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A Legend

He leans gracefully over his guitar,
Picking out the chords of his life.
Note by note he plays his destiny.
Song by song he composes his fate.

His voice rises and falls seductively,
Bewitching all who listen.
Awakening the passion in one’s soul,
And reviving the senses.

With his arousing song complete,
His goal is accomplished.
He bows out of life’s stage,
Leaving a legacy,
Leaving a story that shall never die.

Does this flow right and capture the attention of the reader?

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Reviews

  • Aurielle
    August 20, 2005

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    wow I love it

    It captures the readers attention but you should count the syllables. Line 12 is the only line that’s missing up the flow. I love it very very deep. Please critique mine thanks

    . Rewarded 4


    • LadyElle
      August 21, 2005
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      yeah I know that stanza has more lines than the rest, but I guess i kind of like it. It gets my pointacross a little bit better.
      thanks for the comments


  • Kilrah
    November 26, 2005
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    Good

    Yes, I think it flows very well and it certainly captured my attention!

  • DoubleUkL
    November 26, 2005

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    Verily...

    The flow seems very melody like but then again that is what you have aspired to portray.It certainly did capture my attention. Even Though If there is anything missing I think it is intensity because the title "the legend" commands respect. Not that you havnt shown any intensity in this work, just a little more would have done the trick for me.

    . Rewarded 4


  • The burner
    December 3, 2005
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    IS THAT ALL ABOUT A LEGEND

    Is that all about a legend? Of course, a master does things just because he must do them. and yeah, his masterpieces rule him. but, isn't there more to a master? you could perhaps…....

    . Rewarded 4