You
my candyfoam cotton
prize sparkling eager to be spun
my wildpoker deuce
card lucking nothing to a royal flush
my rocky vodka
martini smoothed by vermouth's barest kiss
my countyfair carnival
partyfood, drink and Fortune's wink on a whim
You
my risk
my gold
our mine.
A love poem for my fascinating partner of fifteen years. March is our anniversary month. All thoughts welcome.
Sorry, you cannot respond to an archived poemReviews
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Oh Lad what a sweet tribute fifteen years......thats is along time.................love the brevity of the lines that say so much with so little words. I am sure this relationship was a risk for both of you......I am glad you have this history and this partner who has enriched your life......give him a hug from me! LD
. Rewarded 6
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Thanks a bunch, LD, for such kind words about this little love poem. You sure are right: love is always a risk, sometimes we lose, but sometimes we win, and it's just great when it's a jackpot win. And I'll be sure to give him your hug tonight! You are one nice person, Lori, and your comment shows it. Best to you too!
Lad
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nice Lad its pretty powerful
cus know one else can kno
its good bo
happy anniversry u both
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Thank you, OPMatt, for reading and for your kind comment. And even more thanks for your anniversary wishes. That's mighty kind of you.
Later!
Lad
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dueces wild
hey lad, nice tribute and the way you spun fate and fortune and chance to describe your relatshonship,
i'd love to spend a month in vegas just for all the gambling metaphors.
dave. Rewarded 4
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Let me know if you ever DO Vegas, dave, and I'll join ya - it's been over 20 years since I've been there. And thanks for reading and commenting on this little countyfair of a love poem. Yeh, took a chance on this relationship - so did he, I guess - and so far so good. Can't argue with that - when Fortune winks, grab whatever's in sight while you can...
Lad
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I like this very much, especially the way you've broken the lines, and the pun at the end. Thanks
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Hi, Swithenbank, and many thanks for reading and commenting on this brief love poem. Are you new to the site? I'll be checking into your page asap to return the favor. Glad you liked this poem.
Later...
Lad
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Bet it all
Love is a gamble. And it sounds like you hit the jackpot! Great read Lad
Bill
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Thanks, as always, for the read and comment, Bill. As you say, Love is a gamble - I've mostly lost on it, but I think that maybe I've finally won. Glad you liked it.
Lad
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I don't know if any I words I write willgive justice this.
Wow Lad, just amazing..The feeling of love & admiration so there in the two lines sets of wonderful descriptions/comparisons
my rocky vodka
martini smoothed by vermouth's bareat kiss
That is my favourite of the entire piece.
This poem held such love with great poetic imagery Lad.
I enjoyed the read so much. and I am sure your partner could only be swept away by these words
Congratulations on your anniversary, I'm sure you will have many more together, to come 
Cindy
. Rewarded 8
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Cindy, you are one sweetie of a reader, not only because you liked this little love poem but mainly because you understood its feelings to the max. Only another poet with LUV on her mind could do that!! I'm really glad about that. And thanks for the congratulations, too.
Later...as always,
Lad
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Best wishes Lad!
First of all, my wonderful wishes of more happiness and love to both of you.
Secondly, I like this a lot. It's a "feel good" poem and I like stuff that makes me feel good. And I bet your partner is overwhelmed by these words...I've been told lately that I am this person's luck charm -- oh boy, my heart soared!
And the ending is just perfect. Double meanings or more....just perfect!
L
. Rewarded 8
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Hi, Lynne, and many thanks for commenting on this kind-of-a-wild-ride love poem. And thanks double for the best wishes. A love that's lasted for 15 years IS something to celebrate, isn't it? And you even caught the double meanings in the poem, including the final words. You are one good sweetheart of a reader as well as a nifty poet! Again, sincere thanks all the way.
Later...
Lad
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I like the tough undercurrent of this
love-poem, a tribute to your love, the risk to love beyond the safety of the commonplace... all the images of the carnival and its associations, fun and danger and wild rides and people who fit in best with themselves, living on and off the edges. Well done, too for managing 15 years... that's a tribute to you, too. All the best RA. Rewarded 6
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And all the best back RA, for such an understanding reading of this love poem. As you once said about a comment I made to one of your poems, your comment here is a poem in itself. You saw into this bit of exuberant emotion as lovingly as I tried to write it. Couldn't ask for more. Thank you for that.
Later...
Lad
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I bet you meant ...
Lad, I believe you were feeling sexy when you wrote this and I'm pretty sure your intended got the point. I hope it had the desired result - it deserves it!the final lines 'you my risk my gold - our mine' are somehow ambiguous beyond pun/symmetry etc. I 'heard' ... 'risky' 'My God!', 'Ermine', 'Goldmine'
all very sexy and not totally unintended, I'll bet.. Rewarded 6
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John, I'm getting an unusual small reply box now in replying to your comment. So, I'm wondering is your Java, as I already said, might need fixing.
And thanks for catching everything sexy in this little love ditty; Wayne caught it too. And I knew you'd get a kick out of the ambiguous punning in those final words of the poem. You never fail!!
As always,later -
Lad
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I liked the broad nature...
For me, this poem hits on multiple things that you appreciate in your partner, not just one specific detail. The images are very diverse for me, where I could not normally put vodka and the country carnival together. That is what makes this so cool in a very nice way. When you truly share a special relationship with someone it is because they appeal to you and satisfy you in many different areas. If you think of a human as an object with many, many chambers... they find a way to bring light and warmth into more chambers than the average person in your world. This poem expresses that very clearly to me. What makes it even better is that it does it in such a compact way. It would be far easier to write a long piece describing each and every way your partner enriches your life, but to do so in a limited number of lines and words, by using such crisp but diverse images... images that we automatically attach to very human feelings... that is very cool. Nice job, Lad, and I hope it is a great anniversary for you and your partner! =)
. Rewarded 8
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Mark, many thanks for such a thoughtful and perceptive read on this little love poem. You picked up just right on my attempt to pull together diverse images for it, then trying to pull them together as different ways to say "Jackpot." And you're right again about a love poem perhaps being best when it's brief and passionate; that's a great comment!
I see you may have posted something new; I'll be looking in asap.
Later...
Lad
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<
Hi, caliente, and kudos for picking up on the very feelings I hoped to put into it: fun and sparkling and sexy. Really glad it worked for you. Thanks for that.
I see you've posted "Open Mouth Kissing", and I'll be on it before the end of tonight - must rush off for now. Later!
Lad -
EXCELLENT
Hi Lad,
Thanks for dropping in last month, sorry I have been absent, once I get back into it, I realize what I've missed....
Rare is the day when I read a love sentiment, that is novel and breathtaking.....Now I can believe, that "it all" has not been said...Next month is my honey and mine's anniversary, I hope that he writes such a tribute to me....Only from love, can we communicate with such depth.....ttfn Laurel. Rewarded 8
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Hi, Laurel, and thanks a million for such a kind review of this little ditty of a love poem. I tried to stay away from the usual in it, so I'm really glad you picked up on that. And...congratulations in advance on your and your honey's anniversary. Hang in there!
Later...
Lad
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Can I?
Can I write words like this? Regrettably no; if I try poetry without rhyme it falls flat and reads like a phrase in a novel. Each to their own I suppose, but it's great to read work like this that hits the spot.
. Rewarded 4
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Thanks, Demo, for such a kind and honest response to this little poem. As I've said to someone else already, sometimes I get a kick out of just pulling together ordinarily unconnected words and then see what results. I'm glad you think this one worked.
You're right, "to each his own" as far as style is concerned. And even though you say that you can't "write words like this", what you DO write is just as pleasingly poetic and in your own style and voice - at least, that's what I think. Your stuff is good, it uses rhyme naturally and skilfully, and sometimes I wish I could do THAT as well as you do. Poetry is a garden with a thousand different flowers in it, all lovely.
Later!
Lad
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I love it.
I've really enjoyed reading your work. I love the whimsical simplicity of this poem and the love of life's pleasures, shared with a loved one. The "candyfoam cotton" "eager to be spun" brings out a vivid and fragile lifelike quality- To think it would be eagerly awaiting it's consumption. And the "rocky vodka" being toned down by the "vermouths barest kiss".
The whole experience is really very pleasant.
. Rewarded 8
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Hi, ladyjulie, and a thousand thanks for getting so nicely into the spirit of this little love poem, and for taking the time to pull out small phrases that you liked.
I haven't been on the site as much as I used to, so I may have missed some of your work. I'll be checking into it asap.
Later...
Lad
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sorry to visit this twice and spend an extra click, but...
got called away on an emergency the first time I went to it. I really like the double modifiers "sparkling eager". The entire piece is delightful; in its wordplay, silly with a serious undercurrent to it all. And the clever play on "mine" at the end. Happy anniversary - MJ. Rewarded 6
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Thanks, MJ. You picked up perfectly on the "silly with a serious undercurrent" in this little love ditty. Sometimes it's great fun just to wrangle completely disparate words together and see what happens. And thanks for the anniversary thought. Later...
Lad
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Dude, totally sweet!
Your lucky Gal! dude it was sexy sweet, like classy beer (not that I've ever had beer) but whatever, good job. Bravo Brava, claps for you!!!!
. Rewarded 4
ladydwarf
February 27