-
I know everyone says there is no such thing as perfect but in my eyes I feel like I found him but the worse part is I have like this thing wrong with me and I push people away well don't I go be stupid make up a lame reason to dump him….Any ideas what I should do???
-
i say....
its quite a difficult situation, but u gotta learn to correct it. one step at a time. i know this for a fact coz ive been like this before. i realized it wasnt doing me any good so i tried my best to correct it. am still in the process of correcting it but i think im better now.
first start with loving urself. usually one reason why we push ppol away is because we think we dont deserve to be loved and we hate it if it ends that way, so natural reaction is to push them away while they still havent said anything (that we fear might hurt us).
then, dont be afraid for love to come in or dont anticipate that it might not work. while ur at it, get the most out of the situation, enjoy the moment and learn the lessons. it isnt always easy, but its worth the effort. i picked this favorite line from a book: "Whoever comes is the right people, whatever happens is the only thing that could have. Whenever it starts is the right time. when its over, its over!"....(think about it
)it also helps to be open. it is never easy to talk about feelings but its better talked about than concealed. not all of us can read between the lines.
stop looking for excuses. its either u like him or not. BE HONEST – to yourself and your partner. thats what matters in the end.
cheers and best regards – lynne
-
-
well, you've said it all im gonna try and follow your advice to see where it gets
-
-
I also push people away. I find that I want to give them room, time. I feel insecure, believing that perhaps I'm overbearing, forcing my presence onto them. So I give them space, I back away. Usually my standoffishness has the obvious effect of making them think that I want to be alone, so I'm given space, which confirms my belief that I was too…arg.
It's a vicious cycle.
I've no idea if this is what is going on with you…of so, then I would say "be selfish!"
If you like the person, be with the person; don't push them away.
-
i'm the same way and it is so friggen irritating. i'm starting to see the counselor about it. not only do i sometimes push him away i'm abusive. if u really think he is mr. right, mr.perfect, then try anything and everything it takes to keep him. i've found mr perfect and i'm trying really hard to keep him.
-
We tend to try and save those we love the most.
Maybe you have finally found Mr Perfect, and now, you want to keep him safe and thats why you're pushing him away.
Sadly you've got to be able to admit this to yourself before you can try and do anything about it.
Once you have, you'll probably be able to overcome the problem and see that theres nothing wrong with having a healthy relationship and distance with the guy.
If he is truely Mr Perfect for you, as you reckon he is, he will accept you for who you are.
Of course, sadly, there is the chance he isn't the one, in which this shows your insticts are trying to warn you.
Let me know how it goes, and all the best,
sky xxx -
the bad thing for me is that i pull people in that dont want to be pulled in
-
whats wrong?
you gota secret problem with ya and he dont know..............but i d
better tell him
-
you have no clue. that is rough. i also had found someone that i thought was perfect and i didnt appriciate him enough and ended up pushing him away and now he is gone and i can never have him back. he told me all this himself
| |||||||
Adding your reply:
Nov 23 4:45 PM 2005
Reply