This beach is red
with sand from stones as old as Earth.
Our grey sea, long ago,
reduced the granite peaks to dunes
and today,
amongst its other leavings - broken shell and weed
and the casts of worms
and the remnants of ships
and tar
and plastic bags with holes
and other such essential fragments of our times
there lies that archetypal thing we hope and fear to find
as we comb beaches in dreams.
A bottle;
some thing half-glass,
(half God-knows, you'd get no penny)
but weathered, pounded by seas and storms unknown
so now, not clear;
yet with its cork in-tight
it had bested the elements
refused its destiny to fill and drown and end its time
in the deep.
Inside,
this slip of white.
You could just see
that someone, who knows where,
had written something in hope or in despair
and trusted it to God and the world.
And in my hand I held
this miracle of survival against the tide
and all the whims of nature;
and heavy in my hand it lay, a sign that all may yet be well
when darkness falls.
And so I say to you,
whoever you are or were
your call has triumphed over all your trials,
for someone honours it.
And even if the ink were blood
disappearing as we read
or the salt wind ripped it from our hand
even if your words were wrought
in tongues
this act did not go unseen,
nor does your courage.
These words found harbour;
all, all else is faith
and sand.
Author notes
For A.
What would you do with a message in a bottle?
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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a niece piece
wow full applause to this poem.but i didnt like the end.you chose a realy deep philosphy to write about.u picturises thru ur words.and mke a story out of a veru comman tale.keep on the good work
. Rewarded 4
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Well, first of all I would have to read it! nicely done verse.....full of mystery and insight. The lines flow together well.........LD
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A Tribute to Spirit
Even though this poem is written in free verse, it has a subtle rhythm and lilt that gives the sensation of the movement of the sea. I like the way you created the setting for the bottle by describing the detritus washed ashore and the comments you directed toward the unknown person who wrote the note, preserving the importance of what had been written rather than simply casting away the bottle amonst all the other "leftovers".
You do an excellent job with imagery and I could easily imagine myself as the person walking along the beach and coming upon the bottle.
Lovely work! Dannan
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Thanks Dannan
Glad you made it all the way to our chilly sea. Best RA
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hey there
I always wanted to find a message in a bottle since I was a little kid, so to read this was kind of like a trip of the mind to an imaginary scenario, like a dream. Very neat. Glad to see a poem can do that to a person. There really isn't anything that I can say without sounding exactly like I'm copying everybody else on this one b/c there are so many comments already, Looks like I got here too late. But very good common idea that was taken to a new level b/c the artist writing has tremendous skill. Congrats and good job! Hope to talk to ya later.
Peace out
Jay
. Rewarded 8
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Brilliant one, dear Riveralex… *Applause*
What message I got from this poem is – balancing one’s idea with faith and reality is not so easy. The bottle hitting the shore – sand – leaves the message that the message has reached the world, but the amount of faith the soul that wrote the message and sent it via corked bottle disturbed my mind and soul more than my curiosity to know about the unrevealed message.
Best!!!!
Love
-Kiddy
. Rewarded 8
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great poem
the conntrast between the dignity of the ancient evolution of the earth and the modern era garbage that man has dumped and left behind is excellent. Telling us about the message in the bottle without revealing it's contents was also good. The theme of faith was woven excellently within this mosaic.
Good work,
~Rich
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Hey Riveralex!
Well, I won’t rehash all the comments but my favourite was “there lies that archetypal thing we hope and fear to find as we comb beaches in dreams.”
That is true poetry! Terrific imagery and wit. The rest of the poem is very well written also but his line is one that stuck with me throughout the poem
Great read
Bill
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We Are The Corked Bottles
Being a reader and lover of poetry, I found very rare poems as this is, I mean with the depth of its meanings for it is unusually profound and bears multi-facets for each reading of it explores its hidden recesses more and more. The poetess does not stand on beach but on the beach of time for every gesture, metaphorically refers to the durability of time and fleetingness of other objects. The very opening of the poem refers to the redness: enormous bloodshed executed in the form of unjust killings and wars and still waves of the capricious sea of time leap more to victimize humanity. The sea beach depicts devastation and the total decay of every object, men and women of the world whose hearts swell with pride and arrogance, with continuous slaps of waves turn into perforated bags of polythene: quite worthless. Men and women of the world take along back the bottles of their hearts with corks shut tight. We live in this world. We spend a considerable time among our relations, our friends but neither we uncork the bottles of hearts, nor dare peep into the hearts of other fellow beings. We take back intact, unconsumed and unexchanged whatever we bring and it is the major tragedy of time. Everything is an object to decay but the sea of time along with its waves, red sand and stones, is imperishable, it is the final message of the poem. There is much more in the poem that only the eyes of a sharp critic may explore. Good luck
Muhammad Shanazar
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A fine, fine poem Alex...
above all I totally admire the lyrical movement and rhythm of it. The message at the end is more staggered than the really fine first two stanzas but really loses nothing in its flow. I'm a sucker for internal rhyme, not much for sing-song end rhyme and I'm giving this the highest praise I have at my command, the first stanza, especially, but all through this has echoes of my doggone favortitest poet of all time Gerard Manley Hopkins. flow flow flow and glide. If it weren't already spotlighted I'd put in my vote for it hitting that spot. My full admiration - Gosh. MJ -
this is a finely beautiful piece. not a word out of place...not a beat missed. from the soul of a poet...and i cannot give higher praise than this. a pleasure to read. LD
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We all do it, cast a bottle into the ocean. Not actually, but in our lives we make choices based on faith, mostly they work out in the end. A very enjoyable read, thank you.
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We certainly do...
I think perhaps writers may do this more than most and maybe that;s why it seems so important to honour. Best to you RA
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I would try to get the message to its owner i loved that someone somewhere maybe in alot of pain needed to share her pain or confession with god to release all that built up pain and maybe live may be die but was free from the struggles of life
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Ah Balderdash!
I came hither with the express intention of imparting a useful comment on a thoroughly enchanting piece of poetry but I was sidelined by a link that led me to some perfectly apt (for my vine-induced mood) music lilting and softly echoing around my skull still. But it does however lend appreciation to the lyrical qualities inherent if not always, to this dullard, apparent in your pieces.
The Scottish flavour is here RA, a mystical isle, a beachy head, a deep grey miasmic sea hiding secrets only an adept might fathom - a mystery which like Loch Ness compells an unresolved attitude towards.
"These words found harbour", yeah as faith like sand runs through my fingers.
Akin to a message unadumbrated, unresolved, unread even as I await a closure that is not to be.
Regards
gG
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Unadumbrated?
Only someone with a classical education could possibly appreciate the depths of your disappointment. Best RA -
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Hahahah
Yeah. I think that was the vino talking riveralex - adumbrated (a sketch/outline of an idea) without the "un" would´ve fit the hazy mystical feel your fine poem evoked in me.
No classical education for this "shirking-class hero" I´m afraid - of common stock and dutifully proud of it.
Regards
gG
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Impressively beautiful
Operates at so many levels at once.
Beautifully written RA
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"faith and sand" and a crusted bottle is all ye know on earth and all ye need to know. So, Keats. Now the Beatles: Let it be. I get both those feelings from this wonderfully executed poem, RA, with all its raw and real images of a grey sea across the pond to around Scotland. For me, all the lines and words work to create mystery, the mysterious being of someone who once wanted to say something to anyone.
I suppose that if I found that bottle of "half-glass" and "half God-knows" I'd read the message, replace it in the bottle, and throw the 'whole' thing back into the sea for another to see. Then it would be my message too.
Delightful read, alex. An up-to-date vision of what your Bobby Burns used to do so well; yours is an original too.
Lad. Rewarded 8
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Sounds like Arbroath
I have often walked the Angus shore. Found many things, but what a delight it would be to find a message bottle. As long as the note was not of desperation. Thoughtful work.
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It was certainly Scotland!!
The Angus shore is, I think a bit more picturesque however! Glad you liked it, best RA
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Hey RA, I liked this whole idea, idk what I'd do with a message in a bottle b/c I haven't come across one yet, probably read it. I liked that it was loaded with imagery, I live in the states so i've never seen a grey sea before. I like that there's still mystery left for everybody to think what they'd like. I enjoy it when a poem can do that, makes it more universal, congrats.
TTYL
MM
. Rewarded 8
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Hi MM
Glad you connected, yes the mystery was part of what i was trying to created around the central idea, best to you... and we have grey seas here in abundance, our country IS awash with iron grey in the winters particularly - come and see it sometime! It's wonderful and wild. Nice to hear from you. Kind regards RA -
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Hey RA
Yes it is definately a dream of mine to one day cross the great sea and make a trip over there. Love everything i've heard, except of course the abundance of horror fables about backpackers lol. I wish you the best. And by the way, did you really find a message in a bottle or was it just an idea taken from stories? I'd be curious to know if there was a real bottle, did YOU open it?
MM -
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I hope you don't mind...
... but I'm not going to tell... Best RA
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WoW Alex...
This is so packed with imagery.
I felt like I was walking on the beach seeing all those things...finding the bottle and having hope.
The act never goes unseen..well it shouldnt in my opinion
This is so well written, really captivating and holding my attention
Perfect expressive wording
Cindy
. Rewarded 6
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Thought provoking
Alex, I thought this was great. The scene is wonderfully set, solid and realistic. I've never imagined the beach so 'grey' or the bottle so crusty and repugnant in this clicheed and iconic scenario. Great work here. Yet the contents remain so intriguing, mysterious and ambiguous. I really wanted to know! Yet I'm glad you didn't tell. All art should deepen the mystery and this one does so, leaving the reader room to explore their own issues. For me, at least a little of it smacks of what we're all about here. Every poem is a message in a bottle of a kind. (This particular beach is patrolled and I look out for bottles with faded Irn Bru labels particularly!) In which regard I particularly liked your last line and how it related back to the earlier discussion on the nature of sand. Thought provoking, mysterious and downright interesting poem. Well done. >W<
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well, W, I've already told you the secret...
... and the mystery seems to have caught your imagination so I 'm not going to write it here for all to see! Glad you, who have a knowledge of grey seas, found the intrigue, well, intriguing! Best RA
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