She's got it.
It’s all over her
that thing
that some women
always wear
like a veil
or an illness
the allure
of something impure
she’s unsure
and it’s infectious
She exudes heat
and undercurrents.
She makes him
stare
Does he dare
approach
when its so clear
he doesn’t really
care?
She’s simply
there
and that’s enough.
What is it about her
makes him sure
she’d like it
rough -
that he should simply
dispense
with all that lovey-dovey
stuff
and whisper
‘I want you’.
Why is it
she looks so restless
in those clothes
always tugging
and smoothing
and fixing
and loosening?
He wants to help her
with that.
He wants to stroke
this pussy cat
and feel it purr.
She says
‘so what are you looking at?’
Author notes
APOLOGY.I can't reply to comments on this poem as the site offers only a I digit wide 'box' in which to do so, too thin to even 'paste' into. Sorry to all and thanks for reading. >W<
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Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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A great expansion on lust
In my view, this poem is all about lust. But it takes that one word, that one idea, and draws it out into a full examination of the moment. You've artistically turned one word into many, and stayed true to the essence of the word. Very nice job! -
I can't say for sure...
... but i think this guy got a little hot under the collar (!!??)) and I like the picture, the confusions he feels which of course he projects onto the object of his desire... who then, abruptly, squashes the fantasy. I particularly like your lines
Why is it
she looks so restless
in those clothes
always tugging
and smoothing
and fixing
and loosening?
You can just see our hero screwing up his courage(!) Delightfully done Best RA. Rewarded 8
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soo naughty, soo hot! wow!
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Naughty by nature. . .
. . . Body by Victoria.
Hi, stranger. For foreplay, a little verbal sparring is always nice. "So what are you looking at?" isn't necessarily a rejection-- just a little to push to see if you push back. I hope you at least got her number. . .?
I like it when you're naughty, John, and this poem has just the right blend of humor and eroticism. I agree with Simon's assessment, that there's something cinematic about this piece. The woman would be played by some femme fatale, Ava Gardener, perhaps, or any of the Bond girls-- as she speaks, her eyebrow goes up and her full lips curl into a sneer that says both, "stay away" AND "come hither." Yep, some women have "it," and always will.
I also agree with others' comments about how well this piece flows-- goes down like a shot, hot and smooth as its subject. You literally make the reader feel as if he (or she) is standing right next to you in a smoky bar, listening to your whispered questions:
"What is it about her
makes him sure
she’d like it
rough [?]"
and
"Why is it
she looks so restless
in those clothes
always tugging
and smoothing
and fixing
and loosening?"
Rhetorical questions are all well and good, but I think demonstrations are much more fun.
XXX,
Lauren
. Rewarded 8
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"Are You Lookin At Me?"
And here´s lookin at you, Kid! Despite the able-bodiced image I felt there was something cinematic to the lines. A peeping Tom oogling from an unsafe distance. The Invisible Man in the Girl´s Shower, suddenly visible - caught inflagrante.
A woman unobtrusively observed in a pub perhaps, suddenly turns around seeing the lascivious fantasies written all over the discovered starer´s face and to his utter mortification she speaks to him!
He becomes uncomfortably aware of the bulge in his jeans (you know, the ones with the dodgy zipper) and the guinness dribbling down his chin...
Nowaitaminute, either its a classic French porn-flick or I dreamt the same dream Windhover!
"always wear
like a veil
or an illness"
Good stuff!
Cuddliest regards
gGroaner
. Rewarded 8
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Excellent work >W<
Great pic, perfect for the poem.
The piece flowed so well and your recent forming help again show sme the strength in haveing abruptly short lines etc etc
I really liked
--
and that’s enough.
What is it about her
makes him sure
she’d like it
rough -
that he should simply
dispense
with all that lovey-dovey
stuff
and whisper
‘I want you’.
Why is it
she looks so restless
in those clothes
always tugging
and smoothing
and fixing
and loosening?
Good work here >W<
Cindy
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i love this. the way you build up to the end and then ubruptly change it is very teasing. i didn't see that coming! very nice
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har
this is very good.
i can picture myself staring at an alluring woman thinking all this to myself, and then abruptly, she breaks the thoughts with the question, and its on, make hte choice.
very good
. Rewarded 4
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hey W
liked the poem but liked the picture better. anyway silky smooth write, you know when people ask what guys really want, someone they can trust, a good homemaker, mother of children, cook etc, its all bull...this is what we want, ok, ok this is what i want.
dave. Rewarded 6
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O the hot throes of the male imagination, morning's minion. Here's a crack for you: A new study concludes that German men think about sex every 27 seconds; a newer study concludes they think about invading France every sixteen seconds... Sex and invasion: "sure she'd like it rough..." Turns out, just like France, she doesn't want it at all from this poet, or maybe from anyone! Nice job on this one, combining "help"ing and "stroke"ing, "stare"ing and just plain-out taking.
And don't dare think that I don't know the ins and outs of this heated situation; I've encountered many a woman who's "got it" and felt the "allure". Some women, as this salivating poem puts it, just "have it all over her..." Hey, just because I'm on a certain diet doesn't mean I don't peruse the menu.
Good poem, John. It catches all the imaginary details of seduction, however aborted. Love that final line. She may have it, but the poet just got slapped in the face with it. Ow!
Lad. Rewarded 8
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I would never make assumptions like that and I'm sure there are those of your own pesuasion who exude these exact 'vibes' . I'm delighted to have gotten a connection here. You seem to have missed the ambiguity in the punchline though. Is it REALLY a put-d
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Ay-oop, Johnny! That ambiguous ending got right by me, as I take another look now. When I miss 'em, I usually miss 'em by a mile. Nice, sly work there, my friend.
I was only joking, of course, in my other comment - sometimes my jokes miss the mark along with my interpretations...and sometimes even in my poems. Oy veh...another sleepless night coming up.
Later!
Lad
Really liked cpie's take on your poem, the cinematic tone and texture of it - I missed THAT too!
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