Thinking

I don’t know how to explain
But this feeling is so great
I don’t want anything else
But this
And your love
I could search forever
And never find someone as great as you
I love you with everything that I am
But now I’m having second thoughts
I want us, to be forever.
I don’t know if it’s just me
But you don’t seem the same.
You used to want to see me all the time
You used to talk me to sleep
Am I the only one
That has your heart
Or have I been sharing it
I can’t stand the thought of it
I think about it all the time
Baby, please reassure me
Tell me that you only want me
Tell me that I’m the one you love
That compared to me no one could measure.
Baby please.
Am I just kidding myself?
Is this just a fairy tale?
I want to tell you how much it hurts
But it don’t matter anymore
I’ve told you how I felt
That I’m madly in love with you
That I don’t want anyone else
But then you just go off with your ex’s
Making me feel unimportant
Like I mean nothing to you
Like I’m just your play toy.
In my heart,
I want to believe that,
Nothings happening
But in the back of my mind
I don’t know what to believe
I’ve been thinking a lot
I don’t want to leave you
But what else do I do
Your hurting me
You make me feel not good enough
Not pretty enough
Not smart enough
Just a total fuck up
I thought I finally did something good
I thought I made you happy
But I guess I was wrong
You left me
Once for a different girl
Then came back the next day
Then you left again
Just cause I was having a bad week
And just wanted to leave and get away
Then I promised you I wouldn’t
And you came back
You say I’m good enough
But I know different
It’s been the same
With every guy I’ve been with
Now I understand
I see it now

A friend once told me
“You’re pretty,
you actually are smart
when you apply yourself.
You’re good at your job.
You’re outgoing.
You’ve got a good sense of humor”
She told me little things
That make me good , like
“You like singing loudly and,
dancing when putting make up on,
that I work hard for what I want,
and that I always get it.
That I’m such a mama’s girl.
And she said I’m a good person.
That any guy would be lucky to have me.”
I don’t see how she sees that
I have tried so hard
To make everything ok
But it just seems to all go to hell

I’m taking time away from everyone and everything


I need time to think