She's a poet
working with prisoners and junkies -
the marginalized .
Good guys most of them she says.
They just ‘ have their ways’.
You have to watch them .
They demand it.
Have to hand it to her-
she’s brave .
she recognizes
in these souls
something of her own.
Might they have
become her -
and she them
had things been different?
Was it gain they sought
when they shot up their veins
or the gas station?
Or the relief of pain –
the release of a flow
blocked
by an insane
society that extols
the virtue of squeezing
round pegs
into square holes.
Poles apart
she still
sees herself in these –
the dregs of society .
She brings them poetry
sowing and harvesting
from fertile fields .
Comments?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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A fertile mind
As always I enjoy reading your poetry very much.I am not of the calibre required to offer constructive criticism or any criticism at all.All I can say is that amongst the Large amounts of poetry available I will always look for anything written by you first.. Rewarded 4
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I blush Jay P!
Any writer who receives an accolade like yours and says he is not gratified is a liar and I thank you sincerely for it. I cannot wholly accept it of course especially the part where you question your own 'calibre' . That is a cardinal sin against the 'self' in my book and a 'must-not-do' for all people - but epecially artists. I urge you to always only speak (and more importantly WRITE) well of yourself .There are always only too many people who will push in the other direction. The subconscious is very important to writers and it pays more attention to what we say and write about ourselves than almost anything else. Trust me about this . Speak and write well of yourself ESPECIALLY when you don't believe it. I think you know I'm not talking 'brag' here.
Thanks to you this particular artist ( I nearly put that last word in 'apostrophes' but listened to myself and didn't !) is feeling particularly good about himself tonight ! Thanks again and be good to your 'self' . Regards W.
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Very good, very clear what you're getting at, nice use of language, the description of the person is just great.
One thing, I think, is the occasional word that seems a bit odd, for example in Line 16, the phrase "material gain" sounds just far too clinical and accountant-like.
Oh, and I really like the play on the word shoot, nice touch.. Rewarded 4
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Thanks for a great critique.
As you can see I adopted your suggestion and I liked the result - even went a little farther.Once again your comment is sharp and to the point . Much appreciated . W.
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Adore it
I think this poem is wonderful their are pointst that don't quite flow. Lines 17 to 19, just needs some punctuation changes, so it flows better. I would also enjoy, a little bit of a look at "her". To understand who she is better. Anyway I love this poem as always great work.
Little Crimson Jester -
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How's this Red ?
You of course had inside information here - but still had the wit to point out the obvious. She could have been a nurse , a social worker or anything . Hopefully now we know she's a poet it will work better. Good catch - thanks ! -
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Makes sense
Thank you it makes the poem more personal knowing who she is, what she does.
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For some reason, I absolutely love the "You have to watch them. They demand it." That just sticks out in my mind as so demonstrative.
I like the poem, and I really like this person. Whoever she is, I do have to hand it to her. Yet, as much as I admire this woman, I don't agree with LittleCrimsonJester. I like how elusive the woman seems, and I think in a way it makes her more likeable.
Well anyway, I enjoyed reading this.. Rewarded 4
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Hi Serenity - thanks for this
Funny you should pick that line - I like it too because it encompasses a lot of the thought that the poem's about. Had to accept Jester's point about 'her' mystery though. I never intended to make that a guessing game . The poem is about the 'relationship ' between crime/drugs and the creative muse so announcing the 'players' is quite important. -
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Haha well in that case, I must concede. But I liked it just the same!
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Mature and free
Your work is always mature and free. One can relax and just enjoy your poems knowing one will find treasures and not be jolted by some of the well-intentioned errors of the newer poets.(I've been reading a lot of poems this evening) I would love to meet the woman you describe she sounds like a brave and worthwhile human to share her work and herself in that way.. Rewarded 4
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Thank You so much.
Such a glowing endorsement is hugely gratifying and encouraging and the modest star rating returned is down to modesty forbidding otherwise rather than any sort of critical assessment of your comment! The lady in question , like many great people , considers herself a 'journeyman poet' who is hugely lucky to be able to work at what she loves. Her views on her pupils were expressed in the course of scholarly , rather than emotional discussion. And aren't ALL poets 'brave and worthwhile' ? (-: Thank you once again. W.
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good job
I like the poem. It has a good feel. I like the way you talk about "her". You make"her" seem very alive ans humanlike. The only thing I would consider changing the title. When I clicked on "fertile" I was expecting something about fertility. Unless that is sort of what you were aiming for.. Rewarded 4
May 30, 2006