They weren't there a century ago.
A dam stopped up the valleys at Poulaphouca
and they began to fill.
Those displaced called it an ill wind,
yet it blew much good,
despite the ghostly spectacle
of things like a church spire slowly disappearing
like Excalibur reclaimed.
Or things of wood -
beds and household goods
mysteriously surfacing months later,
floating
still and serene
on a lake
where once a village had been.
Crossing its bridges I wonder -
were they built before that flood -
or after?
It gives me cause for laughter
to think of them high and dry
waiting for the engineers to let fly
with the taps.
Did they scrutinize the maps,
plan each detail?
I picture a small boat with a sail
sitting in a green field,
its captain poised and waiting.
Nearby, an oarsman with a smaller boat,
his fishing line, hooks and float
neatly laid on the grass and ready to go,
prepared to make a killing.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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How do you like the changes? I think this is much tighter
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Hello
I enjoyed reading htis poem because it made me think of all the people in villages and cities that have had their home destroyed. very good =]
--Tori
. Rewarded 4
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very good, makes you think.
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The second stanza is the strongest for me. The images of the church steeple disappearing like "Excalibur reclaimed" is a good one as are the images of empty beds and household goods floating serenely on the surface.
To depart on what I said earlier, I've reread this several more times and now believe the rhyme works quite well. The author's sense of humor and the absurdity of a whole town disappearing beneath a lake make a great juxtaposition to the ordered meter and mirrored sounds.
It's simply this one man's opinion, but I still think that the poem would be stronger without the first stanza and the last two lines. The poet already says what the first four lines say much more effectively in stanza two; and the last two lines are just a matter of personal taste that the author can ignore or not.
Overall, I like the poem. It has that sense of absurdity and futility but with a sense of humor. Good write. -
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Absurdity and humour were what I aimed for here and I'm glad that came across.I don't make changes lightly but a well placed edit can transform a poem and many of what I consider my best were edited several times. I looked seriously at your suggestions, more seriously than perhaps I normally would, having the respect for your own work that I do. And I found I agreed. The removal of superflous statement is always a plus. Trusting the imagination and savvy of one's reader is always the right way to go. So I edited - not all, but most of your suggestions went in.Thanks.
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Very interesting thought. I like the way you established the dichotomy of viewpoints. If nature were not indifferent to man the water would not have reclaimed the church, should it find its way into a crack it would drain the lake just as well. The fish, fishermen, and settlements would follow the water as well. The poem flowed with the water.
. Rewarded 6
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You give me too much credit
Thank you for your interesting and considered reply here Stoneage. I'm always fascinated by the different possible 'takes' there are on poetry, as with all art. Yours ascribes me a depth of thought and intelligence well beyond me. I feel quite clever now! Thank you sincerely. >W<
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I hope they unloaded the library first...
John, this is seamless in a sly kind of way, very offhanded and informed without being pedantic or overweening. A tour guide whose first love is T.S. Eliot and I also think of Philip Larkin. I come from country where villages and towns have been submerged and it's always contained a bit of mystery and doom. I admire how easy this is, unstrained and natural delivery. It's something like what I would have expected from Mark Twain on assignment in Ireland. I've wanted to see those lakes (british {irish} ever since I read those ancient tomes of the Lake Poets. Well done, and all that. Cheers, MJ. Rewarded 8
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Fascinating. As you know, I am intrigued by bodies of water, so this poem was a treat for me. This reminded me of the scene in "O, Brother Where Art Thou," where household items go floating away in a flood, for the same reason-- a dam is unleashed allowing for a hydroelectric plant.
This poem just flows so effortlessly, just like its subject matter. The rhymes are soft, and it has a nice rhythm. I especially like the imaginary scene at the end. It brought a smile.
A very good write, John.
Cheers,
Lauren
. Rewarded 8
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when nature attacks
its always interesting when a place gets wiped out, like Pompei in italy from the volcano and you visit and see the remnants. it makes you think of the people and society that where there and how they lived and you captured this nicely.
dave. Rewarded 4
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yeah, wiping out places is cool, me and God agree about that.
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A poet's imagination...
...that is, John's imagination floating over this water and at play. I like it. I like its tone of calm rejection of all the ballyhoo and curses that went on as "the engineers let fly / with the taps" (would - no the - "engineers let fly / with their taps" be better? minor point).
The third stanza is a gem of free seeing, and as you've imaged the "high and dry" bridges, expectant "small boat" and "smaller boat" (nice), I can see the poet thoroughly enjoying his "silly"ness, and why not? over such beauty as these new lakes.
And, "Excalibur reclaimed" is just plain wonderful.
I enjoyed this one as much as the poet does - now that's good writing in my book.
Lad
. Rewarded 8
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Another preview ...
..of your visit to Ireland, Lad! Google 'Blessington lakes or 'Poulaphouca reservoir' to see how beautiful a place I get to ride my bike around over here. I DO always think this silly thought when I ride my bike across the (relatively new) bridges up there. It was the news today about the lake in Russia disappearing down some amazing natural plughole that actually re-inspired this, kind of inverse image of that event. Imagine if you'd been in a boat there when God pulled the plug in his bath! It's all about that silly image really. Thanks for commenting as always. >W<
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