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Memories

If I leave tonight,
What will be left to come back to?

I want to hold the memory around myself,
let it engulf me and
Take away the present.

A thousand words could never
show the beauty of pain and joy mingling,

and three hundred pictures are
never enough.

Each goodbye lingers,
but the moments before them
stay forever.

Does it drag on too much? ?

Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poem

Reviews

  • miSSareY
    August 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    oooh. i like how you said 300 photographs instead of ‘all the photographs’ or something like that.

    take away the present. yup. i can relate to that.

    overall this is a very simple and poignant piece.
    the simplicity of it works well to invoke your own questions about what you are saying in this.

    and no, i dont think it drags on at all.
    its quite short and succint, and its really quite lovely to read.
    i like the ending, it seems like one of those ender lines you’d find in an old time poem


    • goodbye carnivale
      August 16, 2005
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your comment ~ I really appreciate it (And, sorry it took so long for me to reply ^^; )

  • franomi
    August 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    nooooo.

    it was beautifully simple. no way does it drag on. i love L8-9, too. they’re like a post-script, a little add-on bit of common sense.
    nicely written.


  • distorted visions
    August 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Love it

    I liked the simplicity of it. The imagery was really good when you said, 300 photos are never enough. Why do much space between line 2 and three?

    . Rewarded 4


    • goodbye carnivale
      August 16, 2005
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks The spaces were too kind of break the piece so it doesn’t get read too quickly, but looking over it, the space doesn’t really seem to be necessary. I’ll change it ;D Thanks again .


  • OleanderKisses
    September 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I don`t thin your poem drags at all. I think it is very beautifully written. I can relate to feeling like that. Keep it up.

    . Rewarded 1