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you know....

you know

what
you did?

you did
a
wonder

you told
me

that

you slept
away
by me
last night
in your
dream

this
statement
of
yours

is

just forcing
me

not to leave
the bed

even
in the morning
as well

you know...


© prabhu dayal khattar

The love compels by the dreams even in reality..isn't?

Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poem

Reviews


  • Penskilled Pratyush
    February 10, 2006

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    Deep....as always

    Well, this is another deep work of yours prabhu. Yes, love is something which envelopes you. Doesnt leave you alone even for a minute. You just wish that it would leave you for a minute so you can feel life without it, but it doesnt happen. It just courses your veins, infests your breathes, fills your dreams.... Even in dreams you cant escape it....when you wake up, you wish for the same dream to come true....Just such an amazing feeling love is......
             As for the poem, I dont think I can meddle much. Words are few but strong. Feelings are well expressed. Short and sweet. Impact producing and clear. All good qualities of a poem....Keep writing.....Pratyush

    . Rewarded 4


  • February 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    it is for biginer I guess

    make it more stronger and use powerful words


  • Violet Moodswing
    February 11, 2006

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    Wow

    I really like the way you did this.  For some reason, that I can't put my finger on, the long string of 1 or 2 word --sometimes 3-- lines really gives this a more vivid feel.  Much like the thoughts and the dreaming.  I also like the last lines indication that there is more to come into infinity.  It uses simple language but the expression is very vivid much like that hot pink background

    Glad I stopped by to check it.  I really enjoyed the read.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Kevin Moderators member
    February 11, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    great linebreaks, it really pushed this piece along.  the pink is a bit bright for me!  'you slept away by me' doesn't sound quite right to me?  I like the kinkiness though

    . Rewarded 4


  • IrishPoet18
    February 15, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Great Poem

    Its a really sweet poem, I like it cause It reminds of my none straight life. (swings both ways) very good brava

    . Rewarded 4


    • PrabhuDayal Khattar
      February 15, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you so much..

      Thank you so much for your beautiful words..


      • IrishPoet18
        February 15, 2006
        Edit | Reply

        So welcome

        I just love it. YOur pic looks cool to, just thought you would like to know. My name is eddie to. Keep up the good writing. I will try to read more of your stuff.


  • John Late
    February 27, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    loved it

    Honestly...as much as  i liked the whole package- the words, the meaning as well as the style, i find it impossible to come up with more of a comment than that.
    Good work sir

    . Rewarded 4

  • The Pole Star
    March 11, 2006

    Edit | Reply

    Agian! You are so god at creating humor

    See....I don't know wheather you tried to look serious and deep here..but, you again created such a great adult humor.

    Earlier I mentioned by which angle it was funny,now I think I will hesitate doing that...

    Did you tried to say here that the girl couldn't beilieve that the boy slept away from her previous night? Ha! Ha! Ha!

    I think I like the way you write, I think it has a deep meaning, but, not 1 only but many. I am ur fan.

    . Rewarded 4


  • gypsy dreams
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    this is really great............

    awesome ...lost in it's beauty...deliciously romantic
    just a few lines you have descibed all!!

    keep delighting us

    jo