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One Heart Beating Is Not Mine, ButOurs.

Missing image

 

 

As cardiovascular fluids mingle

Our heart valves pipe a serenade;

Anatomies will meld into a single

Harmony angels might have played.

 

Enchantments bind compatible parts,

Betwixt two equidistant poles;

Like spaces blank on explorers` charts

Mystery stalks our kindred souls.

 

Bending paths inside of errant Time

Blood vessels sail for aortas´ prize;

From dead end-trails we hear bells chime

Spirits fuse - see through one pair of eyes.

 

We shall disremember yesterday

Cast a weave spun with gossamer seam;

Let the thread that lends us Oneness fray

Till selves fade like ripples on a dream.

 

For this one heart beating is not mine

But ours to burn bright or ossify.

Why place a headstone through our spine

When we can hold our breath forever -

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Snow is falling outside my window. I should ve been at work but preferred to be in work. Tomorrow I ll make up the shortfall but today
I ll just sit here and watch it fall...

A Head Full of Heart-Stones.

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Gagiikwe
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    A finely crafted poem.
    The rhymes are unforced, natural and flowing.

    My response to this excelent poem was the same as Himanshumodi's.

    It immediately brought to mind my wife's pregancies.

    [I didn't pick up on the siamese twins photo because of my eyesight. Which is ok by me, 'cause a good poem such as this doesn't need a visual prompt]


    • gnosisonG silver member
      May 5
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Gagiikwe!

      Yes the more I glance over this one, the more I must subscribe to your own and Himanshumodi´s deeper, healthier and more life-affirming interpretation.
      If ever the occasion should arise I shall undoubtedly insist that the mother-child theme was my sole and unadulterated intent conveniently forgetting the debt I owe to all the constructive generosity it has been my fortune to receive here at Swearpoetry.com.
      Heheh. Thanx again, Sir, have a good one.

      Warm regards

      pregGnantwithpossibility


  • mr backwards
    February 25

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very open-ended poem, which is great since it leaves so much to be thought about
    is there beauty in the accidental? your words make it seem so. the sheer fact that an organism can be physically linked to a sibling is one of those things people never think about on a daily basis unless they are conjoined, in which case it is probably thought about frequently.
    what is the price of independence? is it detachment from others? how separate are two brains in the same body? so many questions arise, abstract and absent from our lives, but the centerpiece for some. this poem fills me with wonder.

    favorite stanza would have to be the last one,

    "For this one heart beating is not mine
    But ours to burn bright or ossify. "
    the b's make great consonance

    "Why place a headstone through our spine
    When we can hold our breath forever - "
    this is great imagery, can I suggest a replacement of 'place' with 'drive', however? it just conveys a tone of violent removal.

    ultimately, great as is. another KO.

    -Mr. B


    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 25
      Edit | Reply

      Cheers Mr B

      Yeah. Good suggestion about "drive" in place of place. It adds internal rhyme though detracts slightly from the accumulation of "S" sounds in that line. Let me masticate on it a bit.
      I liked your rhetorical questioning btw, especially the price of independence. Good one and thanx for your generous words Mr sdrawkcab. Heheh excuse me - couldn´t resist.
      Warmest regards

      gG


  • himanshumodi
    April 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really wish you had left out the siamese twins pic and left the poem form its own image. This is such a beautiful poem... so much warmth... i have gone through the comments below... None of them talk about the image that cropped up in my head by the time i finished the poem. The image was a baby in a mother's womb. No not, siamese twins, but just a baby... and the baby is about to be born and separated from her mother. a lot of anatomical words used here could go well for that (as well as for the siamese twins you choose to depict). Siamese twins are not a very happy image for me.... Though there are cases of siamese twins leading a healthy life, in perfect harmony, i still see it as a defect. Call me narrow if you will. But since the poem did not talk about the defect side of it: You talk about mingle, harmony, spirits fusing... all of which are, well images of the perfect scheme of things. Just couldn't associate it with siamese twins.

    And towards the end the poem is almost spiritual... it just takes a path towards unifying of all humans to a glorious existence... Lovely write...

    One question though... how come you chose to not rhyme the last line?? Speaking of which this poem was a lesson on control of beat and rhyme. Fantastic read for me!!!

    . Rewarded 8


    • gnosisonG silver member
      April 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Excellent Image of Yours!

      Cheers Himanshumodi! What a brilliant twist! A child inside a mother! I hadn t thought of that. It is in so many ways the most beautiful image evoked by my poor work. I am so gratified that sharp sensitive minds such as your own, my friend, can by through kindness of reading and generosity of comment open new vistas to reveal how much more there is to learn about deep poetry writing.
      My picture does indeed portray a far more sordid view. But from my own muddy origins it is that much more pleasurable to share in the lofty visions/interpretations of my worthy peers.
      As for breaking the pattern with the last sentence: Well I had a whole bunch of rhyming alternitives but felt none of them evoked a sense of...timelessness. (Last lines are incredibly important - you have many good ones, mate).
      Holding ones breath forever is STOPPING time. Stopping it with love I suppose.

      Cheers Himanshumodi. I owe you!

      gG


  • William McGarvey silver member
    March 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very deep,

    A very deep poem that evokes many thoughts. Is the heart beating within us our own? Is the breath that I am breathing mine? I woke up this morning but that person that got out of bed is now dead, yet I’m standing here alive and well. Where is that person’s heart?
    Air re-oxygenates our blood but is air something that is external to us? Many challenging thoughts in this poem.

    Bill

    . Rewarded 8


    • gnosisonG silver member
      April 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Hahah! Cheers Bill

      "Many challenging thoughts in this poem." And a whole bunch in your comment, mate!
      Regards
      gG


  • Ludmila607
    March 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Extremely Brighting

    We are getting used to find really astonishing poems when it comes to Gnosisong.I already found from Epic to Dark or Religous and this one that sound scientific poetry.The echographic lines I dont know what word to use.And it is maybe when you read something really impacting thet you became wordless.
    I read poetry and I try to write it.I like to learn from those who dare to share it and to admire those corageus enough to show their talent without soberbia or egolatry.
    This poem is to read it a hundred times.To study it and to learn from it.I love your manner to express yourself and to see thimgs around you.I adore when poetry is not an act of vanity but a real way of life and communication.
    And when we think that English it isn t your native idiom(I think so)that make to poem even more valious.
    Image, words and subject appear as a unity.Congratulations on your work.

    . Rewarded 4


    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 26, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Echographic?

      Hey Ludmila, what a great neologism! An echo of images - echographics. Nice one!
      And soberbia and egolatry? Two more poetically spun words, Ludmila?
      Thank you so much once more for kind and immensely generous words aswell as your pertinent views on poetry and life - always a pleasure to hear.
      English is infact my native idiom, Ludmila. I came to Norway as a 13 year old clutched in the grip of puberty blues. The ensuing "cultureshock" and an onset of pimples didn t help my inate bashfulness at all.
      But throughout this time and having since resided in several other countries I have retained English as my stiff-upper tongue.

      Warmest regards Ludmila

      gG

      PS. I owe you a few reviews!


  • Windhover gold member
    March 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Deep over my head

    Hi gG. Couldn't find your latest offering but stumbled across this one. Beautifully worded and brilliantly constructed as usual. However, the sort of philosophical issues it discusses and which you discuss with Pie are deep enough to go way over this little bird's head. On the poetic front, I believe the image chosen to accompany it is way too strong and that both it and the highly technical anatomical vocabulary and information cause a distraction from the spiritual issues the poem seems to want to discuss - at least it did for this reader. That is to say I was so busy thinking about the possible physical / Siamese twins implications of the picture and the medical info that I never really came close to philosophical/poetic thought beyond my admiration of your skill. The background colour choice also conspires to 'gross me out' - like you can't help wanting to do that even when you send a message of hope. So I felt I'd been left not quite grossed out - not quite uplifted. Being an incurable romantic , this one didn't quite work for me. But, as always, it is work of the highest calibre. >W<

    . Rewarded 4


    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 15, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      BUT IS IT heART?

      Cheers John, for the honest interp.
      You are probably right in the way I keep wanting to gross you out,mate. There is a sense of defecating in the rosebed that is part and paracelsus of my puerile personality. I got a kick out of the image because it represents the least relevant factor of the poem. It twists things away from the obvious and reading this without the image I don t think even my disturbed mind would come up with a Siamese twin association.
      And yet this is the very thing that for me gives One Heart its alchemical transformation: from base metal bollox to golden harmony and unity of spirit.
      Oh and I believe it CAN be read as a simple love poem without the airy fairy rigmarole, you old romantic you.

      From gGround Zero

      gG

  • Terry-too
    March 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Impressive all the way!

    This one is a rare feast. I'm glad I took time to stop by.

    As impressive as the poem itself--more about that later, probably, was the exchange of thoughts with CPie.
    Both are worthy of great heaps of praise

    Truly beautiful stuff all the way!
    I just have nothing more to say.
    It travels through magic places
    visiting depths by embraces
    to heights not ever searched
    by scholars, scientists, and not
    displayed by politics or caught
    by all those as ever untaught
    by astronauts!

    Breathlessly impressed!
    Terry

    . Rewarded 4


    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 10, 2007

      Edit | Reply

      Impressed in Tandem

      By the way you breathe poetry with such effortless ease, Terry, even in a critique.
      I was reading one of your comments recently and (not to put down the poet in question) as is often the case for me, your comments are more memorable than the object of their review.
      Cheers a million

      gG Whiz (Doesn t time fly)

      • Terry-too
        March 10, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        When impressed--

        ,,
        --even in a reply-box two commas wide! Inserted.

        One for my Aw-Shucks department, thank you!
        Generally speaking, in a place where poets assemble in such concentration, an aura of poetry boosts verbal facility. Big smile for your take on it!
        Terry


  • Lad silver member
    March 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    The heart of Gnostic mysticism...

    ...sometimes moves me more than the canon-ized legends of the Doings of God within and without us. The poem is a beautiful ode to joy: alle menschen verden bruder - one day, in the cosmic future, let it be so: "through one pair of eyes..."
    Lad

    . Rewarded 4


    • gnosisonG silver member
      March 9, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      I agree, Lad

      Thanx for the positive critique, mate. It s the holistic dream of cosmic oneness isn t it. It might sound like a corny cliche but it lies at the heart of many a mystery religion. Once mankind\s cranial hemispheres split and we could suddenly view ourselves outside of ourselves there was bound to be a sense of oneness missing which is a more scientific theory of religious foundation.
      Cheers
      gG

  • dave ochs silver member
    February 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    hey gG

    ditto everything c-pie says about mystical language and ryhmes, I cant say it better. sometimes i don't read deeply enuf into a poem but I thought maybe you where talking about twins or more like siamese twins you know co-joined am i a mile off?
    dave


  • celestialpie gold member
    February 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hey there again, gG. Another thrilling piece, faithful to your usual form-- reliable rhythms and ingenuious rhymes and ecstatic, mystical language.

    I love, love, love the last stanza. An excellent close to what I can best discern is an ode to the shedding of self and dichotomy. But what type of merge-- the merge of souls between two people in love? Between an individual and God? The merging of a soul within the cosmic All?

    Under your notes you reference snow-- was this prompted by the old adage about no two snowflakes? The picture and references to conjoined twins supports this theory. Yet under categories, you put Hermetica, which further confuses me-- I have a passing familiarity with the Corpus Hermetica, but could you please illuminate me? My curiosity is quite pleasantly piqued.

    Cheers,
    Pie




    • gnosisonG silver member
      February 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Pie

      I cherish your comments just so you know and I m glad to have piqued your curiosity. You are basically correct on all counts concerning the merging. A fundamental aspect of gnostic hermeticism is the unifying of disparate parts. Our souls are trapped in flesh and material "vexistence". Hermeticism like catharism is concerned with reuniting our soul-essence with the true Cosmic Godhead not the cartoon version prevalent in today´s Churchianity. (The "Creator" in the Cathar world-view is humanity´s gaoler and is known as the Demiurge.)
      The surface of One Heart Beating is indeed about two lovers converging but as in alchemical processes an alembic is required if two different elements are to be united in order to create a superior whole larger than the sum of their parts - in this case it s love.
      Love of the Godhead is first sought inside, therefore the dichotomy of head and heart. So I have a bit of fun describing the inner journey like an outward trip. Line 9 relates to another aspect of illumination - we must bend the physical and lose our constricting sense of time to exist beyond mundane constraints.
      Line 11 "dead entrails/end-trails" alludes to the dead end of flesh - the sound of a bell is a spiritual wake-up call used in some Buddhist practices (Mantrayana I think) to shock a pupil into wakefulness/spiritual awareness. And so on.
      Finally. It s interesting you should mention snowflakes. I didn t have any special idea behind snow to tell the truth, but all these individual snowflakes do merge upon falling to the ground to become one don t they. Interesting point.
      Hope this answered a few queries (without going too much off on a tangent!).
      Thanx again Pie

      Warmest regards
      gG

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