I may go down in history you know
Not a bad place to go, past or present
But that’s not what I was talking about
Or maybe it is – but I digress
The history I suggest is of the medical variety
For I believe I have discovered a syndrome
which may bring me note
or notoriety
A syndrome – what a coincidence!
I cycled in a velodrome once.
But where was I? Ah yes – digressing.
The only other syndrome I know
is called Tourettes.
And that’s about as close as I can get
to describing my own find
which seems to support Mr. Freud
and his ideas about what’s on a man’s mind.
If I haven’t discovered a syndrome
I have at least discovered James.
And his surname will entitle
my claim to fame
which I’m getting to - so
As you may know
People with Tourettes have outbursts -
uncontrollable vocalization of obscenity and curses.
Which is bad.
But what makes it worse is
without meaning to
they’d tell Christ Himself just where to go.
Now, my own syndrome isn’t as bad as that
Oh, fuck me, no !
You see, James – surname Gonagle-
Doesn’t have outbursts exactly.
Rather he exhibits and displays
small seepages-
words that leak from his lips
when he’s distracted
and his inner self comes out to play.
Lost in his thoughts or his work
to the cares of the day
it seems he lets his subconscious hold sway
which would be okay
if it didn’t borrow his voice.
Not by choice it seems, he speaks
what he is thinking-
thoughts deep and round and warm and soft and sinking.
And he murmurs gently – “Tits!”
without knowing it
Shocked, we ask him did we hear him right.
That gives him a fright – you can see it
in his eyes -
the real surprise
of recognizing what he’s just uttered,
replaying to himself the word he muttered.
Realizing that what has just slipped out
is not just some expletive -
but what he was really thinking about.
Not that we didn’t know before.
James has always adored breasts -
the bigger the better
(He met his girlfiend’s
several seconds before he met her!)
Gonagle talks about tits -
and other bits - a lot.
But that’s not
what this is
which is
pure, uncensored, inner conscious thought
expounded in a way we we have been taught
it ought not.
And though it brings mirth and smiles
to his mates’ faces
there are places where
its manifestation may cause upheaval,
if not downright social devastation.
Such as
once, when in the presence of his Granny,
the bold Gonagle was heard to audibly sigh
“aaaah! Little pink fannies!”
I swear!
And so did others there.
But while some would be unkind about this
I consider it reassuring to find
such things are what’s on a man’s mind
most of the time at least –
the gently horny nature of the beast.
And no doubt, what’s true of one
is true of many.
A syndrome.
I call it ‘Gonagle’s Tourettes’
And I think I’ll get it published.
Any bets?
Author notes
...Tourette's was once considered a rare and bizarre syndrome, most often associated with the exclamation of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks (coprolalia)....
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I have said before and will say again, I love poems that are like short stories-- you have such an eye for characters and situations, combined with, as Lad said, your likable straightforward style, makes for enjoyable reading indeed. The subject matter is unique, to say the least, and your handling of it, with gentle humor, is nothing short of brilliant.
This one had some genuinely hysterical bits-- I like "He met his girlfriend's several seconds before he met her!" Cute.
And the concluding stanza wrapped it all up nicely.
Did you ever see the film Boondock Saints? It's a great movie-- it takes place in Boston, so naturally, most of the characters are Irish. There's an Irish bar tender with Tourtette's whose outburst shocks the hell out of a couple of nuns. Best line though? "Why don't you make like a tree? And GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Cracks me up every time.
Cheers,
Lauren
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Glad you liked this one - I thought you might!
Sex and humour both - it had to be up your street. Without giving away too much, Gonagle, though a pseudonym, really exists. I do call his condition 'Gonagle's Tourettes' and I suspect he's not the only man (or woman) to suffer from this condition. Dave has already fessed up on this score. Anything you'd like to get off your chest? Father Windhover is hearing confessions shortly! Thanks for the comment ! >W<
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Neat take on a nasty syndrome, Bird.
As usual with your likeable style, I like the anecdotal quality of it, layered with aborted personal anecdotals that are strung along lightly and satisfyingly wrapped up at the end.
I also like the way you skilfully separated Tourette's from Gonagle, letting the bloke simply be who he delightfully is, a guy "whose inner self comes out to play" - great line. You are a true humanist, John, with a heart for unpredictable eccentricities. So, what's among the best about the poem for me is its big heart.
Anyway, stringing us along with "I'll get to that..." stuff is fun for me - the distracted mind of a poet who's got lots of topics up his sleeve and can't decide when to pull them out, though he does in the end. (In casual conversations, I often drive people up the wall with my diversions on the way to the point, so I'm with the poet's voice on that one!) The hints of the poet's own "small seepages" (e.g., that delicious "fuck me") of his own mind are THE best of the poem.
What I don't like about the poem is that, for me, it takes much too long too get where it's going, whereas a tighter format will do that job without losing its theme and appeal. I hate it when people tell me to cut lines (what? my labored, lovely lines?), but I'll pester you with this:
I'd think about omitting lines 72-76, 81-82, 87 and the "And" of 88. If you can't agree, no problem. But you might consider it. I don't think anything of importance to the poem would be lost.
All in all, I like this little narrative - its jolly kindness to old Gonagle and its "publishing syndrome" of an honest poet. And, the "tits" joke is rich. AND, bet you could get this published after all!
Lad -
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Thanks Lad
as always your comment is studied and thorough and hugely gratifying to receive. Indeed no poem of mine feels finished anymore til it's had a once over from your good self. Thanks for all the positive words. I'm going to stand my ground on the negative ones on this occasion, feeling as I do you're arguing against yourself a bit, since you understand that this one is MEANT to ramble much as almost all we poets do all the time. The lines you would omit are important in that half the difficulty of this poem is drawing the distinction between Gonagle's Tourettes and the real thing. I'm particularly fond of line 87 for that reason. Gonagle has no intention of shocking or being aggressive or even horny. He just loves women's ...bits! Which is not to say I'm not hugely gratified by your thoughtful input. Thanks as always my friend. >W< -
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Now that I'm back in better sorts, John...
...I see exactly what you mean by the intentional rambling. I'm glad you liked my pro comments and rejected my con comments. Your sharp poetic sense wins the day.
I just read it all again -delightful just as is.
Lad
Now I'll catch up on your newest ones.
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so thats whats wrong with me
for years i've blurted out words (to myself) and if friends are around they ask me what i said causing an awkard explanation and strangers stare at me like I'm bloomin nuts. a girlfried mis-diagnosed me with Tourettes because she was so embarrassed when i did that. but now thanks to you Dr. Windover I'll stare right back at em and tell I have Gonagles or Windovers Syndrome, I'm so ever indebted to you. Now I'm going to blab my ass off (to myself) and i no longer have to be ashamed.
dave. Rewarded 8
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Hey Ochs - YOU'RE the doctor!
Glad you could relate to this one - supports my theory that what's true of one etc. Maybe I really do have a syndrome on my hands. You didn't say if put my case well or otherwise, but I'll take this comment as a positive from Dr. Ochs!
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Very very good. Amusing and insightful. My favourite bit in terms of imagery was lines 35-39 Rather he exhibits and displays / small seepages- / words that leak from his lips / when he’s distracted / and his inner self comes out to play. but the bit that made me smile the most was lines 62 & 63 (He met his girlfiend’s / several seconds before he met her!) The rhyme scheme remains tight and the poem flows well. Going off-topic just makes it more charming. You've created two just interesting characters, the narrater and Mr James Gonagle. The only minor minor thing I would suggest would be lines 81 & 82 don't flow as well as I believe they could. The rhyme of 'swear' and 'there' are perhaps too close togeher? Perhaps it's the ambiguity of line 82. Did they swear at the time of Mr Gonagle's outburst or do they swear they indeed heard the outburst? But this is just a little thing. This is a fantastic poem!
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Good comment, thank you.
It's always gratifying to hear someone liked a poem but it's only useful if they tell you why, so thank you on both counts. I'll have a look at lines 81 and 82 and see if I can't improve them. I'm glad you liked the characters - James is a nice guy!
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Bravo Doctor Windhover!!!
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