The Amazing Disappearing Man
His mother loved him
like nobody else could
or ever would
and it started there
She told him he was wonderful
and he believed her
Mama was always right
She wouldn’t let him fight
coz that was her job.
Relatively untroubled by reality
he grew to be a man
of sorts
and an entertainer
He had a talent
for tying himself in knots
so be became a contortionist
It helped him squirm
between his desire to be
at the same time
radical
and pc
and it made it easier to see
the light from the sun.
He’d begun to wonder
if Mama had been right
about its source.
She had, of course.
One night when the crowd
were proving particularly difficult
to please
and as usual he wasn’t listening
because his ears were pressed so hard
against his knees
he thought he saw some tiny vestiges
of light
just before they were swallowed
by a black hole.
Fascinated, he followed
And the crowd gasped and gaped
and stood and stared and cheered
at his best trick ever
He simply disappeared.
In a list
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Loved it in and out and through
Okay, first, it was amazing, enchanting, brilliant.
Second: Somone does love him
Third: I promise
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Asses To Asses...
Funk to funky - This is a stern corRectum to Momma´s Dearest, Windhover. It spoke to me also of how we create our own shaded life-lies often refusing external realities. People so often seek to justify blinkered world-views by stooping to fecal myopia, thereby perpetuating suffering and their own insufferabilities on the rest of us. Spoilt brats make the wackiest psychopaths.
I enjoyed the references to "sun" , bringing to mind the Python quote: "They must think the sun shines out of your arse, my son."
Or was that a Freudian connection?
Cheers
gGulp
. Rewarded 8
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hey john
a lot of times i take your poems too literaly and miss the point. the contortonist is a great metaphor for a momma's boy who he's always hidden behind and eventually dissappears.
dave. Rewarded 4
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Very nice, John. You are at your best when you are poetically gamboling around nasty turns of phrase, though I'm not sure if we've ever seen you quite this exacting-- I grinned at, "Relatively untroubled by reality," and "He'd begun to wonder/if Mama had been right/about its source."
Being the daughter of a mama's boy, I can personally testify to the dangers of allowing a son to think the sun shines out of his own ass-- perhaps these woman have never heard the phrase "stick it where the sun don't shine"? Perhaps if these men's fathers had done just that, they could've spared the world monstrously self-absorbed men. I like how the crowd cheers at the end-- a fitting reaction to the disappearance of such worthless and insufferable people. I also like how he's a "contortionist"-- a slippery bastard, in other words! Able to wriggle out of any situation, to bend himself to suit the situation.
Now look-- you've gone and gotten me to unsheathe my claws as well. This piece is deliciously -- dare I say? -- bitchy. Your usual straightforward and fluid style serves it well, giving it the often painful clarity of disgust, allowing you to see every flaw as well as the source of the flaws.
Someone must've really gotten under your skin. You make them get under my skin as well.
I like this side of you in writing, but I wouldn't want to become a target!
In case you couldn't tell, I love this piece. Don't change a word.
Mrow.
Lauren
. Rewarded 8
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This is quite interesting >W<
I get a sort of mommas boy feel..Like my sister was daddies little girl..
A short story lol---
I moved out before her..I think I was always the more realistic one, being the black sheep lol, already having made a few mistakes..but she was just bloddy perfect lol..She moved out to Uni, to a share house with 3 other girls...reality was a slap in the face..She was always trying to stay on top of being perfect for Dad, wearing a hat covering the dyed hair.Tattoo finally , in the most discreet of places lol...But in the end like any normal person does at least once in their lifetime. She failed...It was all to much...trying to fit a image..trying to move forward in life on her own etc..
Uni, quit half way through, ended up moving in with a somewhat mommas boy lol..but abusive in a way to,
SO then she learnt even harder lessons & really grew up, started becoming the mature person she is today.
At some point she had to grow up and sotp running to Dad..But in the same degree she also had to start telling him the truth and not being afraid of disappointing him.
Okay well there u go lol.
But this of yours really took me back to all those thoughts..
The complete opposite of me and even what I had etc, mad em enjoy your words even more
The bits if rhymine work well & give more to the rhythm
Cin
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thanks for the read tonight.
's for your heart and soul as well!
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this piece flows amazingly well! i have known people like this........hmm...maybe some of them should have disappeared........the key to this line is momma wouldnt let him fight...........i guess something both my mom and i have been guilty of........fortunatly my daughter and i both arose above that...........thanks for the insight! LD
. Rewarded 6
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Bravo!
Very nice imagery here. A person that never finds them self but just the empty thrill of satisfying the expectations of what other people expect them to be.
(And that usually starts with mother.) But not always.
Most people are afraid to find themselves simply because they are afraid to look into the mental mirror, ironic as it may sound. We must live ourselves all the time but that seems to be the person we know the least.
Well, this is my initial response after reading this poem. Really enjoyed it
Bill
. Rewarded 8
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I didn't mean to be too subtle
Hi Willian and thanks for reading and commenting here. I have to tell you that this poem is about as caustic as it's likely to get with me. Essentially it's about a self-centred little Mammy's boy who believes he's God gift and turns all sorts of somersaults to make the world align with his self-image, before eventually disappearing up his own.... ! Was I too delicate?
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