Curiosity and Confusion

I'm sure this could be a lively discussion if everyone would have a look, please, come in, throw me to the ropes, kick my ideas in the stomach. If I'm broken in the process, well, the devil's cure to me.

Rather than instruct or lecture what I would like to do in this column is throw a question out into the abyss and hope someone tosses back an answer.

So...

Why is it, that on a "critical" poetry site, when there is a more social poetry site, just next door, so to speak, do people post poems and then become vicious in response to criticism?

I've read comments where the commenter is having to turn verbal somersaults in an attempt to express an opinion/give help (which is SUPPOSEDLY the purpose of this site) because the poem's author will lose it if they scent a hint of... WHAT?... no, wait, let the irony sink in... CRITICISM.

Personally, I find this disturbing. I know writing is personal, I know how criticism can hurt and I'm certainly not saying we should throw tact and compassion out the window. However, do we really want sharepoetry to turn into a place where we all tiptoe around each-other, saying we like poems we find offensive or inferior, simply to avoid being berated, insulted, or harassed by authors who should know better? Do we want the height of poetic criticism to be "nice job"? Must we revert to "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all" ? Am I the only one here who feels that is just a tiny bit defeatist?

How can we hope to improve when everyone is too afraid to be honest? Are we really so unconfident, so thin skinned that we can only accept praise?

I respect people who admit they don't want criticism, that's their prerogative. At the same time, I simply do not understand the mentality that when asking for criticism (which as far as I can see posting on a CRITICAL poetry site is tantamount to) a person is affronted and enraged to actually receive it.

If someone could possibly explain the psychology of this to me I think that that would be of some comfort.

At the moment the only reason I can deduce for such irrational behavior is that the person is deep deep in the muck of self-delusion and has fabricated a complicated way of raising their own injured feelings of worth. Could such self deception really be possible? And if by some chance I'm right, are the rest of you really willing to be party to the chicanery?

Perhaps I have gone on too long, but I am a selfish being and I would hate for there to be nowhere to go to get opinions or advice regarding my work, I would hate to feel that I hadn't earned the compliments I did get, or that they were lies.

Perhaps someone can justify this behavior to me, make me understand that it is better to lie and be lied to so long as no one's feelings get bruised. Please I'm listening, convince me.