Dust

what if all the dust on earth were a scrap of paper on which to jot down a poem or two ? what would be written and who would be writing ? what manner of fighting might have made dust of us all ? what manner of pen might scratch among the fallen ? what ink marks the souls of men? the world smitten after all will need to be re-written. ashes to ashes dust to dust the poem seeks the poet in all of us .

Comments?

Reviews

• 
  April 21, 2006
  
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  Love it

  It's a very good metaphor, simple to understand, too. I like lines 12-13 along with the 3rd and last stanza.

  . Rewarded 4
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    Windhover
    April 24, 2006
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    Appreciated !

    Thanks Deeha - glad you liked it .
• maria
  April 24, 2006
  
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  Love the picure and really enjoyed the thoughts. What would be written ... made me stop to ponder on the usual impossible question: why do we write and who are we. Thanks for sharing this, Maria,

  . Rewarded 1
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    Windhover
    April 25, 2006
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    This is really your poem !

    Allow me to openly thank you again for inspiring this poem with the opening two lines which are vintage 'Maria' . Your idea , which pervades all your work , that we and the words are the same is a fascinating one and it is quintessentially poetic in itself . I dedicate this one to you !
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  Fortunes Fool
  April 25, 2006
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  Let's see

  Obviously the others know something that i don't b/c I see lots of points to critique. First of all, The constant questions do allow for a more personal experience for the reader, however there is no definite answer to even one of these, and leaving the reader hanging (although often a useful tool) is very hard to do correctly, as you did in lines 7 and 11 fairly well. This leads me to my next point. Is there supposed to be a form aof any kind? If so it needs serious work. If not then I won't waste any more of your time on this  subject. As far as this poem goes, I would expect a few revisions before it is truly a good poem, but if you do revise it I would be delighted to hear the finished product. After all what sense is it to stop when you're so nearly finished.

  . Rewarded 4
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    Windhover
    April 26, 2006
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    Thank You ..

    .. for your detailed and considered critique . I have to say by the end of it I wondered what part of the poem attracted you to doing such a critique since it was so obviously lacking in all the ingredients you apparently prize. You write  it's ' so nearly finished' but you tell me its not even begun. In reply to your question about form , I was not concerned with it here and the poem is very much a 'flow-of -consciousnes' affair , inspired by the interesting quote from the poet it was dedicated to. I apologize if this repoly reads a little tetchy - perhaps a response to the fact that your critique reads more than a little high-handed .But I did take the time to read 2 of your own poems . They are good work . I would be interested and honoured  to hear how you would improve this poem and I thank you again for taking the time to critique it . Best Wishes ,   W.
• 
  May 17, 2006
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  fortunes fool confused me

  i see no points of critique. lines 1-4 (though provided by another apparently) and 12-3 nearly made me squeal with delight. you took a thought and ran with it. i think this poem screams for ears and is one of the more posihed i've seen in my meager stay here at sharepoetry.com  

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  celestialpie
  May 18, 2006
  
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  I think this poem neatly addresses the concerns of individual mortality-- I think we've all wondered what we would do if we knew we only had a day left on earth.  In the case of a poet, what would you write if you had only a short time left?  
  You've put a fresh spin on it, by asking what might happen post-apocalypse.  In a way, instead of asking about last words, you're asking about first words.  I find this to be very Biblical, since the Bible began with the Word.   Was this intentional?  I love it.
  I must also respectfully disagree with Fortune's Fool.  Form follow function, after all, and I see no particular reason why this poem should have a set format.  Free verse is perfectly acceptable.  About the structure you have here, I really enjoy how you kept each line brief.  I found it to be much more poignant.

  . Rewarded 1
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    Windhover
    May 18, 2006
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    I owe this one to 'Maria'

    Thanks for the thoughtful and kind review ! I like this one a lot myself but I always feel a bit of a fraud when I get praise for it because the whole concept of the poem is in the opening lines - and I didn't write them. They belong to 'maria ', a  poet and regular contributor to this site . I was so impressed with them I asked her to let me use them as a 'key note' to inspire my writer's group.She very kindly agreed. This is what I came up with as a result. Maria blurs the lines between poetry and reality in a unique way that is all her own. Your interpretation is valid and worthy but it was not my intention to be biblical . It's maria's way of thinking that leaves so many possibilities open. You might like to try the excercise yourself and see what you come up with! Thanks again - glad you liked it.   W.
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      celestialpie
      May 18, 2006
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      Cool!  That;s the best thing about sites like this-- each person's creativity fuels that of others.  Thank you for sharing.