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Pieces

A sunlight's shadow frames you
separated jigsaw puzzle
lying on the the bed in pieces
needing to be whole

yearning silence
desiring to break out
too clouded and unsure
to be able to cut through
the dense tangle of conflicting thoughts

to understand the woman
who can't take off her mourning
the little girl cast out
one rainy night beneath the pointed shadow

pieces scattered on a one way street
with no detour in sight

How would you improve this

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Comments


  • Kovop the Great
    February 25, 2009
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    I couldn't improve it.

    Wow. There isn't a single thing to gripe or complain about with this, beautiful imagery involving the confusion that comes with amory. I love how this is all one single thought and idea, one sentence. Blank verse suits you well, keep at it.


  • CarlySeye
    February 25, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Imagery

    The imagery of this:

    "A sunlight's shadow frames you
    separated jigsaw puzzle"

    is astounding! so beautiful