A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
-Paul Valery
-Paul Valery
- Last seen right now. Member since December 21, 2005.
- I am a woman from Missouri (United States)
- I support the site as a gold member
- I have 966 comments, 15 archived poems
My Poetry
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The quartet musicians: I marvel at their sync. / Small meetings of eyes crossing chasms of collaboration, / the violent workings of their e
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477 words, 12 comments, September 21. In Adult, Contemporary, Free verse, Humor, Life, Personal, Society
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I am the shadows of the forest constantly on the prowl through the undergrowth / at any moment, I will break into a clearing. / Eternal twi
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I step out of the blue-gray world of the office / To the yellow-gray world of August smog. / Greedy for my hour, begrudgingly-bestowed / My369 words, 7 comments, September 8. In Angst, Contemporary, Free verse, Life, Rant, Society, Thoughts
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on I Masturbated at Work for the First Time Today by celestialpie, on September 22Hi, Dr. T. First and foremost, welcome to Sharepo, and thank you for reading. I appreciate your straightforwardness, now I hope you'll allow me to be equally straightforward when I say I think you have missed the point of this poem entirely. The passion and emotion so noticeably absent from this piece was quite intentional. The workplace is such a stifling atmosphere that even an erotic act is drained of all sensation and inspiration. It didn't seem a pleasurable event because it WASN'T a pleasurable event. In the very first lines, I state that it was done purely out of curiosity-- detached, scientific, theoretical.
I am glad you perceived that choosing a location was the highlight of the piece-- that was also intentional. Focusing on the logistics of the event underscored my point that I was conducting an experiment.
I DID let the reader know what it felt like-- it felt like nothing. Describing my inability to feel, my inability to fantasize, was (I thought) a thinly veiled send-up of the office atmosphere. The lack of climax was the ultimate point, the way unsatisfying sexual experience is.
When you say re-write and re-submit, perhaps you also misunderstand the point of this site. This is a workshop, entirely meant for improving work, posting drafts, and exploring poetic forms and subjects. No one is judging work here-- there are no contests, no hope for publication. This is a place of learning and interaction for people with common interests.
I would recommend you read a little more closely before you take a high-handed approach next time. I would also suggest reading more in general. While we are, by and large, amateurs here, (I know very few professional poets-- do you?) we are not completely inexperienced.
-CP


Anyway, all the cleanliness, between the kids and the Catholics, makes me contrary. The people at both institutions are so uptight, they send me screaming every night for the leather and handcuffs.
As to your suggestion-- of course, you read my mind. This morning, after some very lurid dreams, I have quite a few details that I could toss in.
You will be among the first to know when I have a second draft. And I can't wait for you to whip out a piece yourself.
I think we've really mastered the single-entendre here.
Yours, as always,
The Queen of Tarts