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Greenewhiplash

My other items

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  • Your Soul Was a Clearence Item at allpoetry
    Your soul is a
    store-bought metaphor
    quivering atop your diaphragm
  • Shields of Stripes and Plaids at allpoetry
    In a row of stone buildings
    it is linen we choose to shield us from the storm
  • The Wreckage at allpoetry
    I chose to lay here in this empty space to experience the lack of you, exposing every follicle and fiber to the chill of your absence

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  • on Add!ct by ricochet rabbit, on August 10, 2005

    Really Entertaining!

    Oh my! I wasn’t expecting it to be about cake. This is great! The whoring yourself to middle-aged men got me laughing. The form, at first I wasn’t used to. But then I got accustomed to it and it sort of seemed like you were panting. Maybe it’s just me. But it’s really entertaining in that instance. If that was your intention, that was brilliant! I love how you described how it made you feel in lines 24-30. Touching the face of God. Haha. This whole poem was really delightful and a pleasure to read. Great job!

    language: 4, rhythm: 4, subject: 4, tone: 5, form: 4.