Nature’s economy of design
like language- drawing a fine line
between one thing and another.
A tree-trunk –
or a nerve stem bending?
Snapping twig –
or tendrils mending?
A rising sun-
or beauty unending?
firing us – inspiring us
so that the hairs
on the back of our world
stand up!
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Comments?
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hey nice analogy, good work.. your poetry is becoming more refined, focused(not that it wasn't before). the words you use are carefully chosen, few and stil conveys your message clearly.
i like the tempo you created from lines 5 til.
this is a fine piece of work.
Thumbs up!!. Rewarded 4
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ah, so!
Seen with the eye of an artist-philosopher, this displays it for readers too. My only preference, only because I like to tuck in loose ends, would be to make
11so that the hairs on the back of our world
12stand up!
into
11 so that the hairs
12 on the back of our world
13 stand up!
Fine as it was.
Terry. Rewarded 4
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pretty good...
But I think you've examined everything to hard. You need too look at the bigger picture a bit more, instead of evaluating tiny little details. No offence meant of course. Just my opinion.
-Sasha xxx. Rewarded 4
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Thanks Sasha
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Thanks Sasha
But I'd give you an argument about that . Just an opinion ! -
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Lol
Well we all have an opinion.
Still a really nice poem. Check mine out, I'd love to see what you think...
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I like the way you evoke the image. The abstract feel of the poem is nice - especially the second stanza. I'm not so sure the first stanza is necessary though. Best, Maria
. Rewarded 4
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WONDERFUl
such a great idea, wonderful wording, beauty in the picture, this was a contest on allpoetry, you should have won.. Rewarded 4
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so sweet
i like it!
March 31, 2006
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