Take my hand like
You take my thought
This empty screen of emotion
Needs no words, has no words
That I can say
In this timeless act
Of loving you
Of pretending
Sinking and melting and twisting
In the cavernous pools of my blank, gray mind
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
:)
"Needs no words, has no words"
I absolutely love that line! This poem flows well and is really a great piece.

-
-
Thank you!
-Colin
-
-
I like this as a poem. This flowed very well and was very nice.
-H -
-
Thank you!
-
-
I think you do well with short poems. This one's really great. It has lots of stark, beautiful emotion, but I feel it might need something. Maybe change the title?
Loving the last two lines.
-
-
Thanks for the read, I'm glad you liked it.
-C
-
-
Every word is so important and well chosen (?) I really like
"This empty screen of emotion"
It just sort of held me. Really, really nice job.
xx
H -
Hmm....I really love your short poems, because especially from you, there's room to interpret it for yourself. I like this...The imagery of last line is very strong.
-
-
Thanks for the read Hawk! I'm glad that you liked it. I don't usually write very many short poems but I have written a couple lately. Hmm, maybe my thoughts are getting shorter.
-Colin
-
1 - 9 of 9




