Sitting in my home,wich is also sometimes my cell
Sometimes my life is Heaven,sometimes my life is Hell
Every now and then it gets blurred and I just can't tell
Think I'm stepping in a puddle,end up at the bottom of a well
How can I relax in Heaven when I feel so at home in Hell?
I'm no satanist,I don't worship the Devil
I'm just a girl from the south,a natural born Rebel
Everyone wants me to fix their homelife,when it's their foundation that just isn't level
Crazy runs in the family
It runs rampant the further down the line
Thers just doesn't see to be a reason to the rhyme
No method to the maddness,just meaness and spite
The world so desperate to spread the sadness
WHY?
Trueblueliberty
Please tell me what you think
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Hey
A nice poem. You are in a tough situation. But asking why is leading toward fatalism thinking. Just take every moment at it comes. How you respond to each moment is what counts.
Bill
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks!As always your input is appreciated
Most of the writing I've been putting out there was done awhile back.Either I'm whining or it's sexual in nature.Obviously I used and still use this as a vent.It's the closest thing thing to a healthy way of dealing with things.Sorry!
Tbl!p.s
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WOWIE!
tis very very very very very good! me likie very very very very much! (as you can see i enjoy repeating words alot) this has alot of emotion! i can really feel it! it's very very deep! again me likie very very very very much!!!!!!!!!!!
. Rewarded 4
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Tight to rambling...
starts out tight, I really like the first stanza, but then gets sloppy as it progresses to the end with faltering flow and rhyme scheme; then it just leaves off with nothing to wrap it up and tie it together. I get a mental image of you with an armload of ideas that start falling to the ground and you aren't catching them. Needs some structure as in a theme and then a natural progression of events that culminates in a complete idea that wraps it all together. This is the message I am getting: the world is falling apart around me; and: Why is that? The question is more rhetorical as everyone knows the answer: selfishness. What would intrigue me most is to explore more with metaphor how you are feeling and then to pose some possible answers to your questions to give the poem more balance. The poem is one big query. Forgive me, but I like poems that answer their questions, or at least explore options.
Please don't hate me for being honest. This is what I got out of it straight-up without any candy-coated crap. From what I've gathered of you, I think it's a safe gamble. If not...feel free to tear me a new one.
Al. Rewarded 8
William McGarvey
April 13, 2007