Undercover to find a lover,
nervous hands
searching under covers.
Anxious
Trembling fingers come together
leaning towards love.
Living and loving lawlessly,
passionately fearless forever.
Always eager
to touch one another.
Days revolve around each other,
like doors to my lover's heart.
You have bewitched me,
Body and soul.
Infatuation, like hitting my
face on the pavement.
Our pretzeled bodies fusing
the energy of life.
In a nest
Our cocoon
Yearning to taste tenderness
an allegiance of adored affection.
Devoted emotions of worship
and respect.
Relish the rapture
inclined from lust,
to us.
Scents of her linger for hours
intoxicating my mind,
Find no need to smoke
when she's my high
An otherworldy shower
of kisses and flowers,
we came to find.
All the good seems on the way,
with love there are no limits.
These feelings divine
resplendent from the brain to the veins
to the heart.
Freshman love is like
wool over your eyes.
Author notes
This is a step out there for me, trying to express new/first(freshman) love, when you feel like it's all brand new again and everything's great and nothing can go wrong, The innocence of being naive, young, and in love.
In a list
I'd just like an honest opinion...thanks
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
-
hmmm
takes me back to the days of high school love and reminds me of the first time that I had fallen in love. I dont want to repeat whats already been said and tell you how good of a poem this is, its also a good story as well. i liked that part the most becuz its authentic, nicely done with vivid images portrayed throughout.
Preggers
-
I really love this.
I don't know if I have anything to say that has not already been said about this. I definately can't relate to this, but you describe it so well I feel like I can. I love the words you use. And this theme has been used a lot in other poems, but your ideas definately make this original. Great job.
-
-
hey, thanks for stopping by to read and even more thanks for leaving a comment. Always appreciated. I've never seen this theme used before in a poem, unless you mean that it's a love poem, but I have never read anywhere a poem that's connected or used the word "Freshman" to describe the immaturity, inexperience, and overall naivety of the whole thing, if you have please show me or give me a name of the poem for I'd be very interested in reading anything like this. I'm glad to hear that you liked the poem, Thank you for your very kind words on a poem that is very imperative to me, Thanks again for your time and I hope to hear from ya again.
TTYL
MM
-
-
I loved it
Marcus, I think you did a wonderful job describing that feeling that get when you first realize THAT feeling, and feeling THAT.
"Undercover to find a lover,
nervous hands
searching under covers.
Anxious
Trembling fingers come together
leaning towards love."
I loved the uncertainty this stanza portrayed, uneasiness at its peak. wonderfully done!
"Living and loving lawlessly,
passionately fearless forever.
Always eager
to touch one another.
Days revolve around each other,
like doors to my lover's heart."
this so accurately portrays that feeling you first get where nothing else matters and you live for nothing more than the next touch of your lover.
"Scents of her linger for hours
intoxicating my mind,
Find no need to smoke
when she's my high
An otherworldy shower
of kisses and flowers,
we came to find."
perfect! It sounds so bad saying this out loud but I once smelled a necklace of mine that had a new loves cologne trapped in it for hours...lol...this stanza is another perfect reflection of getting lost in the emotions that "intoxicate the mind".
"All the good seems on the way,
with love there are no limits.
These feelings divine
resplendent from the brain to the veins
to the heart.
Freshman love is like
wool over your eyes."
what an ending...this was a wonderful ending to an truly relatable and brilliantly written poem; and the ending line just caps it off like no other could. a wonderful job overall! Great write, and a great read, it makes me yearn for those days long forgotten...until now, thank you for the stroll down memory lane!
-
-
hey ginger
well it was definitely my pleasure to take you down memory lane. I too wish for these days again, and lucky me I'm still young as to where I might even still be naive enough and just fall for somebody as hard as a rock being thrown by a major league pitcher, or Brett Favre LoL. And I'm sure that will happen b/c it just happened 7 months or so ago. And I know for a fact that I haven't grown up that much. So YaY!! and lots of crying and feeling like the world is over is still yet ahead for me Haha. But Thanks a bunch for commenting on this poem and thanks even more for enjoying it, I'm very glad you liked it, I was really hoping that you would. It's one of my favorites. Well I'll be talking to ya later of course.
TTYSoon
MM
-
-
love it....
simply...
i just love how you describe the thrill of "freshman" love. like the word suggests, its just so freshhh! i'm a sucker for that type of rhyme scheme.
so basically i love it. -
-
hey carolyn
Thank YOU!! I am glad to hear that you enjoyed this poem. It's really one of my favorites b/c I'm one of those hopeless romantic type of guys that you only see in movies or places where you never live. LoL I'm glad that you found the rhyme scheme to your liking, it's something that I like to do in a lot of my poems. I kind of mix Free Verse and Rhyming together to get a poem that's all over the place yet still has some structure to it. I call it Free Rhyme, of course LoL. But I'm glad that you could relate to the poem and hope to hear from you again, You're a very talented writer and My mother would love to read your Letter poems from what I've told her about them, she writes as well. Well there me darling I gotta get goin for now. I'll hopefully talk to ya later.
TTYL
MM
-
-
Beautiful ! I like the title and the way you describe feelings .Your poems are always related to another real person that was/is part of your life ,while m poetry is always inspired by my personal feelings.That's the beauty and simplicity of your work that you can express real feelings and let others be part of them.
-
So many years ago...
or was that yesterday? I remember that head over heals feeling. When nothing mattered but her and that would never change. Living for love instead of living in sin. Like having wool over our eyes we never see the end of it coming. I have a feeling this one will be very popular with the ladies.
-
-
Hey Brian
I'm glad to see that you enjoyed this poem. Ahhh this was me only about 5-6 months ago. MAN!!! Life sure was beautiful when I wrote this. But like you said the wool was over my eyes and I couldnt see the end coming ever, at least not with the naked eye. Maybe I need a nice pair of binoculars. LoL But Anyways I'm sure as you can tell things didn't work out...and after all this time I'm still having a very hard time getting over it/her. She's gonna have to be added to the list of "girls that got away" which would make her number two b/c there's only one other girl that I was with that I wish I could have now, ahh #1, so beautiful and sweet LoL. But there's still a chance with her b/c we've remained good friends and she only lives 30 minutes away. So since there is still a chance for us (me and #1) to get back together, technically would that negate her even being on the list in the first place and actually bump #2 into spot #1??? Or do they just stay in their respectful positions? LoL I think that this is a question for AskJeeves.com HaHa HaHa thanks for stopping by for the read, and I hope the ladies like, fellas too if you treat your lady right.
TTYL
MM
-
-
Because I forgot to before..
-
Beautifully written, Marcus. Reading this piece left me with a feeling of actually being there and experiencing the feeling myself. Your choice of words are perfect in describing your feelings and setting others in the picture you've painted with your words. If there were anything I could change it wouldn't be about your poem but rather to change a freshman love into a forever love. In a perfect world of course. =)
-
reliving those days :)
when i read this poem, i was transported...to a time when fumbling fingers, blushing napes and racing hearts added to the excitement of first love (and lust-hehehe)...
wow!!! this is good, marcus. i have been wanting to read this for a long time (just was too swamped with work to actually do it, until now) and now that i have...you took my breath away!
all the feelings that you wanted to evoke in the poem, i felt, when i was reading it...oh, the joys of this young love...i miss those days...
hmmm, am i babbling? that is because i just can't get over the overwhelming feelings you have dealt me with through this poem...need i say more? no, all i will telly you for now is i'll read this again and again and again...
-
-
hello Leigh
Glad to hear from you again, I always love reading your replies or critiques b/c they're always sooo nice! LoL But I truly appreciate your kind words towards this poem that was written the 2nd or 3rd day I met the girl I am currently with, its only been 2 months this sunday but it sure seems like alot longer, So as things sparked up between us I was hit with all these feelings that has for so long eluded me. And it was a great amazing flow of emotion and writing that this was this finished product, one of my first that I sad down and wrote the bulk of it in linear order and didn't just take a bunch of scribbles of the same idea and put them together. I think that helped the flow and put my own kind of style or thing to it LoL. But I am glad you liked it, and I am still surprised at the reactions it has recieved, I did not think that many people would like it, but I guess I don't know as much as I thought I didn't?? if that makes sense, IDK? But anyways now I'm rambling, my lady friend, Stephanie, is sleeping beside me on my bed and she's looking mighty comfy now so I'm thinking I'll go lay with her soon and see If I can doze off. It was very nice hearing from you, and I hope to continue our critiquing friendship we've created LoL.
TTYL
MM
-
-
well I wanna try to stay away from the praising "bullshit"..but I think it's kind of impossible with this. I gave it some thought, and I wouldn't do anything to change this poem. There's a lot of love poems out there, but they all seem so cliche... I love him she loves me BLAH BLAH BLAH!! I really think you did well with this. It's complex, yet so simple to understand. Great write.
-
-
LoL
I'm sorry if I offended you when I said "bullshit" b/c not all of it is. A lot of people really pour their hearts out in their work and then people just fill them with false praise and it just reminds me of leading somebody on emotionally. It isn't fair to the writer, In fact now that I think of it It seems like they're leading them astray, just using them to get what they want, which in this case is points so they can feature their poem, really sad stuff to me. But I'm very glad that you liked the poem and I'm even more flattered that you liked it and found it original. LoL of course I do not mind praise, I was just simply venting and I said that b/c there seems to be an over-abundance of it on AP. That was all, I guess I came off a little strong in that area, But ya gotta believe in what ya believe right?
Anyways I'll be looking forward to reading more of your comments and I'll definately be commenting on some of your work as well, even if it means I have to go to the evil AP website LoL JK
...Hope to talk again soon
TTYL Your Friend,
MM -
-
I know what you mean. I was joking. hehe. and yeah. check some of my stuff out, though its not great. and yes you will have to visit the evil site! haha. much love.
-
-
-
Hey Marcus
i thought the truth and energy behind this poem were very strong and real. you made me remember the first love I had. while reading this i remembered every little smell and i got that nervous feeling in my stomach, shit man that felt bad. but i think its a good thing that you can do that with words, that shows alot. im really new to this whole thing so im still very moved by alot and this one moved me pretty far. really far back. so thanx man it was amazing to read. really really neat, i like how you used freshman to associate it with new love, a good methaphor.
peace
Jay
-
Wow!!!!
This has got to be the most amazing way to explain those feelings that come so fresh and so new each and everytime we fall for someone. This is exactly how I felt when i met my ex. the problem was we didn't last. I love how this poem ties together. the whole freshman love theme is perfect. You said that you were drawing this writing from a well. I say that you should keep doing that because it makes your poems seem so.....so real. It's not like everything else where life just seems like a story. This is an amazing poem and I can't wait to read more.
. Rewarded 8
-
-
Hey Damsel!!
First off I'd like to thank you for coming and reading something of mine, always greatly appreciated and I do always return the favor. I'm glad to poem reached you, though it's a pretty relatable subject it still means alot to me. I'm also glad that you enjoyed the theme, I was just playing around with words one day trying to figure out a good way to describe this feeling and it just seemed to work. It pleases me very much to hear that you think I should continue to write in this vein, love/erotica, b/c this was a giant step out there for me. I usually write darker and more social poems than this. So I was really really nervous when I posted this. But since it was coming right from my heart I just had to do it. You are exactly right, I originally summed the poem up with something like "Freshman Love is blind" but taking the advice of somebody mentor-like to me, he pointed out that it was weaker than it could have been. But it's basically the same idea. And it pleases me that you caught that essence. I hope you don't think that I'm babbling too much for I always enjoy it when somebody get's the heart of the poem. I think you connected with it, And If you noticed the ending is a warning. A warning that time deflates all of those feelings eventually and you start to see the faults in one another. That's why I think falling for your first love is the hardest. Because at the time you think they are perfect. Nothing's wrong with them, it's always you. LoL alrite I'm sure I've bothered you enough with all this crazy babble. But again it was very nice talking to you, I hope that you'll stop by and read some more of my work. "Century 21", "Super Star-Dumb", and "Nightlight In the Cemetery" are some of my fav's. But please feel free to look through them. For I will be taking a peek at your writings soon. Hope to hear from you and to build some kind of connection. Keep on writing and keep on commenting, only way to learn and become a better writer. Best of wishes.
TTYL Your Friend,
MM
-
-
Amazing poem. Perfectly describes young love. Loved the rhythm.
-
-
Hey BLM
Hey I'd just like to say thank you for stopping by and reading this poem. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Hopefully I'll hear from you again. LoL Except maybe next time If there's any criticism you'd be able to give would be great. Or even some more insight on why you liked the poem if ya even did, not accusing you, just saying there are alot of people on here who just make tiny comments to get their points, and it's pathetic. But like I said I wasn't accusing you. Again thanks for the read and I hope to hear from you soon. I see that you don't have that many postings, it would be nice to read some of your work.
TTYL Your Friend,
MM
-
-
Hello
Ah the glow of young love, it's glitter--the kind that puts a spring in your step. And I'm glad to see it reflected in a poem.
I think you captured the feeling with words that have an image to them, I can see it play out clearly in my head. The nervousness, how the air seems to change around you, the anxiety, then finally--the connection between two people. I'm glad you seem to feel that it's a new beginning for you. The happiness is shining in this, Marcus. And the closing statement, 'Freshman love is like wool over your eyes'.
I do agree with that. I take it as you understanding its fluffy feeling and loving it but also, realising its got a rough side and can be so full of light it blinds.
Well done, Marcus. The only thing I suggest is adding more punctuation but of course, as the writer, it is completely up to you. I enjoyed the read!
Kristin
. Rewarded 8
-
-
Hey Kristin
Glad to see ya stopped by to take a peek. And-A-Thank You for leaving such a lovely comment. lol Yes love definately has a rough side to it, but this was supposed to be about the beginning. You of course captured all of that already though. And thank you for the suggestion, I usually overpuncuate, and now I've reversed roles. So it's good to see that you noticed that. Glad to see it triggered a response. Hope to talk to ya soon.
TTYL Your Friend,
MM
-
-
hey marcus
you capture the dynamic of being head over heels for the first time or the first time all over again. its obessiveness, exictment pain and fear of loss, i think its about the strongest feelings one has in a lifetime and you did it skillfully. theres way too many poems about the break up on this site and not enuf about the getting together.
dave. Rewarded 6
-
-
Hey Dave
Nice to see you stopped by and took a peek at this poem. Glad to hear you liked it. I also agree with you, I found even myself writing too much stuff that was either angry or dark in some way. So it was nice to be able to draw from these feelings and express something beautiful that hopefully everybody can relate to. I'm very flattered that you enjoyed this piece. Hope to hear from ya soon.
TTYL Your Friend,
MM
-
-
Hey marcus, what a fine new ending that last line is. It's far more poetic than the one I suggested - that "wool over your eyes" is the perfect paradoxical contrast with "resplendent". Already plenty good, the whole poem is a lot more resplendent now because of that nifty last line. For me, a good poem has become, with only a couple of small revisions, a VERY good one - the power of just the exactly right words. Here's to Freshman Power!
Lad -
-
Hey Lad, I'm very happy that you've found the ending fitting. I am even more pleased that you found it more poetic than your suggestion. Very flattering coming from somebody I hold highly and respect. I truly appreciate everything. To Freshman Power I agree!!
-
-
wow did that ever bring back a rush of feelings........let us hope you are talking about college freshman, lol and not high schoolers. nice rhyming in this one.....if you read my work you will know rhythm and flow are very important to me so whenever i see it done i comment on it. Also like the subject matter.......i like erotic poetry but i like it especially well when it is done like this.......with a breath of innocence. Nice job! LD
-
-
Hey LD
Good to hear from ya, thank you for your kind words and humor. LoL well what I was really trying to do with the word "Freshman" was to display the first stage, the first level, the first love. I thought about the whole school thing and how some people might find it disturbing or disgusting b/c they might have mistaken it for that way. but everybody on here is pretty hip to what's goin on . So it's good to see that nobody took it that way. I'm glad to see that you've commented on ANY of my work b/c I've rather enjoyed yours very much, I can tell you have a favor for meter and rhythm. It's something I enjoy as well as I like to write songs and lyrics. Glad to hear that you could connect with this poem, though it is pretty relatable. I'm also glad I could resurface some old feelings, as long as they aren't painful. Hope to hear from ya soon LD. You are one out of maybe 5-6 writers that I hold pretty highly on this site. So your words of praise encourage me to keep writing which is something I've always had trouble with. Never had any poetry classes or anything like that so I've always been a little hesitant to think I know what I'm doin lol. Since I've found this site though I find myself slowly building confidence in my writing. I have all of you to thank for that. Hope to hear from ya soon.
Your Friend,
MM
-
-
Excitement of youth coming through...
That overwhelming feeling of excitement a person can feel in this situation comes oozing through your lines, here. I was very impressed. It is a place we have all been before and for many we cannot return there, that moment of love being a new adventure fades for too many as adult life moves on. I especially liked the use of the word "intoxicating"... a great word that can be used so creatively beyond the application it most often has. I liked the ending, too. It wrapped the poem up nicely but also left me thinking and refelcting on my own experiences. Nice job... very well done.
. Rewarded 8
-
-
Hey Mark
Hey thanks alot for taking the time to read this poem. It always means alot to us when somebody takes the time to read, even more so when a comment is left by the reader. I'm glad you enjoyed this poem. It's something I just whipped up the other day real quick and put on here hoping to get some feedback on what could be better, and surprisingly only a few things threw the reader off. So it really means alot. I'm glad you said that for some us we cannot return, so true. I'm also glad that you could venture off into your own experiences and apply them, that's exactly what I was reaching for, to relate the passion, anxiety, crazy thoughts that are so naive you cannot see them. Love can be very strange, great at times, horrible at others. Glad you enjoyed! Hope to hear from ya again soon. I'll be taking a look at some of your work when I have a little more time, maybe tonight. Again thanx, always happy to meet and converse with other writers/poets.
TTYL
MM
-
-
Hi, marcus. It's always refreshing to read a poem on the site that's not about depression, loneliness, fear, pain, misery - you know, all that stuff that's real in life but has no joy. This poem is loaded with the joy of young, naive discovery, the finding out how sweet and exhilirating love can be. Nice work, full of hopefulness.
Some of the lines, all well written, are especially poetic and pleasant to my ears: undercover to find a lover; like doors to my lover's heart; relish the rapture / inclined from lust; an otherworldly shower; pretzeled bodies - fine writing.
My only suggestion, probably a minor one, is about the ending. "blind" suggests something very brightly shining, causing blindness, but the previous lines have "floating", so there's no reason in the poem for "blind". I wonder if those two lines near the end might be something like:
"resplendent in the brain and in the veins
to the heart..." -- Just a thought, marcus. You, of course, make the call. I really like the joy in this poem!
Later...
Lad
. Rewarded 8
-
-
Hey Lad
Always good to hear from ya. I'm especially glad that you enjoyed this piece. I'd also like to thank you so very much for all of the help and advice you have provided since my joining. This has been the outlet I've been searching for and you and many others are the reason that this whole engine keeps running. I'm proud/glad to be a part of that. Thank you All. I've taken your advice on most of the changes I believe. Ummm, I'm not sure if I've weakened the poem by changing the ending the way I did instead of the way you told me to, If you wouldn't mind taking a peek and seeing if that's something like what you were talking about. I'm not much of an editor but I take your advice to heart. It pleases me to hear that in your opinion you've found some things that you like in some of my work. Thanks again for your time, your will to read and dissect if you will, a poem. Then the feedback you give is always right on and always pushing the writer forward, propelling them to continue. Hope to hear from ya soon.
TTYL Your Friend,
MM
-
-
I enjoyed this one! From the first line, inner rhymes and rhythms appear to move the words along and emphasize your ideas. I love the second stanza. The words are perfectly written. The only criticism I have is about your repetition of 'respect,' as mentioned by Plumeister. I agree that it makes things drag a bit, and it's very redundant to repeat a word so soon. You might think about replacing the repetition with 'reverence' to keep some alliteration going, if that's what you're after.
The early stage of love is a beautiful thing - two people seeing no flaw in one another, each percieving the other as perfect. Love truly is blinding, as you say in your last line. Young love -infatuation, as you have stated here, sees no imperfection. The deepest love sees all the imperfection, accepts it, and continues to love anyway. Great poem!
. Rewarded 8
-
-
Hey Piano Guy
Thank you for your time to come and read something that means alot in my life. I'm glad you enjoyed it, you captured the heart of this poem and completely know what I'm talking about, hit it right on the head. Always good to hear from somebody new, hope to hear from ya soon and I'll be taking a peek at some of your work whenever I have some more free time. Thanx a bunch and I appreciate you taking your time to leave a comment, means alot.
TTYL
MM
-
-
Hey, very good marcus.
I'm not gonna dissect this as I believe it a feeling write and as such it captures that feeling of first crazy true love well.
I'd been rather ho-humm about love until I met my wife. Then I discovered what everyone was talking about. Something crazy happens that takes your mind and sends it into overload and you just can't seem to get enough of the insanity. My wife lived almost two hours away and with her mother, who was very proper. The only time I was allowed to sleep over was when she was there. She wasn't gonna have her girl's name be had about the neighborhood badly. So when she worked the night shift which was often I, respecting her wishes, would stay as long as possible and then...I'd sleep in my truck behind the Albertsons just down the road. Damn...I'd wake up stiff as hell roar to my gym back down the road from work and shower and run to the shop. I did this for over a year and it never bothered me a lick. I just couldn't get enough of my hottie, it was crazy. Other girls, no big deal. Take 'em or leave 'em. But my wife has that special something that ropes my nose and keeps my coming around. Must be magic, and you do that magic justice here. It is magic, something crazy happens that sticks us like a drug and makes us slaves to the addiction, a fact you illustrate well with your lack of needing a puff to ease your mind. Love is a grand narcotic, stimulant and everything all rolled into one big fatty.
You had a lot of good imagery here and pretty much touched all the bases without coming home. Which I think is a good thing. This was respectful and yet sensual, capturing well that euphoria one feels when in the throes of "true love". So often when we "have it all" we become "all" jaded as everything ceases to have impact. Skill is to infer feeling without dumping it in the readers lap. I loved the line "infatuation, like hitting my face on the pavement". So true. It is a jarring juxtaposition to the doldrums we are accustomed to. I liked how you brought out the nervousness, anxiousness and trembling. Although it was quite the opposite for me. When I went to pick up my wife for the first date she was so smokin' I shoulda been nervous as hell, yet I was calm as I could be. Looking back, I'd like to say it was because I was so smooth, but then I got us lost for an hour so that shoots the shit outta that theory. Nope, I was calm. But many have relayed to me that nervousness thing as to their first loves.
So anyway, good stuff Marcus.
al
p.s. only things, the beginning part of undercover and under covers seemed redundant
-line 10: I'd say "to one another" as it keeps the first vs. second vs. third person thing more consistent sounding. The "another" all by it's lonesome takes me from "us" to someone else entirely.
-fourth stanza, the word respect is repeated which makes the thought drag and emphasizes your lack of finding another word that means the same thing but is different. Variety is important, mix it up. There are plenty of words that mean "respect". Feel free to find one.
-the lines "relish the rapture, inclined from lust, to us" are brilliant. The originality of thought is great, the alliteration is a nice little hincky to add variety and the whole message of underlying respect behind the words is great. Way to do something original.
and lastly, your kicking some internal rhymes in your lines and just basically mixing it up all over in this write, which is good because love is like that...all pell mell in a great variety of all over the place.
I liked this, marcus.
-
-
Hey Al
I'm glad to hear ya enjoyed the poem. Always a pleasure to hear from somebody that really reaches in and find's the heart of the poem, and then leaves constructive feedback and criticism. Even more thanks for letting me in on a little bit of your personal life. Always kewl listening to another's experiences being an observer. Happy you shared that with me. Yeah love will make us do some pretty crazy or stupid things. I was kind of the same way with the ladies, not thinking of finding the special qualities that they had. But like you said once ya meet the one everything changes, or at least once you realize you've met her. I can't explain enough how much the critiques and comments you and others have provided. Thank you once again. Always a pleasure hearing from ya, and thanks for the insight.
TTYL Your Friend,
MM -
-
Hey, anytime marcus.
I've enjoyed your comments and level approach to this whole writing thing. It's a process, and one that can only get better with objective feedback spoken honestly, good and bad. I look forward to your insights as well and appreciate those you've offered to date. I offer the same thanks and say you're more than welcome.
al
-
-
-
Hey Marcus
Just got back from vacation, popped on and saw you posted a new poem, Freshman Love. WOW! How you captured the desire to move on into the adult world, yet still being afraid of letting go of innocence at the same time, while being enraptured in the flurry of desires and emotions that everybody encounters at this stage of life. Very well written. This is something that everybody can relate to. I really enjoy the style of your writing because you have such a wide range of talent. Congrats on a beautiful piece.
Sherry L.K.
-
-
Hey LTO
Glad you enjoyed this one. Thank you for the compliments and I appreciate you taking your time to comment. Hope you had fun on your vacation, even if ya didn't I'm sure it was nice just to get away from the WI winter. Makes me jealous haha. well anyways it was good to hear from ya, I hope you can add some more poetry to your list whenever you get a chance. Hope to hear from ya soon.
TTYL Your Friend,
MM
-
-
Good stuff MM
I just loved this --
Scents of her linger for hours
intoxicating my mind,
Find no need to smoke
when she's my high
I might suggest you add the Adult catergory to this, as it's probably a little much for the younger younger eyes lol and when adult, under a certain blocks them from reading
But anyway off that
This is just a brilliant write to me, having a rhythm to the words, flowing deliciously..
You told a tale so well, of innocent young horny love and passion for one another
Really quite enjoyed this
Cindy
-
-
whoopsy daisy lol
Hey cindy I'm sorry I completely forgot about categories on this one, and some others lol, very sorry, I will make the change. Thank you very much for your time and your kind words, it means alot coming from you b/c I consider you the goddess of love poems lol. So thank you very much for your time and coment, always a pleasure hearing from ya Cin. Thank you so very much for everything that you have done for me since I have joined this site. -
-
and don't worry it's cool, you know I would always help and point out
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 44 of 44
