A sunlight's shadow frames you
separated jigsaw puzzle
lying on the the bed in pieces
needing to be whole
yearning silence
desiring to break out
too clouded and unsure
to be able to cut through
the dense tangle of conflicting thoughts
to understand the woman
who can't take off her mourning
the little girl cast out
one rainy night beneath the pointed shadow
pieces scattered on a one way street
with no detour in sight
How would you improve this
Comments
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I couldn't improve it.
Wow. There isn't a single thing to gripe or complain about with this, beautiful imagery involving the confusion that comes with amory. I love how this is all one single thought and idea, one sentence. Blank verse suits you well, keep at it. -
Imagery
The imagery of this:
"A sunlight's shadow frames you
separated jigsaw puzzle"
is astounding! so beautiful
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