My palms are sweaty,
My eyes are red.
My heart skips a beat-it's the feeling I dread.
It's paranoia permanently in my head.
There are no means of escape.
It's turning me insane.
I'm not mentally capable of having this image in my mind.
It controls what I think.
It controls my life
Oh how I wish the end of this strife.
Every step that I take it is there.
When I turn around I see it's hair.
It wont leave me alone.
I can't eat.
I can't sleep.
Until it is relinquished I wont be set free.
The voice of it's laugh goes right through me.
I'm scared of it. I really am.
If I were to see it's face I would die of shock.
The stomping feet can be heard throughout the land.
If I were to walk near it it would crush me with it's enorm' feet.
The fake smile hides a deceitful nature.
It's job is to entertain children. but it scars them for life.
Crosses on it's eyes mark the crosses it makes in your life.
I've got my whole life ahead of me, why is it ruining it now?
Acting all happy and jolly is just a fix.
It's life is just as screwed up as everyone else's.
Until every clown is assassinated I wont be set free.
|
Comments?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
-
Wow
I had to read it a few times before I got the message, but I think it's the strongest poem I've read about clowns ever. There are a few things you could do to make the emotions you are trying to portray stronger. Line 3 I'd change to 'It's paranoia permanently in my head' and line 4 may need a better verb then 'get' like escape or run or something. Line 6 is confusing. I love the language, though the diction is incredible.. Rewarded 4
-
You know, I was all ready to scuttle away and laugh about this poem, because, quite honestly, I had very derisive thoughts about it. But then I read the last line, and I laughed at it and laughed at myself for judging so quickly.
I don't know if you intend it this way, but the over dramatic, fluffy verse is made all the funnier by the magnificent punchline. And even if you didn't, it still works. Maybe if you really want to push it, make it really histrionic (i.e. teenage angst poem histrionic), and you'll really have 'em rolling in the aisles. The joke is too hilarious for you not to work with this a bit...
Nice job, after all.
Cheers,
Yossarian. Rewarded 4
-
-
thankyou for your review. I put this poem on here expecting it to be totally slated, but so far I have had good reviews. This poem is not based on my own personal life, tis just something I felt like writing about. I had heard at the time Johnny Depp was afraid of clowns, so I wrote this piece.
-
-
Bravo : )
Today I meet someone who feels as I do. They scare me too. This poem is well written for when I reached line 17 I suddenly knew what you were talking about. This is a briliant write - and I think we will be shocked to find out how many people do not like clowns at all. Well done. Rosemary
PS - no improvements are required.. Rewarded 4
-
-
Thankyou for your lovely review. I honestly did not realise alot of people were scared of clowns.
-
-
Interesting Poem
This poem is great in expressing feelings hehe, i mean i am not afraid of clowns any more but i know many people who are and for someone to write a poem on it is excellent. Very creative i'm sure this would be a great it if you were to actually publish it some where like in a magazine hehe i could see many people enjoying it. Keep up the great work
Ashlee
P.S thanks for the comment on my site i appreciate it alot.. Rewarded 1
-
Are you scared of clowns? Interesting poem! I never really liked clowns either and I don’t really like clowns who try to do harm to people in the real sense. I am still working on the allpoetry site and I will try to post more poems and be more active on this site. I will comment on your poems when I get my school year over (I am a pottery teacher in America). Really I wanted to tell you that your comments on my poem were among the most helpful comments that I have gotten. I listened to them and made much progress. There Is another girl from GB on allpoetry (named pozo) who is also very helpful. You are both young but you are so smart, I can’t thank you enough for helping me. You give me hope for this world. Obviously you have faith in Christ and I respect this in people who really care about human beings. I care as well, I am not as faithful as you but I believe in the good of Jesus or the Buddhists who live compassionate lives. What we need is people who believe in compassion, love and understanding, Jesus certainly got this right and I love him for it.
. Rewarded 4
-
-
I am not scared of clowns at all. I wrote this poem because I had heard that Johnny Depp had a phobia of clowns.
He was my inspiration.
Henny.
-
-
strong
This poem holds many opprotunities, and yet you say that it is weak. It has a boldness to it which causes me to shudder at the thought of anything and everything you put into it. Holds much feeling, which many poets lack. Excellent style and tone. The last line about the clowns being assasinated really makes me feel the same.... are you afraid of clowns? That's what it seems, so am I. I never thought anyone could just put their feelings down like that. I would change line 7 to: it controls what I think, but that's just my suggestion.. Rewarded 4
-
Drama
Dramatic as the picture, this is a get real piece , fast racey then slows down ie emorm feet great, it sort of seems elephant hooved, and the crosses that symbolically represent many things. Yeh this is get real piece!
Some of seems away from the first person which I find clever and like I said your choice of words represent visual imaginings so that's good as well.
Line 25 is my favourite one.. Rewarded 1
-
-
Thankyou for taking the time to review my poetry. I have not been able to post any ore poems or come on here regulary becuase I am at school doing my A Levels, and revising hard for my exams.
-
-
I have to say, its rather a powerful poem. You seem to have a phobia of clowns. Or is it something deeper? Not about clowns but about a fake happiness that is presented to children, packaged as entertainment? A romanticised notion of life and an overtly rosy picture although there may be many nasty truths lurking all around?
. Rewarded 1
-
excellent
cheers,cheers,cheers,
hey this is amazing.like a story is being told and i am listening to it.reminded me of one old hindi movie"mera naam jokar" my name is joker.
i must say you have done a great job.
keep delighting us.. Rewarded 1
-
excellent
cheers,cheers,cheers,
hey this is amazing.like a story is being told and i am listening to it.reminded me of one old hindi movie"mera naam jokar" my name is joker.
i must say you have done a great job.
keep delighting us.. Rewarded 1
April 18, 2006
Edit | Reply