she saw,
two passing figures in the dark
behind the car,
breathing,heaving
so ever feverently
searcing for the sex that eluded them all
watching them carefully
though afraid to be seen
she couldn't help but put her hand in between
couldn't drive back the growing need
another night she'd give in to greed
the nicotine helps
as she's touching herself
as shes fucking herself
the clock striking on twelve
its in her veins when she screams
in her hers eyes as they gleam
watching the animal scene
fingering at the cream
Author notes
so i think i had an okay start cause i just started typing as i wenr along....then when i actually stopped to think about it i lost it...
i think i'm making it worse now..
( i need critisism)
i'm not done
Comments
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hey Nochio,the first two stanzas set the scene but its all over in seconds after that like female premature(you know the rest),im not going that deep(sorry)
nicotine?
i dont get the relevance of smoking a cig while having a jig..you need to return to it,id love to finish it myself as theres so many ways you could take it(sorry)
i know the feeling(not lately) when it flows and flows and flows(sorry) then you become conscious of what you`re doing and it falls apart....i just walk away from it then if something comes(sorry)you finish it...
p.s. i only added the parenthesis(i have a naughty mind too,just like everyone else) as i believe you have a good soh
good luck,let me know when you are satisfied(sorry) with it
rhet -
you are amazing. i say it time and time again. this ones really cool. i like it alot. very creative, rc.
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