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What happens after the fact?
This guy I always thought was an a-hole dropped out of school. I had no idea where he went and didn't really care. I started hanging out with some of my acquaintances more, becoming better friends with them. One day I went over to my friend Shawn's house and he was there. No big deal, I just avoided him. Anyway, he was nice to me! I hung out like every weekend, all weekend with them. Eventually he told me he liked me (which was great cos I thought he was pretty) I told him I liked him to. We eventually ended up doing stuff... a lot. Something I regret. I thought I loved him, that was the only reason I did any of it. Anyway, one night my stepdad talked to him (without telling me) about safe sex and he just up and left. I haven't seen him since, and that was in October. This arse was the reason I dropped out of school! I wanted to spend more time with him, he didn't even care. I went back, but still. So, my friend told me that he was "cheating" on me while we were still "doing things". It wasn't really cheating because we were never "boyfriend-girlfriend"... he always made a point to say that there was nothing going on with us to other people. And as if that didn't hurt enough, the next day my friend told me that the other person he was with was his girlfriend and they were going out again. He even had her when we were doing things. He hasn't come by (which is weird because he was always over) and he hasn't called. My "friends" (except for two) don't even look at me or talk to me anymore.
So... what now? I hardly cry about it anymore, but I almost killed myself over that idiot. Luckily I didn't succeed, he's not worth it. But what am I supposed to do with this abandoned, dirty, and used feeling that creeps around with me all the time?
I mean, this has happened to me twice and my one and only legit relationship was in 10th grade, two weeks and emotionally crippling. How do I know if there is or isn't hope? All my friends, every one of them, has a girlfriend or a boyfriend... and I'm always the one...just one.
I know I sound pathetic, but I'm honestly wondering if every relationship for me is going to be this way? Maybe I should just get used to being used. I don't know. -
I had the exact same problem with this guy I used to go out with. Now he can't talk to me at all. He is an arse. I'm getting used to being used, too. I now hang with the Football Team, and anyone that even thinks about doing that to me gets their butts kicked...
*tear* I hope you feel better.
AJ -
you are not alone
Trust me there is somebody out there for you and you are not meant to be in a destructive relationship b/c there are guys that have this done to them and there are girls that have this done to them. So eventually you willl meet a guy who has had something like this done to him and he wouldn't even think twice about hurting you physically and would never hurt you intentionally emotionally like denying in public that you two are an item. The boy you speak of will always be a boy until he learns that what he did was lower than low. it's alright if he wants to fuck up his own life but he shouldn't drag another down with him, and he definately shouldn't be doing these things without remorse. Trust me, he does this b/c there is a hole in him that is bigger than yours b/c it took you, his other gf and god knows how many other people and things he used to get himself through the day or just a little further ahead. You only needed him to be happy. You are the fortunate one, not him, I'm going through a rough time right now myself b/c of a break up that happened 4 almost 5 months ago and it didnt hit me until just now when I said that you were the lucky one b/c of the hole in him that he needs to fill to be happy, I just realized that I had a smaller hole as well and that I am also the one who is better off. Thank you for helping me see that LoL. A pure example of how a good deed does good and that talking or trying to help somebody can also in return help yourself. Marvelous. Hope to hear from ya soon and read some of your poetry.
Cheer Up, Tomorrow's another day.
TTYL
MM -
It'll work out
At one time in my life I had the same problem. In fact, this same guy that hurt me time and time again is now my fiance. You see, when you love someone so much and for so long, there comes a time of when you can't help but love them no matter what. I guess I'm just saying that things always work out and always follow your heart. But my advice, if it's hurting you that he's disappeared, don't completely hide it. Write about it, talk to your friends, follow your heart, but don't, I repeat, don't, bottle everything up inside and try to forget about it.
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Aimee Mahathy
Jan 28 3:23 PM
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