It's hard for me to say
I've been thinking all day
Which words will work best,
which will pass your test
What'll make you understand
That now I'm reaching my hand
Trying to find you, trying
I'm done with all the lying
And it's all my fault, I know
And I want forgiveness, so...
Please try hard to remember
our best times, before December
And I know I ruined it all
So maybe, if our steps are small
You'll forgive me, and then
we can be you and me again
Author notes
I don't really like the title... any ideas?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Saturday!!!
I can't believe I haven't commented on this before... Oh, well. I love your rhyming! I am terrible at that particular part of poetry, yet you make it seem to natural. I like the title, though; it works for this poem.
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thank you so much!
-S
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Good job with the rhyming, I really like it. I think the title could be changed, how about: Before December? I dunno though.
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cool i think i like th title now though
-S
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Wow this is really sweet. And i agree with Young Hawk i think the title fits it because when i read your poem i see it as a longing to be with the person and then i see the title and its like one last plea.
I really liked the line:
Which will pass your test
Because so many people are different and reactions to so that really intelligent to put that in there!
Over all good job!
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I know, people are crazy hard to figure out
Thanks a lot for the comment
-S
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This is so sweet. I really like your rhyming, especially since you don't do it much. I think you're awesome at both free verse and rhyming. I actually think the title is fine...Your words are really eloquent, they sum up very well how I feel about someone at the moment...and I can't find words to describe it. Amazing!
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Thanks, the title had grown on me...
-S
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Sweet
This is a very sweet poem. I agree wth you, i don't agree with the title. Maybe "I'm sorry" or "Forgiveness" or whatever. Anways, the poem sees the reader that you made or the person made a ig mistake and is trying to fix it. Great job. I like it very much! =3
language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.
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I love your rhyming. It really doesn't subtract frim the meaning. This is great. I do think you can think of a better title than "please" (CREATIVE JIUCES). maybe like 'small steps'? i dont know. I'm not too good with titles either... Great job. really well done.
Himmel
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