I like the symphony
And heavy-metal rock.
I’ll shield from hurt
But also throw rocks.
I’ll bandage wounds
Or kick some ass.
I’ll let you by
But also pass.
I’ll lose my cool
Or act with class.
Wait a moment, I’ll change
When the moment’s passed.
I hate intensely
But I also love.
I’ll help along
But I also shove.
I am not one of all
Or one of another.
I’m who I am
As I came from my mother.
Love it or leave it
I still stand proud.
My foolishness shouts
O'er wisdom not loud.
As hard as I try
I am so often
In hypocrisy’s grasp
And asking a pardon.
What I am or am not
Is not important.
But for what I endeavor
Each day through the weather
Is what will determine
Where my life is heading.
I am expected
At no destination
Just to be on the road
In the right direction.
Comments?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Pretty much throughout this the rhythm is good, I wasn't too sure about line 11 but that was it. I think this poem illustrates something about the human mind very well, with all the contradictory statements but that there is a set journey which we are plundering along, I can't really explain what I'm saying very well as it's late
I got something quite interesting out of this and it caused me to think, and anything which does that is worth reading.. Rewarded 4
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Good point.
True; the "and" in line 11 does sound a little strange, doesn't it? I will remove it as it sounds much better that way. I very much appreciate the clarity of your supposed bleary-eyed statements. I guess you could say you can give good advice in your sleep. Thank-you.
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Clear, strong...
This poem is also very straight forward, clearly focused. What were you saying with line 24? I'm having a little glitch with the rhythm. The contrasting lines in the beginning are particularly strong, for me. Another reviewer commented about line 11. I don't see any problem with that line. Your poem sounds so natural, as if you are just conversing and yet you have rhyme. I like that ability a lot.. Rewarded 4
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Thank you very much.
As I appreciate your work a great deal your comments mean alot to me. You bring up a very good point with line 24. I share your sentiment and have edited this line accordingly. Please tell me what you think of it and what message you get from it now. I hope my intent is further clarified by this change. You know, many people spout off trite cliches like a comment mill. Your comments are fresh, brim with sincere intent, and always educate me in one way or another. I like that ability alot. Thanks.
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I hate intensely But I also love.
interesting line wouldn't you say so?
I like how you did this one...
the title grabed my attention and stole it
through out the entire poem! good job
Im just in shock of how much this poem relates to
just about everybody on this planet. spectacular job
on helping people understand the emotion of Hypocrisy.
Obviously you understand it well.
"I'll help along"
"But I also shove"
keep writting, im loving your subjects. Rewarded 4
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You're too kind.
Many thanks for the gracious eb ullience you ra diate upon my wor k with cornucopious ab unda nce. I am most flatter ed.
Tha nks a bunch,
SCO -
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picture of screamin
anytime, i like reading poems..only good one's
and nice picture you have up..interesting I tihnk it would be nice to see a poem of yours that would relate to it! -
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I wrote one.
It's called "Bury ME". Please tell me what you think. Thanks for the inspiration, I wrote it in response to this request.
-Sole
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Take me as I am or leave me be. Either suits me fine. You may think what I am saying is just me spouting foolishness over your wisdom but at least I am honest and attempt to mean what I say.
This is what I am getting from line 24 now. Is this what you intended. If not it may just be me. We all come from such different frames of reference it is a wonder we can communicate at all.
Eosmia -
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Quotation marks are a good thing.
At first glance I thought I had offended you until the bottom paragraph.
You make a good point. It is however a skewed variation of my intent, however much I liked it. My intent was to say that often times my wisdom is shouted down by my foolishness, however present it may be. Just to say that we can be fools and wise all in the same package. The point is to realize that we all are walking hypocrisy's and to tone down critical rhetoric. I love Jesus' words in reference to this thought "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." This poem is about realizing that we are all the same in our capacity for good or bad given the right circumstance. Perhaps this is why we shall be judged by the thoughts and intents of our hearts. Circumstance reveals true character that lies hidden in silenced thoughts and desires.
I am glad that we can communicate at all.
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HOOOWEE
WOW! DAMN STRAIGHT!!! lol this was a very strong poem... Your pride is evadent in this poem! my favorite lines (theres lots lol) would have to be...
I’ll bandage wounds
Or kick some ass.
I’ll let you by
But also pass.
That hit me with a chill up my spine... I was just like WOW, this person aint kidding! Thats a good impression to give when your reading poetry and definately not something that comes off of every poem! i like the ego, strenght, pride, and power of this poem! definately would make some one think twice before messin with you!
NICE POEM.... scratch that... BADASS POEM
~NATASHA~. Rewarded 4
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That's funny....
Because I was going for something to balance out that impression. I was just trying to say that a hard person is not hard all the time, and that a soft person is not soft all the time. People are so complex and varied, yet we all fall prey to categorization and try to stick our round pegs into square holes by fitting a particular stereotype. My intention here was to state that I prefer kindness, but that I can be unkind in refuting lack of the same from others. So often people assume that kindness goes hand in hand with taking abuse from others. I believe quite the contrary. When we allow others to be unkind without voicing or expressing opposition it is most unkind to allow the offender to believe his behavior is allowable, or worse, acceptable. Such laissez faire attitude only results in further unkindness: 1. that we ourselves accept and invite further damage by our poor self-image brought about by such unkindness; 2. the offender never changes and is condemned to an eternity of being an asshole.
I was just trying to say that meanness and kindness are not "either,or" attitudes. These two attributes are a balancing act, each attribute at opposite ends of a teeter totter. Both must move in and out from center in tandem, all in response to what a particular situation requires.
My apologies for the long response, I just feel very strongly about the subject and wanted to make myself clear. I always endeavor to do the right thing, but tire of weak-hearted indivuals touting me as a hypocrit for not taking abuse gladly without striking back. We are meant to stand tall. We cannot attain this stature when cowering under the cannonade of the unkind.
Thanks for your comment, a very good one that made me think and respond thus.
Thank you,
Sole
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VERY POWERFULLY SAID !!!
Alright ... this is like so ruff and tuff . Nice done and said .
Its really as natasha said BADASS !!!
Welldone and keep writing .
~~~Abhi~~~
. Rewarded 4
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You're too kind.
I have been amused at this most recent vein of comments, the "bad-ass" vein. This was not at all my intent. I was trying to exhibit a softer side but the bad-ass side seems to be getting all the press. No matter. You enjoyed it and shared with me some very nice comments. For that I thank you.
Sole
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need i add praise? but let me say that this poem has wrapped in 38 lines the life we lead...the society that boxes people to be either one or another. Often i feel that the world wants things to be one or the other, the hard-rock listening person has no God, the smart girl has no problems and all that straight cut divisions between things....girls wear pink and boys where blue....the dichotomy of human existence takes away the concept of human uniqueness....
this is a break out of that mold and i can actually here it. the rhythm is good, words well fit the whole rhythm of the poem...
i often find myself in a situation where people want me to explain myself why i am what i am and if i could i would have borrowed your words...
"I am expected
At no destination
Just to be on the road
In the right direction."
really good straightforward, powerful poem.
. Rewarded 4
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I am very flattered by your kind words. Thank you very much.-Sole
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Very strong poem. But the flow seems... ummm... broken, if i may say so. Line 13 to 18, should come before line 11, contextually. Removing lines 11 and 12 might help, but thats too good a couplet to be left out. Again line 21 to 24 seem out of place.
In any case, i reiterate... its one STRONG poem. And captures very accurately how everyone behaves everyday. Moral of the story is seeing a person shove someone should not cause us to form judgements that that person is incapable of love.
Lastly... the poem has one of the best endings i have read.... Infact, i am taking a printout of those words and putting it up in my cubicle with due credit given to you. Loved the ending.
Cheers. -
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Of the comments I have received, this by far is the most flattering. You posted my work in your cubicle?....I feel very honored that you would deem my work worthy of such oft consideration and it gives hope to me that by some strange fluke my words may give the same to others. I'm really very flattered and so very pleased that you enjoyed my work so fully. I can't tell you how touched I am that my work is hanging in your workspace. Thank-you, and more importantly, thank-you for sharing with me your thoughts. I really appreciate it.-Sole
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Neat and wise.
Sole, I'm glad you're featuring this poem, or I might not have seen it. I like it. I like its disciplined format, its natural rhymes and its two-beat lines throughout. Those technical elements feel just right to me for a poem of brief thoughts -- but brief thoughts that have a pleasing unity. And all those carefully wrought technical things help the meaning of the poem come through clearly and strongly for me.
As for the meaning, I'm with you all the way. I've been troubled most of my adult life by our nasty human tendency to box people into safe and secure categories, so we don't have to deal with the complexities which every one of us contains, often at the same time, as you neatly say in your poem. I definitely sense, in the poem, your being troubled by that same thoughtlessness that hurts people by being so shallow, and can often ignorantly praise people for the wrong reasons -- and then expect them to act in that box all the time.
Your poem is very, very mature. Of course, I don't know your age, but whatever it is, the poem speaks to me of a hard-won wisdom. You've been dismissed as being only one type of person, and you've been accepted as being only another type of person. I've felt that too, and your fine poem brought all those feelings back of being misunderstood (and, to be honest, I've wrongly boxed people into misjudged categories myself). And I like the way you stand up for courageously stopping and correcting false judgments others can so cavalierly make about yourself or others.
Great lines for me, among many others: 31-34: very wise. I sense this in those lines: it's the innumberable small details of life, all the little choices we make, not so much the grand choices, that add up to who we are at the center of ourselves. I like Jesus' remark: If you are faithful in small things, you will be faithful in larger things. Your lines reflect that wisdom in contemporary language. Good writing.
Your poem made me probe the meaning of "who we are at the very center." Your take on that may be different, but for me I see the "center" of us as that inner still place of peaceful acceptance of our uniqueness, as we came out from our mother, as your poem says. For me, getting to that still place has been a lifetime of trying, and I just might get there while I'm still above ground! Hope so. Those lines also reminded me of the Buddha's description of the "still center" -- it's like, he says, being a lit candle in a niche where no wind, no matter how powerful, can blow and disturb it.
Really good writing, Sole. Fine, thoughtful and deep poem. I have only the most minor of suggestions, which would be entirely up to you to accept or not -- it's your poem, not mine!: in line 24, that "o'er" seems to stick out as a 19th-century choice of word in a poem that is so refreshingly contemporary in its flow and diction. I wonder if just the simple "over" would do the job? As I say, that's a mere quibble. For me, the entire poem is excellent in technique and meaning, and I sense a poet behind it who's unafraid to bring up one of his/her many "selfs" as a circumstance needs it. You remind of me Walt Whitman's great line: "I contain multitudes." Thanks for this poem!
Lad
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What a wonderful comment you made. You appear to me to be rather self possessed and in full command of who and what you are. I particularly enjoyed your comment as there shines abundantly in your words an apparent understanding of what it means to be happy with "you" as you are. Truly, that is peace and it would seem that you have found it. I really enjoy people who are at peace with who they are. Genuine, unabashed character is like gold to me. Thank you for commenting on my work and sharing so generously with me your own insights. Thank you very much.-Sole
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You hit home Sole!
Another deep and powerful poem Sole. It seems to indicate who we are in the moment and who we are becoming. Plus the pressure from others of what they expect us to be. The poem flows beautifully. And the reader is easily swept away in the poem. It is truly entrancing and easy to read since it has a very nice rhythm to it.
“ In hypocrisy’s grasp
And asking a pardon.
What I am or am not
Is not important.”
My absolute favorite lines, always people trying to turn us into numbers so they can coldly calculate us like another statistic. We are human! Unique individuals, (just like everybody else of course) but unique none the less!
Your poem explains this very well, Thanks again. A true joy to read.
Cheers!
Bill
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I enjoyed your comments, Bill. Mostly because you very apparently caught the essence of the message in most every respect and appear to fully understand the drive behind this work. Thanks for understanding the purpose and meaning behind my words and investing the time to tell me so. Thanks Bill.-Sole
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this poem is very rich with content, and I'll give some advice that someone else gave me on here: don't be a slave to rhyme. you pulled it off quite nicely here, but if you feel the need to insert something that doesn't quite fit, do it anyway. The abrasiveness will turn heads.
but that is in no way a negative. this poem flows nicely, and I enjoyed it very much. Keep on truckin. -
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I think to rhyme is sublime,
a challenge it is too,
to write a word not just in herds
but to give sound its due.
To catch the match is the fourth dimension
and also did I fail to mention
that rhyming words is fun,
just think how Scrabble is done…
The fun is finding the perfect word
to fit the space front and back I've heard,
both up and down to catch the piece,
it's sound and round about to fleece
it with unrepetetive repetition.
That is the rhyming words mission;
the sound to drive the point you make home
to give the sound of the former to the latter words' own.
Slave you say and perhaps it is so.
But in time I've come to know
a strange satisfaction in engendering reaction
by this slavery with dual action.
It's fun and repeats in a way that completes
the thought in the head that is fun instead.
Well done it is marvelous
Would you tell Poe not to do as thus?
There are those who rhyme and those who don't
Pablo Neruda non rhymer's may flaunt
and surely there's a space to non-rhyming place…
But for me I like the challenge
and the fun in matching melange
of the words I choose...
and to miss the match...
I lose.
But thank you Mr. Backwards…It is a slavery I most enjoy.-Sole
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I can't say much anybody else hasn't already. It was great; the content was clear, I know what you mean, hell I almost felt like I could see you. So maybe the rhythm is not totally perfect, but there's enough of it there so that the stuff that isn't spot on doesn't matter. It all seems very intentional (as I'm sure it was). I think the "imperfection" (for lack of a better word) of the rhyming lends itself to the poem...it's traveling hypocrisy, after all. Nice
Nienna -
I bet you are an Aquarius.
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No,
I am not.
Why ever would you ascertain me to be an Aquarius?-Sole
p.s. by the way, what did I win in this bet?
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No bet- just a guess. I am an Aquarius and i related to your poem a lot. Feeling like i am one way one minute and another way the next, but content. I don't know, that is just how i percieve your poem. No negative judgement, i enjoyed it.
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I read you loud and clear. Thanks for sharing a piece of you with me.-Sole
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Hmmm....
The use of figurative language is very frank and down to earth. I like how casual it comes off. Pretty good, though I'd definitely think about utilizing stanzas to better organize each thought.
aestheticache
June 17, 2006