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Sandman

I promised you the Earth
said I'd catch the moon
move mountains

I wanted to be a rock for you
not a stone in your shoe

but even if I am sand
I will always reach for you
I'll wash up on your beach

and when you get home
you'll find me in everything


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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • celestialpie gold member
    March 8

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    John, what a beautiful piece! This may be my new favorite by you. I have said time and again that I am not a fan of love poems, and every so often, one comes along that forces me to reassess that opinion. This is most certainly one of them. I would even venture to agree with Bill-- the best love poem I've seen on this site.

    Everything about this piece works for me. I love the title, the childhood associations of magic. I like the off-rhymes: moon, move, shoe. You keep it short and simple, as the sweetest love poems never demand lengthy explanations. And the final two lines are a knockout.

    This is definitely one I'm sharing with Patrick.

    Hugs,
    Lauren


  • William McGarvey silver member
    March 4

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    Hey John,

    I like how in the first stanza are your wishes. “Promised the Earth” “Catch the moon” “move mountains”

    Then reality hits and, instead of a “rock” to hold on to you are more a “stone in her shoe”

    Then the mortal realisation of being just “sand”. You realize that it is ok to be that cause you can be everything to her and even more by just being the way you are (and that is even better than the comic book imagined Earth and moon and mountains macho nonsense!)

    This is the best love poem I have read on this site! Great read, John!
    Bill

    . Rewarded 8

  • dave ochs silver member
    March 3

    Edit | Reply

    hey W

    i like that you touch the theme of, were all made up of the same universal material be you earth, moon, mountain or grain of sand-which therefore contains the whole universe.
    metapysically tangible.
    dave

    . Rewarded 4


  • ladyjulie
    March 3
    Edit | Reply

    Touching and real

    Windhover,
    I love how honest this is. When you love someone you want to give them everything, even if you aren't able to and I think this poem speaks to that fact. "And when you get home you'll find me in everything" is a great line it's touching and oh so true in the literal sense


  • Lad silver member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply
    From idealistic hopes and dreams to a common, humble reality - like sand. Very provocative in a gentle way, John. "I will always reach for you..." is simply wonderful in its simple calm. Nice work.
    Lad

    . Rewarded 4


  • scribbledthoughts
    February 25
    Edit | Reply

    this is what i miss around here!

    hey you....

    i love this one, John... (well, of course i love everything you write) but this one just gave me some mixed emotions, and the picture of the beach too! (I adore the beach, btw!)

    I like that it is short and direct and honest.

    Always a pleasure to be reading your stuff John.

    'later,

    lynne

1 - 6 of 6