- Last seen 3 hours ago. Member since January 10.
- I am a man from Massachusetts (United States)
- I have 17 comments, 20 archived poems
My Poetry
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198 words, 2 comments, May 28. In Contemporary, Pantoum
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71 words, May 22
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- Interns (after hours) at allpoetry
Every intern has a special relationship With his cadaver. - Traffic Report for a Snowy Day at allpoetry
All night—the radio fuzzed winter storms So you woke to see street-side trees shivering - emptiness after a snowstorm at allpoetry
while you slept the radio hushed
Guestbook
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CinfullyDelicious : Welcome to share poetry chicagotrain :) on January 13Hello chicagotrain,
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Comments
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on Night and the dreams by Cactus, on May 28I've seen your very critical comments on other people's work though it was very difficult to make out what you were saying due to the incredibly bad grammar.
I have to agree with Dave Ochs, that given this kind of work you have no right to tear down other people's work.
This poem is Hallmark crap and please, please cut the text message language (i.e. ur, r). Rewarded 8


The language feels very natural and conversational. That's why it's surprising to hear you say "Remember,you, those days?" this sounds very colloquial.
Perhaps the middle gets a little cliche-- how time has shaped/ what we've become." I like rich in wit as in coin" but wonder if you were rich as a child.
I like the end as it brings us back to the theme of forgetting/remembering. (our face should be our faces).