Like most men
I like sex
and I think about it a lot
not all the time – but a lot
except right after I’ve had it
and then I don’t want to think about it at all
I just want to sleep and be left alone
Unlike most men I’m happily married
whatever that means.
It’s not like we never fight
or we’re ‘just so completely right’ together
or the honeymoon never ended
we’ve just always given each other
just enough space – and support.
We fuck more than we fight
and together we make a home
that feels like one
we’re somehow – compatible
Like most men
I look at other women
And think ‘hmmm’.
All my buttons still work and even though
I try hard not to be a jerk and come on
to everything in a skirt
or treat women like they were just sex-objects
coz I know they’re not just that
but still I know they’re that too
and every once in a while that comes across real strong
and I go ‘hmmmm’
Like most men
I don’t do anything about it
partly coz it’s not right
but mostly because I’m afraid.
Who’d have thought a little fear of rejection
could so easily counteract erection
and the chance of getting laid ?
I suppose nobody likes to feel like a total prat
too often – not even men.
But now and again you just know
That’s not how it’s going to be -
enough said.
Like most men I find it irresistible
to be found irresistible.
It’s one of the few times in our lives
We get to feel like a king and not a doormat.
That’s worth taking a chance for
and once or twice in my life
I’ve rolled those dice and gone for it.
Maybe that’s wrong
and at some level it’s always been a lie
but it’s been wonderful too-
something I just had to do before I die
Like most men I’ve been found out.
And it’s not like being a little boy
caught with his hand in the cookie-jar
even though that’s all it is.
Sex is a different currency for women
like the money doesn’t matter
but like most men I think the money matters
until its spent.
That’s why I went there
Unlike many men
These indiscretions haven’t cost me my marriage
And I remain rich
Even though I haven’t got a bean.
Most of the time I keep it real
and promise my wife and myself – never again
will I surrender to whim and lust
and thank my lucky stars she doesn’t
think I’m just
like most men.
Author notes
I've been reading Charles Bukowski at the instigation of Dave Ochs. Apologies to Bukowski and Dave .
In a list
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1 - 24 of 24
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Like most women
Like most women
My head turns
To that gorgeous hunk
who passed my way
He looked sexy in yellow
Not all men do
And he smells good too
I wonder if he is smart
and funny
with sweet kisses
of honey.
Like most women
I flash a shy smile
and flirty gaze
and be amazed
how it excites me
if he responds
and comes near
and brushes my hand
accidentally or
intentionally
i know i feel
every inch a damsel.
Unlike most women
Somebody makes me feel I am
his woman at home.
my heart flutters
my words stutter
in the familiar warmth of
his fingers
intertwined in mine
everytime,
And though I am guilty
of this human weakness
i don't give it a chance and miss
this one good romance
of a lifetime.
I thank venus and mars
and the multitude of stars
he loves me
and thinks I can't just be
Like most woman.
No, u definitely aren't like most men. LOL!
revealing write! Love its honesty and humor.
L. Rewarded 1
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You'll be hearing from my lawyer!
Solicitorthoughts. (lol!)
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Painfully honest
John,
Maybe this is the most open and honest piece on this site? I find it hard to think of another work that captures thought, reflection and true emotion in such fashion.
I hope you don't mind me saying, but you have pitched this perfectly. It is not a subject made for rose petal imagery and floral distillation. We can't purify such reality - and this is 100% proof.
Both sexes will relate to this. Often the male is at fault, but the score is even in reality. Those who have not strayed in body, do so in mind all the more. Just my opinion - skewed by life experience and mine alone. And that is why opinions will differ when readers respond. Some will respect and others will vilify. But you knew that when you posted it. All the more respect from me as a result.
Lines 42-52 (5th stanza) are incredible. It is so true that when one settles in partnership, that feeling of being needed, wanted, yearned for - is lost. Yet it is what we crave; maybe we take for granted that which eventually becomes unspoken. And so we explicity hunt for just that in a moment or two of lust. Whether in body or mind it doesn't matter. It happens.
This is poetry for the people, for the 21st Century - real and alive.
Thanks for sharing. I appreciate how difficult it must have been.
Mart. Rewarded 1
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Couldn't ask for more..
..the irony of that just struck me. Moving along.Your comment is as gratifying as I could have ever hoped for with this poem. It is already one of my favourites because, yes, I did really 'put it out there' and took some risks. I had a look at myself and tried to do so as straight as a man can. If it's true for one man it's true for many. We are all too busy trying to live up to some chewing-gum stereotyped ideal to ever really think about who and what we are.
' This is poetry for the people, for the 21st Century - real and alive.'
I don't think anyone could ask for a better compiment to their poetry. Thank you.
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painfully honest ,hard to hear.
Be strong, don't fool yourself.If you figure youv'e done the worst thing you can do ,and she still stood by you . Don't think it will always be so.Or maybe it will.. Rewarded 4
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Thanks for the comment Blue. It IS a painfully honest piece but whilst it was hard enough to write I'd hoped it wouln't be too hard to hear. I hope it expresses what many feel and few will say. That's the writer's job at the end of the day , don't you think? Thanks again. My Best. >W<
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That was a fast response!
If I sent this 2x's sorry.I posted some of my stuff in erotica,please give me your input.
Trueblueliberty
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welll you should be thanking your lucky stars. Forget a marriage going awry because a guy is caught cheating. So many marriages go haywire just like that... And I guess you are correct, that people usually dont cheat not because its wrong... but because of the fear... i think its fear of getting caught more than fear of rejection...
Poetically.. i like the way you have dealt with the subject. The constant theme of "like most men" gives the poem a great readability.
Cheers for the great poetry... and may you and your family remain happy forever.. Rewarded 4
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My Thanks
I suppose it's inevitable when you write a piece as personal as this that responses have a personal tone. I hope the experience of the individual has some sort of general relevance however. Most gratifying that you liked the poem and its form. I thank you for your comment and your good wishes. >W<
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Worth reading again
Now that everything has already been said, and more, I hardly need go on at length. Honesty and candor aside, though not too far, it spelt out the facts of life most adroitly. By coincidence, Don Giovanni (Mozart) was playing on the radio, replete with its seductions as a suitable accompaniment. What a fullsome reply it would have sent... alas, gone. Pity. I guess now we'll just never know. Tsk.
I wanted to reply on first reading but lost the poem. It just stopped being featured.
It is a lovely poem in many ways, the gift of language is there as usual, the tone, gentle and considerate, candid, and kind. Some wives are luckier than most (from observation) and I see you know you are pretty lucky too.
Terry
. Rewarded 4
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Im a tough guy ...Okay! ?
Hi Terry ! Nice to hear from you as always and, as always , thanks for commenting. I'm surprised to see words like 'gentle and considerate' coming back about this one . I was aiming at 'direct and unfrilly' or something close ! But you're not the only one to comment like this and it seems I'm just a big softee when all is said and done. There goes my 'tough guy' career! Tsk! (what a great expression) It may interest you to know there's a very real possibility I was eating in one of my favourite Italian restaurants as you typed your message. It's called 'Don Giovanni's'. Great doing poetry with you as always. >W<
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Unlike Most Men,
however, you have the balls to elaborate on one of humanickinds worst kept secrets through the eons, my dear Windhover. Your membership in The Horny Poets Society is sure to be mercilessly revoked after this expose, Oh Flighty One.
Sincerely though, these truthes cut to the quick of my pusillanimous...prick my ego exclaiming: Egad! What will become of my implacable visage of discretion and ad lib (women`s lib of course!) non-libidinous sentimental bullshit proclamations of mental fidelity now?
Ok I guess they were wearing thin anyway; as the familiarity of contempt supersedes puppy love and supplants puerile notions of devoted gallantry with resigned acceptance of immature maleness.
No way around it I suppose. If a cat sticks with same spouse scary depths of dubious testicular zones of testosterone urgings are eventually uncovered. Whole Homer Simpzones of forbidden libiDOH(!)s are revealed to oil and asundery. Indeed if we slip up once too often we tear the illusory fabric of compliant compatability apart.
This brings to mind my sole foray into stand-up "haiku":
Swear Words.
I swear my Love
Never never
No never ever NEVER
Again.
And again
And again and again and again and
Again...
Thanx for this opportunity to expose myself, Windhover.
Cheers,
g-spotsonG. Rewarded 4
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Are you in - or out? (of the 'little boys club'?)
My dear gG , I am left wondering if I disillusioned you or recruited you. Surely my membership in the aforementioned 'Horny Poets Society' is assured and not up for revocation ?
As for exposing yourself..Heaven forbid! Only a master of English could unravel the veils you so elegantly wrapped around this comment. I'm definitely taking it as a positive though - I'm just that sort of girl! Leghover
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The Lusty W
W, love it. Made me think, and feel, and, even though, as you know, I come to your poem from "another angle," so to speak, made me guilty, then made me, well, "just."
So, this is the side of W I've just discovered, other than the lyrical and dreamy -- since I've been into SP only about 10 days, that's the side I've seen so far. But this side is your lusty side, and your candor is refreshing.
Lines 34-36, erection and fear of the wife's rejection made me laugh. You struck home, my man, on that one. But I also thought: what keeps me from climbing the wall is also the fear that "the rejecter" might do the same to me. Awful thought for this lover of fidelity: fidelity to ME! I guess men are men...are men.
Lines 59, 60 are street-philosophical: "I think the money matters until it's spent." Nice.
The break (I mean, ahem, caesura) between 70 and 71 is perfect.
And the out-there honesty of 47-52 struck me good.
Your "thinking about sex" a lot reminded me of one of Jay Leno's cracks a while ago: A new survey of German men found that they think about sex every 34 seconds; but they think about invading France every 16...
And your whole poem makes me think: Just because I'm full doesn't mean I can't look at the menu.
Another beauty from W. By the way, please check out my new one: "Beware The Right Ones." That's the bitch that's kept me up nights for 2 weeks. I changed the original thought of "Patriots" to "The Right Ones." Think it works?
LAD (Pentameterman). Rewarded 4
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Lusty? You mean horny? Yep. Thats me!
Actually neither word really covers it because you don't 'cross the line' just because you're horny . So glad you used the word 'refreshing' though. That's exactly how it felt to write it.
This was 'a big one' for me the moment I opened the note pad - one of those even an insecure little scribbler has no doubts about.
Your edifying and thoughtful comments will sit with some other similarly gratifying responses already received and I thank you for them sincerely . These messages arrive here like old friends at a birthday party and if I could throw a party right now I would.
I'll get to your new poem asap Si, I'm looking forward to it! Thanks again for this . Later. >W<
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hey now
i agree with pie. your too nice a guy to be Bukowski. thats meant as a compliment. as i said in the message, bukowkis influence isn't to sound like him but in who you are which you've done in this piece.
i think better than Oprah and any womens mag. you articulate why men go astray, and how men and women are different. not to rationilize but its ludicrous for a partner to give the death penalty for an infidelity, despite what that harsh judgemental bitch Dr Laura says.
a great poem from start to finish that should be published.
dave. Rewarded 4
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This is all YOUR fault
coz I simply wouldn't have written it if I hadn't been reading Bukowski's book and I'd never have bought it if I hadn't read 'The World's No. 1 Bukowski fan'. I couldn't ask for anything more gratifying than your comment on it , Dave . I always feel like I sound like I'm kissing your arse but you should know you've really influenced my writing as much as anybody ever did , with the exception of Julia Cameron without whom I simply wouldn't be writing at all. So thanks . -
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hey windover
thanks much appreciated, i'm going to have to check out Julia Cameron. also thanks for your comments on If i can't have it all.
dave
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Hmmmm. I don't get Bukowski out of this, (mainly because it's just not foul enough-- Bukowski WILL come on to just about anything in a skirt-- he is, after all, a leg man) but I did find it funny, painful and candid. Only after reading your comments, and knowing your other pieces as I do, did I see where the bluntness, the theme of giving in to animal instincts, as well as a few liberal "fucks" (pun intended) might be traced back to reading him.
I found it very interesting how, once you established the subject of relations between men and women, you progressed from explaining a very normal relationship to the act of infidelity, and the aftermath. You handle it very deftly, so that it doesn't feel rushed or forced.
I loved lines 34-36-- but you know me to be a fan of the incidental rhyme. I find it to be the spice in the dish of a poem.
On lines 57-60, I think I know what you mean, but only in the intuitive sense. Care to clarify?
The final stanza and the penultimate line are superb.
Overall, you show your trademark wit and humanity. I'm glad you didn't trade that even for a homage.
-Pie
P.S., Some women are like the opening stanza-- me, for instance.
. Rewarded 4
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Hi Pie ! So nice to see your face in my place - it's been a while! I'm really glad you commented on this one. And that you liked it. It feels like quite an important one to me and did so as soon as I started writing it. It's a hugely liberating thing to write for public consumption EXACTLY what you think and how you feel.Forgive me if I gave the impression I know anything about Bukowski - I've read 15 chapters - full stop. But I already love the guy. I just don't think he does what he does to shock , or for effect or anything else. That's just the way he is and how he sees things - and it's REALLY refreshing. I wrote this during the first wave of that 'refreshment'- that's all. I wouldn't dare presume a tribute or anything close.
Your comment was both kind and astute(as always) and it's hugely gratifying to read something like that from someone like yourself. Thank you.
I like a little rhyme interspersed like the spice you mention and couldn't resist the one you highlighted. I deleted several others quite deliberately. Also some swearing that felt OK but was gratuitous and 'copy-cat'.
lines 57 - 60 ? hmmm!
Okay - this boy believes women attribute much more significance to the sex-act than men, especially where a 'territorial' relationship exists. The act itself is not as important as the invasion of territory it signifies and therefore is seen by women as a far greater 'betrayal' than it is by men. So women aren't as interested in the act - the money as I call it- as they are in the invasion of territory (the principal - with echoes of principle , interest , capital etc.etc. )
I kept hearing (in my head)the woman's side of this as I wrote . But I wasn't trying to state a balanced argument here. This , I believe, is how 'most men' feel, think and act. Hence the title.
If you don't hear from me again you'll know my wife found this and killed me. She's constantly threatening to. But her bark is so much worse than her bite (luckily for me). I'm working on a poem called 'Atilla the Hunee-bee' . She's a cutie-pie too!
Great doing poetry with you again.
My Very Best >W< -
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It has been a while, hasn't it?
Nah, I understand and totally appreciate that you've newly discovered Bukowski, a writer that I love so much myself. I agree that he did not write as he did to be shocking; I think he simply could not help himself. He HAD to be honest, he HAD to put himself in his writing. Truly amazing.
That's what I thought you meant, and thank you for elaborating. My own views often blind me to the way other women still view sex. I find the idea of sex being currency, or territory, to be tiresome and passe. Let us hope that these ideas perish from the species. (Fat chance, I know, esp. in the US, with a conservative Congress and a puritanical history.) It's funny you wrote this, because I had a funny idea the other day to write something (a poem, a short story, or possibly even an essay) entitled, "God Bless You, Margaret Sanger."
I think it came across very well in your poem your feelings of liberation and release, to which I say, cheers! I agree with Dave-- for too long, people have tiptoed around political correctness and have tried to pretend that the sexes aren't different, when they truly are.
I'm sure your wife must be quite a character. My husband is-- pity them, for having to live with writers.
Lovely to work with you, too!
-Pie
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Oh, bloody hell. Double post.
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Oh bloody hell..! ...(?)
I believe you're American but sometimes there's something so very ENGLISH about you ! Is there ? -
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Hee. Funny you should ask. I'm a fraud, actually. An American who wishes she were British.
I'm as far from British as it's possible for one to be, I think. My mother is Mexican, and my father is German, so I'm just barely an American, really. I've been an ardent Anglophile since I was about 14-- I majored in Brit Lit, worship the Beatles, watch the BBC, Ab Fab, Monty Python, you name it. One of my instructors, who became a real mentor for me, was educated at Oxford, and encouraged my fetish. You may know, I'm from Missouri. T.S. Eliot was from St. Louis and became a British citizen, a point I found very inspirational. (In those days, I cherished dreams of being poet laureate of England).
I think when I was around 17 or 18 I made a conscious effort to acquire the phrase "bloody hell" and now I can't seem to get rid of it.
Also, a good friend of mine is from New Zealand, and I've picked up an assortment of phrases from her as well.
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