naked you are
clothed in beauty's natural design
each stitch of purity sewn by innocence
a sea full of desire
you are love inspired
naked you are morning's yellow haze
a cool tranquility
for me a snug retreat
underneath a twilight waterfall
naked you're a murmur of surrender
the sweetness of a bluebird's mating call
a butterfly blown in from the horizon
you seem to tightly hold some secret close
your smile breaks out in gentle mystery
guided by a calm euphoric sigh
lingering through my day and
fading slow into the sunset sky
How would you improve this?
Comments
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This was a most pleasurable read. I just loved the first verse. I liked the repetition of theme with the verses opening with nakedness as if that in itself was an invitation to open up to the sensuality.
I would have preferred a softer or more gentle word for "secret", that word for me is negatively loaded and it took me out of where I was enjoying being. For me the title does not do this piece justice.
Thank you for this gift.
Karuna
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