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Whore Frost.

 

 

Inseminal whore frost

 

Sprinkles my buttery heart

 

With icicles like needles

 

Perforating an addict´s artery.

 

I pay her fee I feel her pain -

 

Unlock my arsenal

 

And with artillery bombard

 

Her wintery disposition

 

Expending shells until

 

(Husky voice proclaiming triumph)

 

My emptiness is whole –

 

Breaking her open

 

Until verdure, so much finer

 

Than I deserve,

 

Blooms from her cracks,

 

And though I seep with shame,

 

I pretend it to be

 

The most beautiful thing in the world,

 

As natural

 

As Spring melting snow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

An icy disposition can serve a most frigid chill to libidos warmed by the heat of the moment. An alternate title I have in mind is: Winter Springs From Summer´s Fall. But as you can observe I went for the come-hither lure of a speculative title to draw in the punters.

Spring In Her Stride?

    : Comment:

Comments

1 - 24 of 24
  • TBelle
    November 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Hey G
    I seem to keep coming back to this one of yours G, I really like it.

    Sammi

  • TallulahBelle
    June 5, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Nice.

    Breaking her open
    Until verdure, so much finer
    Than I deserve,
    Blooms from her cracks,
    And though I seep with shame,
    I pretend it to be
    The most beautiful thing in the world,
    As natural
    As Spring melting snow.

    You make desperate seedy sex with a prostitute sound so beautiful.

    Lulu


    • gnosisonG silver member
      June 6, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Hi TalulahBelle!

      Thanx! You touched on one of my prime motivations for writing - making the grotesque sound beautiful.
      Words clothe the poets naked soul.
      I`d just like to say that I`m unaccustomed to the tawdry delights of prostitution.
      I could never find anyone willing to pay me.

      Warmest regards

      gG-spot

      • TallulahBelle
        June 6, 2009
        Edit | Reply
        gG-spot
        Advertising a name like that, i am surprised you aren't raking in the coin.
        I'd be willing to pay a bloke that even knows where it is!

        Lu xx


        • gnosisonG silver member
          June 6, 2009
          Edit | Reply

          Ahh...

          ...truth be told, TalulahBelle, I`ve yet to uncover the true whereabouts of my own pleasure-pimple.

          grossisonG


  • Kelsoo.
    May 20, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Well, all I can really say is this is writen beautifully. But, unfortunatly, due to my 14 yr. old mind, this is way above my head. Haha :]

    • gnosisonG silver member
      June 6, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      No Worries Kelsey.

      There are plenty of grown-ups just as befuddled. Thanx a bundle!

      Regards

      gG


  • Kovop the Great
    March 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing, gnosisonG

    gnosisonG, I can't help but read this poem and think about cocaine and drugs of the like. It's probably the snowy image paired with the references to the circulation system. Or maybe the the violence that's embedded in the poem (more prevalent in the first few lines) or the change in tone/the narrator's state of mind. I could be completely wrong with that connection, nor am I insinuating anything about your activities, but everything about it seems to point to such a subject.
    On a lighter note:
    "And thought I seep with shame,
    I pretend to be
    The most beautiful thing in the world,
    As natural
    As Spring melting snow."
    That excerpt really speaks to me on a personal level when it comes to lying to one's self and proclaiming perfection. The superiority that one can feel in everyday life is just an act: playing pretend.

    You did an amazing job, gnosisonG, I love your style. It's bombastic and riveting, I can't get enough

    language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 5.


    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Stirling Comment Rimanenzediieri!

      Cheers squared for that, mate. Tis much appreciated.
      Certainly I do make use of drug imagery though for me the piece is steeped in sexual innuendo: seminal fluids/inseminate, expending shells = squirting sperm, breaking her open = swelling labia, seeping with shame = post-cum seepage. And I´m afraid the insipid list could go on and on ad nauseum, my friend. Sex n drugs n cock in a roll.
      You hit the nail on the head concerning the final part - the point I´m attempting being that both parties play pretend, both fit their roles of punter and hooker and essentially deny higher aspects of the self. Which in a way can be equated to certain profligate forms of drug-use. Hmmm.

      Warmest regards

      gGonad-the-barbarian


    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Psycho.

      Glad it was to your taste.
      Nice enticing picture btw. You might, if I may be so bold, like to check out my gory, gothic vampyre series: Irma Vep - Infernal Introduction, The Sacrificial Lamb and The Cowl. I ve written 10 but posted three here at scarepoetry.
      Regards

      gG


  • TheVampyresBride
    March 8, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This Poem Is Absolutely Beautiful.


  • HelloMyNameIsJesus
    March 1, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    haha. wow this one was really good. 'icicles like needles' loved that part along with 'i pay her fee i feel her pain' great job. really liked the topic. maybe consider revising the ending. it has more potential.


    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Ryan

      Glad you enjoyed the non-tropical topic.
      Not sure what I could potentialize the conclusory closure with, mate. Any ideas welcome all the same.
      Regards

      gG


  • rhetorica silver member
    February 28, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    hey gG..when it`s very cold in Derry (-1 is very cold here) the locals often say, "It would freeze the balls off a brass monkey"..Next time i see one of those brass monkeys i`m going to get it a brass monkey whore so its testiculars can thaw out..i`ll let you know if it works..

    my favorite lines here;

    "my emptiness is whole-"
    and
    "(I pay her fee,I feel her pain)"


    There`s a couple of commas that look unnecessary at the end of lines 15 and 16 although i believe you used them deliberately as you intend the poem to be read slowly...

    A query maestro,
    Should there be an apostrophe in addict`s?

    See you soon gG

    rhetoricallsgirls




    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 22, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      A Testy Calling...

      Hi Rhet. Cheers a bundle, mate.
      Ah, what we in Norway would give to be able to huddle together within the warming glow of a brass monkey´s balls. Ensconsed as we are in these frigid climes a frosty whores tongue would stick to any frozen knob-end she cared to fellate - quite a mouthful.
      The apostrophe in "addict´s" is a possesive thingy so it should be there but the commas at the end are a case of comatose grammar it seems and I must agree with you as to their inane supercilliousness.
      Cheers.

      Hoary regards

      fridgGid

  • onyx2010
    February 27, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This was a cool poem. I really enjoyed reading it. I especially liked the first three lines. The title was also great, it drew me into reading this.

  • dave ochs
    February 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    hey gpimpG

    i feel ya dog. sometimes if get one of those cold hearted beeaccchhes you cant just go expecting to bust a nut on em. they like it nice an slow, so kiss em head to toe. only problem is when you through with em they won't let you alone. Word.
    Dave, the wannabe.


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 27, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Heheh!

      Tis true once the Ice Queens thaw they can indeed rub thy prick raw.

      Cheers dave

      sugGardaddy


  • February 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    I like the title

    Im glad you chose that title instead of the one you had listed. Whore frost sounds alot more interesting than winter springs from summer's fall.
    The title was actually what grabbed my attention.
    all in all i liked the piece
    but agree with the person before me about the narrative part.
    it could do without.

    good work

    <3


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 27, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Tori.

      Yeah Whore Frost is more direct but I liked the play of words in Winter Springs... because it incorporates all the seasons in few words. Still I ll save it for something more appropriate. Thanx.

      Regards

      gG


  • Papyrus
    February 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    suggestions

    gG,


    i think the narrative can be cut:

    Than I deserve,

    The most beautiful thing in the world, - or maybe just "in the world"

    (Husky voice proclaiming triumph) - parenthesis hurt the flow


    and i know you can find an adjective other than "buttery" to describe "heart," which seems to be a hard thing to describe freshly anyhow, being as how "heart" has been practically raped in poetry.


    i like the last part of the poem:

    My emptiness is whole –
    Breaking her open
    Until verdure, so much finer
    Than I deserve,
    Blooms from her cracks,
    And though I seep with shame,
    I pretend it to be
    The most beautiful thing in the world,
    As natural
    As Spring melting snow.

    maybe revise to read more like:

    My emptiness is whole –
    Breaking her open, until
    Verdure, so much finer
    Blooms from her cracks,
    Though I seep with shame,
    And pretend it to be
    The most beautiful thing,
    As natural as Spring
    Melting snow.


    anyhow, hope this helps. you're on to something here. i look forward to seeing any revisions.


    always,

    Pap


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 26, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Pap.

      Thanx for the input, mate. Twill be considered, though my first instincts do disagree with your suggestions concerning line breaks.
      The line breaks I ve used try to slow the poem down rather more whereby the shorter lines attempt to linger and add (hopefully) a more narrative feel to the piece. This might be more noticible if read aloud perhaps.
      The parenthesis line is, I grant, somewhat a bone of contention - must admit Im not entirely convinced as to its efficacy, though again I feel it adds more than it detracts to the narrative feel.
      As for buttery - this gratuitously alludes to ejaculate and is a play on sperm along with inseminal (inseminate), sprinkle and such. If the heart thing seems to be another case of poetic "rape" then in this case - so much the better (heheh).
      Cheers again for the input. Tis much appreciated.

      Regards

      grossisonG


      • Papyrus
        February 27, 2009
        Edit | Reply

        what ahppened to nature's innocence?

        gG,

        heh. i noticed that pun after my post. still, i don't think "buttery" is a recognizable allusion to semen. at least in my part of the world. it sounds more cliche to me than anything. oh, and nice picture. suits the poem, i think.

        well, cheers mate,

        Pap

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