when anger begins to boil the words
so they splutter and spit
like a kettle
choking on its own song
when there are just too many
words
but still not enough to capture the
thoughts
that spring hot and myriad
like bitter popcorn
banging on a pot-lid
when not one of a million
hard and heated syllables
can pass my lips
I sit silent and seethe
waiting
to breathe
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Lol I find this funny for some unknown reason. I can simply imagine you getting pissed-off. XP It makes me giggle!
As for the poem. It speaks truth...I like the ending.
=]
Ash -
Good begining good ending
I like this poem.I have taken a break to read more cause i was lossing capacity to read and write a complete critique.Well I will call it a comment...not critique...
well I like this from the first line to the last.Metaphores and images are greatly elaborated.You evoque many emotions.Good written.
-
I used to work at a movie theatre, so the popcorn imagery really really rings true to me. I especially like the ending - sometimes to breathe is all we can really do, the best thing to do, when we're angry.
well done
-
Good one John...
The first stanza is a gem, I really like the rhythm and the sybillants that give us the sound of steam rushing to escape its confines. And the frustration of the ending waiting for the heat to somehow go down so you can release what´s inside. Also like the slanted rhyme of myriad and lid. Cheers, mj. Rewarded 6
-
Excellent all the way.
If this beauty is a result of a dry spell, may you have many more! I like every word, every nuance. And believe me, I've been on that stove many times, along with you. All of it is perfectly imaged in fine inner and outer rhymes, and, as is your style, those single-lined words are placed just right.
I really liked that paradox of 'too many' and 'not enough' in the second stanza: that takes skill (along with a strong dose of personal experience) and I admire it. And your usual mastery of spiraling the poem's thoughts from 'boil, sputter and spit', through 'bitter popcorn', and down to 'hard and heated syllables' and 'waiting' / to breathe' is satisfying to read.
Might there be a less-prosaic title? since "Anger" is clearly the poem's theme. Something like "Over the Coals" or "Fired Up" or some such. But that's a mere and minor suggestion, John; ignore at will if you wish.
On a personal note, lately I've discovered that, rather than holding my anger in, I let the damn thing explode, and it's nearly always gone in a few minutes. Done wonders for my now-fading ulcer! But I still enjoyed the poem as a true picture of kept-back anger, and I still know the feeling of 'waiting / to breathe.'
Really good poem, all the way.
Lad. Rewarded 8
-
hey stranger!
....and why do you always read my thoughts?
hi john, how are you? Indeed, it's been a long time, and thanks by the way for the comment on my last post.
I found myself nodding in agreement while I was reading this poem, hehe. Probably because many times, I can relate to it. And usually, when my hubby and I argue, he feels kinda relaxed when I'm still talking and stuff, but once I get silent, he feels threatened. hehe. Sometimes he doesn't know, I'm just taking a pause, to breathe. LOL!
I like the images you have described here, on how anger boils up, and then pops out so suddenly. Kinda funny, actually. I like it very much.
Personally, I think anger is one of, if not the, most stressful emotion a person can go through. I'm just glad that I as I age/mature, I have learned to sometimes, at least set aside the anger and divert my attention to something else. Mind over matter -- to think first, and then strive to be as flexible as possible. Whew. Toughie.
Love the color and the picture, too, John.
See you around, be well.
L
. Rewarded 8
-
-
Sympatheticthoughts?
Hey Scribbler. Maybe the reason I read your thoughts is you scribble them all over this site - and isn't reading them the general idea? I wanted the poem to convey that sense of apoplexy, so much stuff trying to get out that less rather than more actually does. Until, as apparently happens with you as well, absolutely NOTHING does. And I believe your hubby is wise to fear you most when you are quietest. I don't know if I've 'read' your thoughts here - but I do hope I've expressed them - even if it is scary for you to think you may have real stuff in common with someone as weird as me! I know I find it scary to think I have so much in common with someone as weird as you! But hell, we poets have to take risks and boldly go etc. ! See you around Sympatheticthoughts ! xxx >W<
-
-
Easy to relate and to the point. Nice work.
-
a very expressive write, getting the point across with your words in such a small amount of time, great job
. Rewarded 4
-
-
Thank You
Thanks for reading and commenting Cindyanne, very much appreciated. >w<
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
