The season turns
and change is in the air
and in my being
and in my life
Revolution
Not a battering at the gates
not a clamouring
of the heart
but the turn of a wheel
inexorable
I am that wheel
This is not a start
nor yet an ending.
But a road that is wending,
it twists and turns depending
on trails unknown
made short because
I never walked alone -
was ever sure its route would take me
home.
So if with revolution now I burn -
the wheel rotates again
and then
returns.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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The Wheel of Fortune turns and turns. . . life in its unending cycle, the ouroboros-- these are the things that flashed in my mind as I read this piece. Your description of revolution as not some single, incendiary event but a gradual shifting of fortunes is so true to life. And sometimes, WE burn instead of the Bastille.
Your signature rhyme schemes work well with this piece, its musing, somewhat meandering tone. I don't think it's one of your best, but I do like it, especially the final word.
XOXO,
Lauren -
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Thank You Circularpie
As always you've 'got' just about anything there is to 'get' here. Ouroboros indeed. Are you saying I'm up my own ass? Ha Ha. We've both been hanging with gG too much. Yes, it does meander a bit, as do I. But the nature of poetic thought is always somewhat ephemeral, like a butterfly you can't really catch without damaging. So glad you pointed out the final word. Only you, Cutiepie! Lovely to have your comment as always. xx >W<
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this was a good read and good choice of picture!
i really felt what u were saying
i especially liked "Not a battering at the gates
not a clamouring
of the heart
but the turn of a wheel" - strong words and good clear imagery.
good job!. Rewarded 4
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Thanks Lostvirtue...
..for finding the time (and patience) to read and comment >W<
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Hey W!!!
this is very strong. I liked the pace and breaks in the stanzas as if you pondered as you wrote. The picture is also effective as a contrast between the external battle and the internal wheel of change. I loved the last stanza and then the one worded end. Very well put ending and you know (hopefully) that I try to be honest about what I like and dont like about poems posted.
See you soon W.
. Rewarded 8
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Much appreciated A.
Thank you for emphasizing your sincerity here A, it was very much appriciated even thought it was in no way needed - I value your comment, good or bad, immensely. I'm glad this one worked for you. I wonder did you notice, given the context, how closely the last word resembles the title (I often try and make the last word the title for some reason)
Great to have you read and comment as always. See you soon >W<
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I like this!
Hmm... I tihink this is a rather internal revolution. Also, I really liked your desccriptive passsages and otherwise the emotional airing. Onnce again, bravo! -
Really good.
I like the poem and the image you chose it is so apropiate.Revolution it is a suggesting word and used in so many ways.It is important to know whta causes a revolution, wich is not a capriche or controlled wills...revolutions starts whrn unjustice, cruelness,privations, desolation and isolation take over.
When all this comes to the Climax...the revolution it is aout to start...can be an spiritual, polithical or Social revolution.The will to change...to be no more silenced, to be no more insulted, to be no more undervalued....etc
Your poems tals about Internal Revolution and without them any other will be possible.Love it.I think this poem is showing a change of style in you?Thanks for considering my opinion.ludmila607.
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Thanks Ludmila
Your comments are always very flattering and very welcome. Yes, this is a slightly different style for me. I think the subject lends itself to fairly grandiose speech. I worried it would sound pompous or affected - but I seem to have got away with it. Thank you again for reading and commenting. >W<
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to me, this means internal revolution - and that is one of my favorite topics to ponder on.
i really loved reading this, very reassuring to me.
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Internal revolutions are the only ones worth thinking about. We can't usually change the world - just ourselves. The meaning of the word itself is reassuring when you consider it. 'Revolution' tend to inspire worry about upheaval, disruption, even violence. The idea that is, after all, only a rotation and that we end up back in the same place - the right place - intrigues me. We all resist change so hard. It makes us step out of our comfort zone. Doing something that scares you is usually very rewarding - once you've taken it on and gotten it done. But I waffle. Thanks for the comment A. >W<
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Hi, John.
I commented at length yesterday on this fine poem, liking it immensely - its revolving play with circling life, and the poet confidently finds his way home through it all. But the comment got zapped by a 12007 error. So rather than try to re-create it, I'll just say bravo...again!
Lad. Rewarded 6
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Well done, Windhover :)
This poem came across to me as striving towards something new, though it holds no sure promise, for the sake of improvement and progress. All of this rings and burns with such hope. It came across differently than a war constructed only of mindless/pointless killing.
"The season turns
and change is in the air
and in my being
and in my life
Revolution"
The beginning sounds breathlessly free. Good way to introduce the subject.
"Not a battering at the gates
not a clamouring
of the heart
but the turn of a wheel"
This is a nice stanza. I get the sense that something different is in the air from it. A revolution is such a powerful thing in many many ways.
"...it twists and turns depending
on trails unknown
made short because
I never walked alone -
was ever sure its route would take me
home."
Lovely. Just lovely. The separated format of your words serve the poem well. It adds to the feeling of it, by giving it a slow and quick moving concept at the same time. I think you described a revolution and it's meaning very well, throughout.
And the ending is strong because it suggests even if you are lost, what you strove towards will make a difference. Very nice, poem, Windhover.
I enjoyed reading.
. Rewarded 8
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Cheers Synth.
Isn't it funny how you can suddenly hear such a simple word and realize you never really considered its real meaning. I think all life is a bit the same. Sometimes you look at the sky, the same one that's been there every day of your life and you just go 'wow!'. It's poetry. Thanks for reading and commenting. >W<
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hey john
the extended metaphor of revelution as a vechile to carry us thru the journey of life is really excellent. its interesting you note how revelution "returns" even with the "stroming of the bastille type revelution eventually things return to their prior condition which calls for revelution.
a poem of the highest order.
dave. Rewarded 6
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Hey Dave
I must confess that as I wrote this one I was thinking 'Ochs will HATE this one - it's so grandiose and flowery.' But something about the subject just seemed to demand that tone and I went with it. I know you'd say if you didn't like it or at least simply not comment at all. So I'm dead chuffed you read and liked it and said so. Cheers. >W<
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What goes around comes around...
What strikes me most in this is the serenity W. Almost like a Buddhist meditation on the wheel of life. Even with the painting of heroic struggle at the head I think not so much of radical change as the cyclical nature of life. Also of Ecclesiastes - 'There is a time for every purpose under heaven'. And along with revolution I sense resolution, a resolve to wilfully surrender to fate. Wise and giving. Cheers - MJ. Rewarded 8
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On the money MJ
The picture reflects the classic associations with the word - the poem my own reflections on the word , its meaning and the nature of its being. Thanks for reading, commenting and being so 'on the money'. My Best. >W<
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I think this is something to which we can all relate. I like the rhythm and the rhyme, but I think that the message is the most important part. Without revolution, where would we be?
A very good poem.. Rewarded 4
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Thank you Siaynoq...
...for reading and commenting so positively. The poem reflects that revolution is an ongoing process for which violence is not always neccessary, and on that the word itself reflects that. Thanks again. >W<
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John...
I get the feeling of home and family in this poem and somehow I'm feeling sad -- missing my mom and those so far from me... (I'm a softy, what can i say, LOL!)
I like the pacing too, but of course you are always good at it.
I just wish my wheel over here won't get a flat tire, not unless there's a handyman ready to offer a hand.
love it.
SpinningThoughts
. Rewarded 6
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Sentimentalthoughts
Hi Sweetie, how nice to see your face in my place. I'm glad you caught that feeling of home here but sorry you can't celebrate with me as you'd wish. How are you by the way? Is your muse ready to peek out from hibernation? Always lovely to see you around and especially to have you comment. This one was conspicuous by the absence of any sort of naughtiness or facetiousness. But then I should count my blessings I suppose! Glad you liked it Lynne. Be well. J.
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Hi gG ! Nice to see your macabre mug malingering near my muse and thanks for the review. To be described by you as an inspiring peer is a compliment I instantly relished but should perhaps reflect upon! I jest of course. I'm glad you caught my sanguine mood here. The poem is a personal reflection on the word of its title. It's a bit of a scary word. But it shouldn't be. As I get older I fear change - even though change has always worked out well for me. = I think that's all I was trying to say.
Of course, I adopted your suggestions. I'd love to see any ramblings you cared to pen as a result of any reflections you may have had. Thanks as always.
>W< -
Calm Torqueing.
Slow gradual change can also as you so succinctly (and almost slyly) state can bear seeds of an overhaul of revolutionary standards, Windhover. Somehow I can picture you thinking this one whilst engrossed in the spinning spokes of the well-used bicyclewheel you eat up the miles with.
I liked the external juxtaposing internal change here - the (on several levels) cyclical nature of growth. Your spacing adds perfectly to the inhale/exhale rhythm which in turn underscores the essential calmness of serene mutability.
Do you mind a slight quibble?
Line 14s and 16s "ending"? Just a suggestion:
nor yet an ending.
But a road that is wending,
it twists and turns depending
On trails unknown
Frames outgrown....
Ok Ok!! Whew I almost took off on a rendition of my own there for a sec. It´s fun to have inspiring peers though!
Cheers John. Calm reflective work, mate.
gGiddy up
. Rewarded 8
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