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Violent Daydreams

Having never
been
one prone
to violence,
I sometimes
find
myself
imagining situations,

situations where
I may have to
defend myself
or my house
or a loved one.

With muscles tense
I find
that my mind
already
knows what
to do,
though
my body would
never react
as such.

Yet,
I get a thrill,
a charge,
imagining
the crunch of bone
or the spurt of blood
from my opponent’s
mouth,

ruby shards
dropping
to the pavement.
And flowing down my fist,
mixing with my own.
Imagining the pain
is soothing in a way.

Fake adrenaline,
real reactions,
sometimes
it’s all the same.

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