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Involution Ocean.

Missing image
 

 

You sailed away on a moonbeam 

Across the Luna Sea. 

We were islands in the Blood Stream 

But now I`m dead to thee.

 

 

Slowly am I comprehending 

How sad my dreams shall be. 

For you fled before the Ending 

Of lives that died for thee.

 

 

Mere wishing will not make it so; 

Your wings won`t set you free. 

In places only love may go, 

All paths there lead to thee.

 

 

Feel leagues beneath the ocean deep, 

Clear waves of empathy. 

I lay me down – my heart to sleep, 

Where I am dead to thee. 

 

Author notes

When all you can hear is the crashing of waves against the inside of your skull and your bones feel the pull of the breakers...

When it dies where do you suppose it goes?

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Kiddy
    February 5, 2007

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    It's for my retardation.....

    Kiddy blinked and blinked not knowing how to relate the melancholic tone of loss of this poem with Storming Luna Sea…. To talk about loss and pain, assuredly poetry is the best medium…
    Dear gG…. I can relate this poem to many….
    Lines 9-12 are my favourites…. Powerful are the words that express saddest thoughts…. Powerlessness to reach her’ is displayed richly with the rightly arrayed words…
    Conclusion differs from ‘End always…. I could find something called ‘end’ happened to the loving soul whose heart stopped to beat and is lying beneath the deeper Ocean….
    Heart breaking piece!
    Great read…
    Love
    Kiddy


  • October 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    i don't like the image. or the colors. i'm not sure why people think that adds. to me, it distracts.  but i actually thing this is fairly well written, overall. the dead to thee stuff is a bit dramatic, but so is this poem. i'm pretty sure that's what you were going for. i like the play on words of luna sea. you kept a really consistent rhythm/syllable count, good job with that. otherwise, this is just a bit too vague to be powerful. i can't relate to what should be a relateable topic (lost love, right? with a touch of crazy). i think you need to add some hints that reveal the crazy part, besides luna sea there was nothing. but overlall, pretty nice.

    . Rewarded 1


    • gnosisonG silver member
      October 17, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Hi

      Thanx for the comment, shanvee. The image and colour scheme in some eyes do detract from rather than enhance the words. It`s a matter of taste really. Me, I enjoy embellishments - if in context and if there has been some preliminary thought to such an addendum. Involution does emphasize a personal slant and therefore will appear vague unless I`m lucky enough to connect subliminally with a "vaguary" pertaining to someone else`s experience of failing love.
      This short piece merely hints at the reasons behind this, but in its defence I must add that it represents the (decidedly lesser) part of 3 recent pieces - the others being Mea Culpability and Our Sun Consoles Our Sunken Souls (all with colour and imagery I fear).
      That said I hope you have the fortitude to peruse some of my other less ephemeral work, shanvee, as I can see from your praise of Ms Deecrepit, you are a person with taste.
      Cheers,
      gG  


  • iphios silver member
    October 11, 2006

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    For who understands where sanity shall be regained when we lose the one we love too early...too soon (yet everything seems soon?)

    I know nothing about such pain, for i have yet to feel such emotions towards anyone and lose anyone as well. This poem is filled with meaning hidden beneath the words/lines. Yet, it is a clear pondering of something that most of the human species would like to ask.

    Gathered from the comments of others...when reading it, you become lost for a while. Stanza one was the hard part for me to understand, until i read your explanation...nevertheless, the picture you attached help me piece the puzzle together.

    It is sad, when along with the love one died, so do our hearts...for we are trapped and swallowed by the ocean and may as well retereated to numbness.

    This was an interesting read and a bit challenging to understand.
    -iphios

    . Rewarded 1


    • gnosisonG silver member
      October 13, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Appreciate the comment, Iphios

      Poetry is very much a cathartic experience as I know you`ll agree. This piece ties in with a type of ongoing dialogue pursued in Mea Culpability and our Sun Consoles Our Sunken Souls.
      gG


      • iphios silver member
        October 13, 2006
        Edit | Reply
        Yes, it is cathartic...though you tell the truth of what you feel,it can be hidden among the stanzas and the limited words one uses...


      • iphios silver member
        October 13, 2006
        Edit | Reply
        Yes, it is cathartic...though you tell the truth of what you feel,it can be hidden among the stanzas and the limited words one uses...


  • Nienna Colle
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Can I ask for an explanation as to what it's about? I like it but want to know what thoughts went into writing it. I'll hold of on an actual review for now, then
    Nienna

    . Rewarded 1


    • gnosisonG silver member
      September 19, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      The Dead See

      The lament of a woman losing a lover losing a mind.
      Helpless to hinder or influence the departure of intimacy she involutes - folds back on her self, to where a melancholy anodyne/ocean induces anaethesia within despair.
      Moonbeams - intangible elements impossible to grasp (and only shining by night, outside the light of reason).
      Luna Sea - lunacy. He`s nuts.
      Islands in the Bloodstream - Hearts
      Dead to thee - The bond is gone
      And so on. Faith in unity dissolves. Devotion inadequately reciprocated sinks into despondancy. But it is only when finally dead to him she`ll see. See and understand why what happened did not happen as it was supposed to and why some lifetimes are shorter than others.
      The voice here is not mine and the words don`t really belong to me - but it`s speaking to me, insideandout.
      Because it`s her voice, which is far, far worse.
      Hope this oblique rationale afforded a glint of clarity, Nienna.
      Regards
      gG


      • Nienna Colle
        September 20, 2006
        Edit | Reply
        Yes, it does...it makes it better I think. Before it was just vague and...hmmm, I don't know, general I suppose. But your clarification really helped, I really appreciate it. Thanks for helping me understand better...
        kinda tired or I would say more...
        Nienna


  • Windhover silver member
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Don't know..

    . Rewarded 1


  • Windhover silver member
    September 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Don't know..

    ..just what to make of this one. Tone is always a very moveable quantity with you . Here both it and the image conspire to suggest you're taking the piss.But that could mean something deadly earnest from you. I'll take the coward's way out and pretend I don't know who wrote it (and that it didn't come with the goofy image). That makes an accomplished little rhyme . Which makes me suspect it's more than that.
    Like I said  - don't know about this one.

    . Rewarded 4


    • gnosisonG silver member
      September 20, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      I`m writing under an assumed pseudonym

      I wrote it, but the words are not mine. I caused them but their effects are not only mine. My p.o.v. of the relationship is involuted - inverted back on myself until it becomes that of my opposite point of feud. This is a reply to Mea Culpability in away. The other side of the coined phrase. Both are concerned with disremembering. But for different reasons.
      (Not that dissolution needs any.)

      For an even more obtuse elusive-lucidation, subject yourself to my additional reply above.
      Sorry tis all I can muster.
      sisongnosiS


      • Windhover silver member
        September 20, 2006
        Edit | Reply
        sisonGnosis ?! inverted back on himself? That could be your best yet! they'll lock you up one day for sure!

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