three hundred people stuck
in the same place
going one way
the same way
in a tin can
technical achievement
man's prowess
confers freedom-
and stress
deadlines
the need to make
connections
missing the important ones
as they go
no
time to smile
move along
in a single , orderly file
hello
a thing of the past
just get us there
fast
hassled faces on the plane
scowl and look away
or daggers
at the latecomers
'there's always one '
they say
but a kindly steward
welcomes them
to their seats
spares them the reassurance
of 'that's okay'
just brings them some water
makes sure they know
he really wants them
to have a nice day
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Comments?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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A worthy subject-- as always, I am pleased to see people write about something other than the usual poetry topics (love and death). I like the irony of the opening stanza, "man's prowess." I also like how the short lines, (in some cases, a single word), not only look like a long, winding line but also illustrate the abbreviated communications we have with each other-- no time even to say hello, we just bark out demands. Well done.
. Rewarded 4
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Pie on the sky!
Well, on air travel at least.Glad you liked it . I was surprised to find it quite heartfelt as I wrote it on a transatlantic flight. Professional kindness can make a real difference - like simple good manners. Scratch the surface and I'm amazed how often you find a genuinely nice person.Hope the poem conveyed that. Thanks again.W.
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nice tribute!
but somehow in the middle of the poem i was looking for two strangers-eyes meeting-wondering if they'll ever cross each other's paths again thingy, lol!...now im disappointed!!!!! hahaha
ok, ok. this may not be your usual thought provoking style but its something new and refreshing. i like it nonetheless.
but of course, that goes without saying...
c ya
Lynne
. Rewarded 4
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You're just an old romantic at heart ! I wonder did lines 10-13 put that idea in your head or do you just read too many romance novels ? lol ! I wrote a romantic ( well sort of ) short story once. It's called 'Control' and you'll find it on 'Storywrite' . It'll only take 20 minutes and I'm told it's a 'page turner'.Maybe you'd let me know what you think.Thanks for the comment and your support as usual Lynne ! xx W.
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Bueatiful
This poem really strikes me, people are so fake and self absorbed thatwe forget other people have feelings. A simple smile and a hello can make someones day but weno longer extend that happiness. You capture that wonderfully here. Thats all I have to say wish I could say more.. Rewarded 4
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Hi Red ! Thanks for the feedback as always.Sometimes it's more about the message than anything else and its nice to know others 'get' it .
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Opposite ends of the scale
This poem has a nice progression of thought. You lead the reader through the mechanical to the humane - setting the mechanical world and humane world in sharp relief to one another. I also like the idea that the "tin can" is a creation of mankind. As are the schedules and deadlines all man's creations. Also you reveal that by the "scowls" and "hassled faces" most people buy into this artificial world. The choice to be different is also humane - the choice to demonstrate kindness to create for another "a nice day".
Are you speaking of one latecomer or several? Line 3? English makes this an awkward choice. Because then in line 36 to whom does the "he" refer?. Rewarded 4
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Hi eosmia and thanks for this very considerate review. I think you give me a little too much credit here but hey ! The latecomers are several ( my family ! ) and 'he' in line 36 refers back to 'the kindly steward 'in line 29 . The 'one' in line three is a ticket description , not a count , though I can see where line 27(reported statement of an old addage) might have muddied the waters here. Hope that clears up things a little - but you seem to have got my message pretty clear anyway. Glad you liked it and glad you told me ! Thanks again . W.
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simple pleasures
First off... I wanted to tell you how much i enojoyed this poem. These days poetry is mostly complex thought, and the more complex it is with the more bigger words, the more people enjoy it.. but this was definately a simple pleasure. You wrote about something alot of people look over and dont realize this. Good perspective and good thought! the only thing i would suggest is checking the spelling on the word "prowess". Other than that i enjoyed the simplisity of this poem! thanks for sharing !!
~NATASHA~. Rewarded 4
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My Pleasure
Thanks Natasha , glad you enjoyed it. I know what you mean about big words. They do have a place, if they're musical or more succinct or simply unavoidable. But anyone who uses them just because he/she CAN needs to think again. Poems are about using words to evoke feeling I think , not to impress people. On the technical front I checked out 'prowess'. It's ok. Can't resist pointing out 'definately' and 'simplisity' in your comment ! Haven't got any smileys but consider one sent! Thanks again. xx >W< -
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OOh, i thought it was suppose to be powerless. Thats the only reaason i pointed it out! I know im a bad speller lol, it shows in my poems, but some day ill master it lol! Hope life treats yah good!
~NaTaSha~
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Nice poem.
Makes me think. Kind of a narrative on human nature. I think the airport is an excellent place to collect and condense emotion for poetic endeavor. The air is filled with a multiplicity of feeling and emotion, it almost hums with the power of human emotion. I would rework the title though.
Sole. Rewarded 4
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Thanks Sole. I suppose there's no end to the sources of poetic inspiration really , though I must say I won't be visiting my local airport in that cause too often! If it grabs you - write it! That's what I did here. I like the title because so many people ( American mostly I'm afraid) used that phrase without any sincerity or real concept of its meaning during a rather harrowing journey. The people who had some real empathy towards the (common) problems of a few (common) travellers said nothing at all really. But they made a real difference with just a tiny bit of concern/kindness. So I guess its tongue-in-cheek. What's with your graphic - it's pretty scary !
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celestialpie
June 27, 2006