the walrus looked onto the east
and knew just what he saw...
the shining of the promised feast
and the lions deafening roar.
knowing that his time was short,
the walrus took a bow
from no words follows no retorts
and is proven even now.
he waddled to his timely doom,
and the bounty that lied beyond
for wonders there must be sacrifice
Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble
Author notes
"Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble"
that means these are words that go together beautifuly... its french
Comments
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Sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble,,
J'aime vraiment votre poésie. Vous êtes véritablement amour doué. Vous avez mis des mots d'une manière que personne d'autre peuvent, très unique, très original, puits - fait
If you dont know what that means.
Its..
"I really love your poetry. You are truly talented love. You put words in a way no one else can, very unique, very original, well done"
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hey I actually speak fench
I was happy I could read that! I learned to speak fluid french maybe a year ago but was never very good at reading it and I was so happy I caught that. Though I misread some small letters I'm still siked that I was close. I like the way you put that at the end of the poem though I wouldnt have given the definition and given the reader somthing to look up
This was very beautiful though.
continuar écriture
(sorry if the writings a little off. Im a lil rusty *smile*)
Power to the pen,
-Jas.
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ahaha... i shall continue to do so....
thanks
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One of my favorite themes in poetry is surrender and this poem fits that bill very nicely. I am one that likes a line as well as the poem and the french line is nice - words that go together beautifully. How nature goes together beutifully. Even death. The poem shows, or suggests, that even death goes together with life. In beauty. Well done.
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Definitely different.
I liked your rhyme scheme even though you seem to have abandoned it in the end. I honestly wish you could have stuck with it and still finished out your train of thought.
The thought contained was interesting of that there should be no question. For everything in life it seems there must be some type of sacrifice. Sometimes we give of ourselves for the greater good knowing in the long run there will be something better awaiting us.
I've never really understood the complete lack of capitolization that some poets choose. I know for some it is a problem. From my stand point I can't see that it Always hurts the poem. I guess that is to say I'm fairly indifferent although I prefer to use it.
It's my personal preference to avoid using And or But at the beginning of a line unless necessary to add a needed line beat or to connect to the previous line. I try to put them on the ends of lines unless restricted by an end rhyme scheme as you are here. Often times short words like those can be omitted and implied instead. It's just my opinion but I think you could do something like this:
the shining of the promised feast;
the lions deafening roar.
I'll have to admit I'm not sure of your meaning in the second stanza. Would replacing and with as work without changing it?
Leagally speaking I know next to nothing. However, since your quote is from the Beatle's love song - Michelle - you might state that in your Author notes to be on the safe side.
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not bad. i'd ay put the french quote at the beginning.... btw... have I seen that quote before in a poem?
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the quote is from a beatles song, so no doubt you have, thanks
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