I made a vow that I would go hang-gliding before I was thirty.
Like most young men I always imagined I fancied
Life on the Edge
thought of the flying and not the falling
the appalling cost of small mistakes.
Somewhere along the line I really thought about it
and decided the high life was not for me
all being said and done I found
I wanted something more grounded
though I still felt the deadly pull of the cliffs
went there occasionally and peeked
just to feel Mother Earth move under my feet
as she tried to tip me over
then I’d lie down prone and cling to her
Now I live by the sea and that suits me better.
The edge of life still , for sure
but less likely to kill me
the pull that I feel is that of the tide
its ebb and its flow
the power of the wide ocean and its beauty.
At the shoreline there are rocks
some of which I call my own –
one in particular.
In a list
Comments?
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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I felt so insignificant when I read this...you're talent is incredible.
I found a lot of subtleties that really surprised and pleased me in here! Lines 16 and 17 particularly because I never would have thought about it...but i understand it perfectly...if that makes any sense.
So maybe some of it was above my head, but for the most part I really got it and the other things...well, they'll just have to come in time, won't they?
Nienna
PS I love the tone your poems take on, it is mellow and soothing and...lyrical. It's great. Rewarded 1
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I felt so insignificant when I read this...you're talent is incredible.
I found a lot of subtleties that really surprised and pleased me in here! Lines 16 and 17 particularly because I never would have thought about it...but i understand it perfectly...if that makes any sense.
So maybe some of it was above my head, but for the most part I really got it and the other things...well, they'll just have to come in time, won't they?
Nienna
PS I love the tone your poems take on, it is mellow and soothing and...lyrical. It's great. Rewarded 1
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I wish I could go hang-gliding, rock climbing in the alps, snowboarding, diving in the ocean, I even want to go inside of a tornadoe. It may never happen, but atleast I know deep down inside I wanted to. I know deep down of how much I dreamed of that day. Putting me there, in any form I know I did it. This poem makes me think of those dreams. I like that. You should on the edge, but not b/c you promise to or your friends make you. It should be a choice.
nice job,
ashley
ps. the ironic thing is i am just now packing to go to the beach today^^ hehe but I am SURE it is a different one.. Rewarded 4
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Life on the edge..
..is all fun and excitement - until you lose your balance! The poem isn't really about adventure sports Ash. The sea is often a metaphor for life itself. Any idea what the rocks - and one in particular - at the end might be?
Glad to find you in better humour since we discussed 'Fallen Angel'. Your response was OTT and I'm sure you know I was just gently prodding you to accept and utilize some of the useful comment you got before I got there.
I will tell you this much. I think you have a talent. This is a good place to refine it. But it is the negative feedback more than the positive that will help you grow. If it is offered well-meaningly from people you feel deserve your respect , you should try to accept it and incorporate it in your work. To ignore it is the arrogance of youth.
You almost casually mentioned that you might be bipolar. Is that generally, just today, episodic today ..? I've learned not to take things for granted with you.
Have a nice day at the beach.
And mind those rocks.
Your grumpy would-be friend.
Windhover. -
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I am a non-grtanted person...wow that doesnt sound right but it is the thought that counts^^.
Yes, I can be arrogant. I love the rebel life. I tend to be a rebel when it comes to issues with my mom. But she is more of the CLEAN YOUR ROOM parent. Or B MEANS BETTER GET AN A.
I did have fun! Well, I was bored cause we go like everyother weekend, but I had my dog and brothers cats for playmates. I even saved a lizards life! but he lost his tail t-t.
your bipolar, wacky, seriously insane, bandgeek of a friend,
ashley (giggles*) -
I am a non-grtanted person...wow that doesnt sound right but it is the thought that counts^^.
Yes, I can be arrogant. I love the rebel life. I tend to be a rebel when it comes to issues with my mom. But she is more of the CLEAN YOUR ROOM parent. Or B MEANS BETTER GET AN A.
I did have fun! Well, I was bored cause we go like everyother weekend, but I had my dog and brothers cats for playmates. I even saved a lizards life! but he lost his tail t-t.
your bipolar, wacky, seriously insane, bandgeek of a friend,
ashley (giggles*)
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Deep and Beautiful
There are obviously hidden depths to this poem but I love the overall theme of likening life to the desire for high flying or the comfort of a steady, grounded one.
I particularly love the end about your particular rock...what an wonderful way to express your feeling for your wife.. Rewarded 4
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Hi Emma , thanks for commenting and for 'getting' this one so spot-on straight away. Not everyone does you know. I was just about to look up your latest when I caught your comment . See you later ! Thanks again. >W<
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Double meanings!
I see some double meanings - 'Life on the Edge' and 'I wanted something more grounded' are just some of the examples where I can interpret as you trying to make it look like a sport or an adventure of some sort, but could easily mean living your life in general. I liked this John! It's too....hmmmm...... "content"....I don't know but i feel that when i read this one. It's like having a million of choices, only to choose one and beaming with pride of actually choosing it!
I can be wrong, but who cares, my stubborn thoughts always win! haha!
Shhhh....Thoughts
. Rewarded 4
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Sleuthingthoughts
Okay , okay .. ya got me copper ! I'll come quietly. Actually you're partly responsible for this one . Now since you're so clever , can you tell me why ? -
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noooooo waaaaayyyy!
me - partly responsible! i've been reading and rereading....i can't find stubbornthoughts in there!!!! (or maybe i'm just not too clever after all??)....hmmm, let me make a wild guess....is this about a delayed apology to your wife (like after 9 hours and 1 year, lol) for 'still feeling the deadly pull of the cliffs and actually going there occasionally and taking a peek'???? hmmmm?
TELL!!!!!!!
now, now windhover -- don't hover tooooo much! i will be spying on you! lol
SuspiciousThoughts
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How romantic! (Unless I completely missed this, haha!). At first glance I saw an interesting description of flying, which, standing on its own, was great. However, when I really looked at the second stanza, I got the feeling of "the fish in the sea" and you were on the sidelines so to speak. And I figure it has something to do with a relationship because of the very last line, and the double-entendre of the rock.
Excellent!. Rewarded 1
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No , you're right
if you can figure that out ! Glad you liked it and thanks for reading and commenting.
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yeah windover
i really enjoyed this, it was such a nice mellow piece written by someone who was mellowed by the sea and the cliffs so jumping off them became unnecessary,not a loss.
i was thinking this could almost be a nature poem which are usually boring because here you werent' describing nature but your relatshonship to it. keep em coming.
dave. Rewarded 4
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Hi Dave , thanks for the positive comment . I don't think I like nature poems myself . This is about how great it is to have family and have managed to survive the folly of my heydays so I suppose it is about my relationship to nature as well. thanks again. >W<
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Overtones of the undertow
pulling at our lives. Do we give in to them? Or let commonsense prevail?
So, my friend, all is revealed! Thou art a wind-hoverer in name only! Or do you derive your nom-de-plumage from the feel of the briney breeze rummaging through your wispy-locks as you stare with craggy, wizened countenance out upon the shimmering ocean and cogitate on life`s innumerable challenges as of yet unmet.
But then again hang gliding and the risk of flimsy aerial suspension! Why chance it when your thoughts, Worthy Windhover, so obviously soar!
Less subtle rhyme than usual, but you`d hardly notice it, because even the changes of pace and focus flow well together. The image rendered herein sends salty air right up my quivering nostrils. Ok so I`m a porcine sweat-dispenser who needs a shower, but you certainly make me wish I lived by the sea (as opposed to desiring a hang-gliding session).
I also enjoy the way (lines 21-23)you heighten the positivity of familiarity with one`s surroundings and how this leads to inner contentment more than thrill-seeking.
Cheeriest Salutations
guinnessonG
PS At first I thought of headlining this comment with: "Positively Emuesque" but that would`ve been too cheeky. Rewarded 4
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Another trip to the dictionary..
..even then , no joy on 'emuesque'. Are we talking emus/ostriches here? Enlightenment please your Wordiness! Thanks for the very positive and perceptive comment. Where I live they took the rocks from the local cliffs down to the sea and built a harbour. No wonder this old bird gets crabby sometimes! -
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The Emu has Landed
No, it`s not in the dictionary. I made it up. Emus experience vertigo just stretching their necks or so I`ve heard, and fly as well as a hanged man can glide. You got the nom-de-plume i gather. I think maybe it`s one I stole from you actually. Didn`t you put that in a comment?
Anyway, you`re more than welcome
gG -
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The trouble with genius..
..is you're only as good as your last miracle so you quickly get taken for granted! Nom-de-plumage is definitely YOURS - not missed , just taken as typical Gnosisguinness - or is that Gnosisgenius? Anyway the thing about Emus getting vertigo gave me a good laugh (eventually)- where's my flight bag? It's been fun - thanks again! >W<
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Beautiful
I really like the change, your ideas maturing with with you. The pull of the tide replacing the pull of near death is ironic. Since getting in the ocean is at all times being near death because of tide that pulls you. I really think this in one of my favorites of yours. A wonderful poem to say the least.
Red. Rewarded 4
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Thanks Red
Poems about my wife always seem to get a positive response . I'm thinking of calling her 'Rocky' ! -
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Wonderful Woman
She must be a wonderful woman to inspire such poetry.
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