"More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones"
Final words of the last unfinished novel by Truman Capote - d.1984.
I am a recepticle
For words
Of greatness.
Yet I cannot reciprocate
Even the tiniest
Human kindness.
A monster -
Mendacious, covetous
And cruel.
A creator of beauty;
Human suffering
My foremost tool.
My idols lie idle
Reclining
On withered laurels.
I lie among them
Listless,
Listing the lisps
Of immoral quarrels -
Of who wrought the softest
Barb to skewer
A heart.
Of who drew the most blood
To fill leaking quill
With art.
Within my wanton soul
Lives of woe
Flow through time enclosed.
Distilled, encapsulated
Each poison pill
Of plush prose
Perfidious for those
Who must endure
The rank antics
Of brutal semantics.
Etymology mirrors tragedy
To delight
Diehard romantics,
For whom another`s ordeal,
A distant view
Of epic torture, some-
Body etched in wretched
Trauma,
Allays the nausea
Of mortal boredom.
And though I strive
Not to give a damn,
When I transcribe fragile lives
I reveal the lie
Of who I am.
Author notes
I wrote this after viewing the excellent film "Capote" where the underlying theme of brutal honesty in scathingly depicting the lives of others wrestles with an author`s manipulative efforts to wring every last drop of "story" from victims and killers alike. "In Cold Blood" was to become Truman Capote`s greatest achievement and yet in many ways the experience appears to have destroyed him, proving perhaps the adage that a recorder becomes part of the experiment he recounts.
No observer goes unobserved so to speak.
This attempts a depiction of what might have been going through Capote`s mind as he sank into alcohol-induced oblivion; regret strengthening his self-condemnation.
I beg exoneration for the conceit of reiterating something I cannot possibly know from inside the head of a dead person and I wonder, does its resonance make me a part of its story now?
How far can an author go recording others before losing himself?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Tasty bait!
Tres Tres bien! Lovely rhythm, lightest rhyme, sense of humour throughout the dark and guilt-ridden lines that apply to us all, pleasure seekers rewarded here by "plush prose perfidious". Your long fishing-rod shape is itself the "softest / Barb", and you've hooked.
. Rewarded 4
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this is true...so very true.
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As far as Truman went? NO WAY.
gG, an absolute, heart-tearing knockout. You zeroed in on the true Truman: a bastard. A queeny disgrace to "us" guys -- you'll catch my drift. A mincing menace.
Yes, the little guy could write well on occasion, but the undertones of his sentences were indeed black and sour with selfishness. You strike truly at that.
Fantastic lines for me, among a ton:
12-16: I can see his fat enthroned among the fatuous.
43-46: his deserved epitaph.
Bravo, g! Bravo, indeed! This is one of your poems that I could read a few times without straining my brain -- that's a compliment!! Your others are as brilliant, but, for me, they don't quite have the withering and restrained grace of this one.
Please, may I copy it? My handful of literary friends
must not miss this. Let me know if I have your permission; it will not be further copied.
And no, your other poems tell me that you have not descended into Truman's hole by doing this poem. Besides, this poem is mild in contrast to my thoughts about the little shit.
Ciao.
Lad. Rewarded 4
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i have not watched the movie, and truth be told i am not very familiar with his work (except maybe "Breakfast at Tiffany's). Yet, it is true, in research one is thought when doing qualitative studies you become part of those you study. The observer takes in the life and being of those he study (yet, we are warned not to go so into their world that one loses sight of yourself), and maybe some do get into it, to the point of becoming one with those s/he planned to study.
Writers convey what is going on, but the risk of it is being engulfed into the situation and losing who we are as we write is there. And sometimes, too much passion on the matter being observed may taint even the truth, so line 45-46 fits perfectly to end this poem.
Once again, your poems always make me write more and allows me to think.
-iphios
. Rewarded 4
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My Thanx, Iphios
Once again for a comment where you expound on the themes within.
Cheers
gG
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gG
"be careful what you pray for, you just might get it."
i saw the Capote movie also. I wasn't particurarly fond of him because he was manipulative and a liar. to tell you the truth i wasnt crazy about the film because i had to relive In Cold Blood which is so brutal.
i think the poem brings up a lot of good insights into Capote, i didn't realize the book destroyed him, and your question is difficult to answer. i always thought writing was a way of redemption buy maybe i'm niave.
dave. Rewarded 4
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Cheers Dave
Interesting point. I suppose writing can be different means to odds and ends for different people. Fex if in it for the money we`d be writing porn (I know I would).
Thanx for the comment, mate.
gG
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Great
Saw the movie and I can see why it inspired you. This is beautiful Si and your reflective mood is infectious . I'm no longer surprised of course by your skill with the pen but you excel in poetic thought as much as language here, rather as you did in 'Concentrate..'.
'My idols lie idle Reclining On withered laurels. I lie among them Listless, Listing the lisps Of immoral quarrels - Of who wrought the softest Barb to skewer A heart.
Of who drew the most blood To fill leaking quill With art.'
Really brilliantly poetic.
The intro kind of runs into the poem itself , especially given the 'informal' form you've chosen. What I mean is I found myself wondering if I was reading quotes from Capote or original gnosisonG. Reading your footnotes I realized this was in fact quite deliberate and just more evidence of your truly amazing gift at this stuff.
Not so sure about the random capitals. The only effect they gave it after the first line or so where they seemed to denote his vanity, was a slight seasickness as my head bobbed up and down as my eye ran over them.
And the last line bothered me. I felt his problem and angst were born of the fact that he had to struggle TO give a damn. But I've never read him and I bow to your superior everything.
refer to title above
>W<
. Rewarded 4
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Cheers Windhover
This was written in much same way as Concentrate. Off the cuff as it were. I`ve always been a little wary of close depictions of persons I know. I should loosen up in regard to this while retaining some kind of ethical backbone.
Thanx John
gG
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