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  • CinfullyDelicious : Welcome to share poetry chicagotrain :) on January 13
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  • on The river Lethe by RoisinDubh, on May 28
    I love the title and the intro. I also like how the river of forgetting is likened to a stream of piss. There's a tension here between the classical and sublime on the one hand and the contemporary and profane on the other.
    The language feels very natural and conversational. That's why it's surprising to hear you say "Remember,you, those days?" this sounds very colloquial.
    Perhaps the middle gets a little cliche-- how time has shaped/ what we've become." I like rich in wit as in coin" but wonder if you were rich as a child.

    I like the end as it brings us back to the theme of forgetting/remembering. (our face should be our faces).

    . Rewarded 8

  • I've seen your very critical comments on other people's work though it was very difficult to make out what you were saying due to the incredibly bad grammar.

    I have to agree with Dave Ochs, that given this kind of work you have no right to tear down other people's work.

    This poem is Hallmark crap and please, please cut the text message language (i.e. ur, r)

    . Rewarded 8