I awaken from my slumber
Sting of rain against bare skin
Shivering from the cold
My nightmares begin
Bound and gagged I lie here
Hidden, left for dead
Memories of my torture
Fill my mind with dread
My festered wounds are crawling
With insects deep within
They eat me while I live
And burrow under my skin
My mind screams out in horror
Almost driving me insane
I try to lift my head
Yet my body’s wracked with pain
There’s nothing I can do
But look upon the moon
Watching, waiting, hoping
Someone finds me soon
I shed my final tears
And settle to my fate
I try to think of good times
While I lie here and wait
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Wow...
I like this topic for a poem, and especially from the vantage point of the victim itself.
Marvelous congrats to the extremely vivid detail of the victims body, and feel of the insects 'burrowing' under the skin through the wounds, I like this a lot.
Though, I can be a very morbid peron sometimes.
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Haha thank you AJ
lainy -
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No problem; it is my pleasure.
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Very vivid. Excellently done.
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Thank you
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Wow. Lainy, I am always astounded by your work. You portray death so beautifully. It makes me want to die myself!
The imagery in this is great. I wouldn't change a thing!
Keep 'em coming!
The former
~ HopeWouldNeverFail
and
~ Abstract Thoughts
language: 4, rhythm: 5, subject: 5, tone: 5, form: 4.
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Thank you Hope
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intense, but easy to read
you sure can load the dispair and defeat into 24 shor lines---It's a real attention-grabber--i don't think anyone will stop reading in the middle of it---and yet you have rescued the uplifting spirit of mankind
"---Try to think of good times---while I wait--"and then the unwritten obvoius close
---(for death to come) I loved it !
language: 5, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 4, form: 5.
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Thank you OldHerm, sometimes its whats not said that makes us think, and yes I think the nature of mankind is to look beyond your hurt and accept your situation with grace.... eventually
lainy
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Wow this really painted a picture in my mind! I love the sick and twisted part of it with the "festered wounds" and stuff.
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Thank you
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Overpowering
This hit me hard. The imagery was so vivid I could see this helpless victim. My emotions were churning soon after I began reading it. I wasn't prepared. My chest grew tight and my eyes filled. I could feel the emotion you were portraying.
I like the format you chose. I was surprised by the eight line stanzas. You pulled that off real well. As you know I'm a fan of centering poetry in general, let alone if the line length are very uneven. You might consider starting this line with Yet: But my body’s... I can't tell you how strong this is in my opinion. Words fail me. Great write.
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Wow thank you Brian, I felt the eight line stanza's were appropriate for this poem as I didn't want to break it up too much and I think each stanza creates a different image and emotion, maybe I'm wrong but it feels right.
lainy
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always rockin on...like a NINJA!!!! i love ya! haha
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Hehe thank you
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Made me cry losts of emotion in this poem liked it....
~ERIKA~
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Thank you Erika
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Creepy and awesome as always!!! Loved the imagery. The 'insects burrowing into my skin' was gross! Blech!! Almost made me nauseous haha.
-Krista
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Omg your quick, I just came out of that post, how do you do it girl.
Oh and thank you
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Um. It tells me when you post a new poem. . . Lol. I just click from there!
You're welcome.
-Krista
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