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MY FACE My face is an actor. I turn my back and it’s out there- Playing to the crowd. My face is a traitor. If I have a secret to keep it finds out what and from whom- and tells them out loud. My face is an impostor. It’s old and it’s beaten- but inside I’m still young and proud. My face did one good thing in its life- It spoke to my wife. Thankfully she stuck around to get the inside story. |
Comments?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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ok, i must say this is really differnt.
enjoyed the spin you put on this piece.
good job. -
Subtle and sublime
Like the form and the insight... like the echo and the contrast... like the implications of the prior verses and the potential relationship to the closing verse... wondering about the rhyme scheme and it was a bit funny too.... Rewarded 4
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Thank You Ronin.
I appreciate you taking the time and your kindness.Will try to return the compliment A.S.A.P. I read your poem 'Gaugin's ...' and liked it - hope you don't think 'Prey' is a rip-off - I wrote it a while ago- strange echoes though .
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Beautiful and true
This is a wonderful put together poem. It tells a true tell of all of us and thus brings home the message that we are all the same. In the end we all are betrayed by our face and we all hope to have someone stick around to get to know the real us inside. Very well written indeed. Rosemary. Rewarded 4
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Thanks!
Thanks for the kind words and for taking the time Rosemary.Hope it gave you a little chuckle as well.
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Wonderful poem!
I love the way you show the different "sides" of your face. The poem is very touching, vivid, and clear.. Rewarded 4
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I agree !
Lance , you are a shrewd political animal and you will go far! You also ,like me ,have excellent taste!Thanks for the critque!
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Its the sentiment of many isn't it? I liked it, it was different. It offers a certain perpective and deals with something we all have to face. No pun intended.It talks about something we don't see ourselves (unless looking at the mirror) and yet it can betray as so much. Cool work. It has a certain rawness and yet deliberate.
. Rewarded 4
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I like it
I like the part where it said,
My face did one good thing in it's life-
It spoke to my wife
Thankfully she stuck around
to get the inside story.
That is sweet.
Though there is one awkward part, it lines 7,8,9
Write on!
-blackbirdhunter. Rewarded 4
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Thanks for the comment.
That awkward part was awkward for me too - mainly because , like the rest of the poem -its true! I did intend it it be humorous rather than sentimental though. hope it gave you a chuckle and thanks for taking the time !
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hmmmmm
This is a great and a new write. I mean I ahve enver read like this before. I mean to say about the face. As I start the peice seems to be aobut humor, but at the end it gives a very intresting note, a deep stanza!
gr8 work! keep writing gud and better, I can't really digest this write!. Rewarded 4
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It's been a pleasure.
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nice
i enjoyed it.it is really nice..
keep delighting us -
windover
the more i'm around poetry the more i see the genious in simplicity. this is the real deal.
dave -
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Praise from Caesar - thanks Dave
No sarcasm intended - this review made my day. Winelover.
p.s. that's 'genius' - unless you're being subtle again ! Whatever . Later. W.
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good for you! lol
it's revealing too.
I like this. I think I can easily relate with lines 5-8 (grrr!)
A good read, as always.
Best regards,
Lynne. Rewarded 4
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Cheers Lynne !
Don't say you've got one of these as well !
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Subtle truths
It took a comment from another critic to make me go back and check out the rhyme-- It is so great when it hides! Final line of top verses, totally fitting punch-lines. Odd the power of the hidden!
Personally I almost never use a mirror. Not that it would scare me; no one faints as I enter a room, but I am glad to be behind it. What you say is true; it saves a lot of explaining when a face blabs it all without speaking, but be glad. You'd never make it as a con man! Those sociopaths are terminally charming.
As we age, I am convinced the face is a map of where we have been, and we wear the face we deserve. I had a neighbour with an impressive array of scowl-lines, enough to scare little children. He was a boss whose face has forgotten how to smile even though he has no malice in him and in retirement, is content.
"My face did one good thing in it’s life-"
That is good to hear, but I take issue with apostrophes when used with pronouns. "it's" means
it is, with the apostrophe replacing the i of is.
If you said, 'in his life,' also possessive, you'd not put in an apostrophe, right? No possessive pronoun has an apostrophe, but nouns do. If in doubt, check it out.
For everyone reading this: an up-to-date grammar text by Michael Swan, PRACTICAL ENGLISH USAGE published by Oxford, tells both UK and US versions of everything. That rule has not changed.
Terry. Rewarded 4
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What about the enjambment !
This was written long before you taught me what enjambment was - but I used it pretty good here don't you fink ? :-) lol ! I always have trouble with placing that apostrophe , usually inserting rather than omitting it. The fact that 'it' is not a proper noun yet can use the apostrophe on occasion is my excellent excuse for confusion. Anyway , why should I study grammar when it's patently YOUR job to correct me ? Anyway, glad it made you smile as well as scowl!
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Faces and masques....
I like the vision of this poem.I find the subject so well achieved and the way you putted in words as something surprising and singular.THe face, what it shows, what it hides:appearence and truth....the outside and the inside....the two sides of the moon....however we understand and treat the topic it seems to b e endless...
I like how you showed it this time ,from nine to twelve is the best...a face that just doesn t show who you really are...I am quite occuppied this days with this subject...the outside, the inside...the face, the body , things that obsesses posmodern society untill get us empty as a bone.The other thing, as you describe is the fact of being ourselves or being an impostor...sometimes the others see us so different than we feel, that could be a nightmare. Sometimes we see ourselves so different than we feel that is a real problem...
Nice topic to discuss, to write about and to think for a while....
I do like this poem.Take care.Ludmila607.. Rewarded 4
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Thanks Ludmila..
..hope it gave you a laugh as well! This one is more reality TV than creative writing. My face gets me in no end of trouble!
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March 1, 2006
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