On a Monday,
Not so long ago,
The world was blown
to perdition.
Oddly enough
Nobody noticed.
We had all been dead for
- so long,
Desolation did not seem
To make much difference
When Armageddon finally happened.
The following Tuesday
Business was a bit more chaotic
- than usual.
On Wednesday
A little less so
By Thursday
Activity was normal.
Friday-
Peace/war talks were resuming.
On Saturday,
As was becoming habitual,
A threat of a repeat performance
Was imminent.
Only nobody really
- cared much anymore.
Sunday after church
Seventeen countries simultaneously
Declared war,
This brought us to another Monday.
Bloody, boring Mondays.
Comments?
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Status quo?
Ho hum another bloody Monday.
Why is that starting to sound so familiar? I am hard pressed to remember if there has ever been a period or time no one was fighting anyone somewhere on the globe. Major wars have gaps between, but whole lifetimes have been lived with no break at all where tribal conflict prevails. Where human lives are cheap laissez faire becomes the norm.
That is happening now--it only matters which lives, as if some are like flies to be swatted, while families of own casualties populate daily newscasts. Hundreds of them, two of ours by name. We are perilously close to what you describe. It is uacceptable!
Science fiction you say. Sometimes truth and fiction overlap.
Technically, repeating the days of the week worked very well. I found no changes I would make.
Ding ding! Here's your change!
Bravo!
Terry
. Rewarded 4
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Hello Terry: I hope this finds you much better. I am very sorry about not replying sooner but I had to go back to work and finding myself a little overwhelmed. Isn't it amazing that we haven't learned from the experiences of the past?
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Excellent...
I fall prey to my dislike of continual glad-handing here but what can I say? I just love your work. So very unique, and clear to read and understand. Always logical, well-considered and structured. And always a valuable thought or thoughts to impart.
I loved this because it screams a gentle song for everyone to get the Hell up and look at the world around them. To look past self-absorption and spending every dime before next payday. People today have no social conscience until it affects them. I too am guilty of this and have to remind myself from time to time to remember my countrymen that right now are dying in service of their country right along with the unfortunate citizens of the countries in which they presently serve. We all have become so complacent that it makes me sick, and even more so of myself.
This was great Eosmia,
Al
P.S. More people need to see your work.. Rewarded 4
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Thank you so very much. I am so sorry that I have not responded sooner. New job, time crunch. This poem was written 30 years ago and I am so sorry to say that nothing has changed.
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Yes
I agree with the last comment, Mondays are what you make of them though, I went to a church for the first time in years, everything Angelic and stuff then Monday morning came and guess what I woke up feeling pap. It was a good day though thanks to the weatherman on the radio. -
Bakwaaas
how stupid?
whst was science fiction in this??? Utter rubbish...
no expressions...meaningless -
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Thank you for your astute and insightful comment. The rest of my poetry is similar so please save yourself any further upset and refrain from reading it as it isn't your taste, obviously.
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Sorry
I know nothing about poetry.. I was just trying to control my anger.. don't worry I won't give any more pain... I will give up poetry.. Its not my field.. my field is art, making potraits..maybe that way I can express myself better.
But please don't blame my parents.. they know nothing about this and I am just an insane 16 year old girl.Sorry for those hurtful comments.I will remove my poetry from today...best of luck for your future!!
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No critique, just a comment-- this is a terrific piece. I'm a sucker for apocalypse-scenario stories, so this was right up my alley. It reminds me of that saying, "What if we had a war, and no one came?"
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Wry and angry, very accessible too
I seem to be having some trouble with this comment thing, let's try again.
I like this very much - shows wit and weight. I particularly like the way the images of the week regaining its awful entropy are so economically drawn. And your line "Sunday, after church", and its apocalyptic aftermath are a neat combination. The anger your narrator/you feel is contained but bubbles under the surface - well done. -
Mature, and very accessible
. Rewarded 6
August 1, 2006