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"Night-time"

Neifling curses, nine times nine
Ignorance feeding ignorance
Great men facing giants
Holding ten poles all of a height
Tightly testing
|
Tenuous resolve, lightning fear residing
In each heart, instantly
Making each a more
Earnest expression of life.

Please tell me what you think

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Reviews


  • Lad silver member
    August 19, 2007

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    I get a general sense here, six...

    of the contrast between "men" of "ignorance" trying to face the forceful terrors of the "Night-time" with useless, defiant force. And then, in the second full stanza, "I" (you the poet) and others, attempting to face that night more humbly, more honestly, with "lightning fear..." That's probably way off your intentions in the poem, but it's the best I can do.

    I don't get "Neifling" or the numbers or poles at all; what are they imaging? And the whole poem, although technically fascinating with its internal rhymes and brief lines, seems, to me at least, to be a riddle rather than a poem. But that's just my opinion, six. The poem could be revised to be more open to meaning, but I'm also open to being clarified, too.

    The poem is intriguingly intricate; it reminds me of some of the brilliant French imagist poems, like those by Rimbaud, but frustratingly opaque, or perhaps intentionally so. What am I missing as to its basic meaning - or were you simply going after forceful sounds in strong images? which DO work well. Sorry, I'm generally lost!!

    Lad

    . Rewarded 8


  • xdisturbedxemotions
    August 19, 2007

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    Ummm.

    Im not getting much of this, i would have to agree with Lad that this is more of a riddle than a poem and i as well dont understand the numbers. If you could make this easier to understand it might sound better or if you clarify your writing. thats just my opinion though.


    Tori

    . Rewarded 6