Spread yourself beneath the tree
and wait-
There is a certain continuity
in this posture, this splayed
and marked passivity.
Travel through immersion
Shape-shifting and change
through splicing
through rapid fire connection.
You have changed,
you have plateaued,
you have passed the early phases-
but you were taken up unformed
And now the centre is awry,
the root has suffered graft.
Author notes
This is a beginning piece from a collection I'm trying to put together. working title- Emergences
I know this is ambiguous so comments on personal interpretation are especially appriciated. I'm feeling like I need another line in the last stanza, any thoughts? Thanks
Comments
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This is good. It took me a few reads to feel like I really had a grasp on it, but it came to me in time. I think it is more my late-night reading than your writing. It was a clear metaphor but not too direct. It is well craft over the lines and has a nice, smooth flow to it. I liked the presentation of the poem, overall, coming into my mind in a subtle but still confident manner. Very nice...
. Rewarded 8
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I found this poem intriguing and interesting. It gave the feel of a victorian age in its description. Its ambiguity i think gives it that ethereal, untouchable feel. At the same time, this felt like a meditation, a whispering to a tired being. The theme of growth and change is evident. It has a feel of letting go and letting be. Embracing the changes, and these changes may bring chaos. The thought of being uprooted from the familiar leaves one uncertain, but then sometimes the seemingly negative aspect of our lives is also the very source of our growth. Grafting can bring a new tree into life. Uprooting and relocating may be best for a tree. The constancy that is change must take place that we may evolve. That's what i gather from this poem. I am interested in what you mean by it. IN my personal opinion the dashes seem unnecessary. And as a beginning piece for a collection called Emergence, this is apt. For its the first phase...and the last stanza seems to beg for a continuation to another phase.
-iphios -
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First off, wanted to say that i truely appriciate your comment and the thought put into it. I am intrigued as always by varying subjective interpretations. In fact I am beginning to like them better than what I actually meant.
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This has the feeling of an 18th century poem...
The metaphor of tree or plant is very clear in its reference to the girl's own growth. The phrase "...splayed / and marked passivity..." is unique and just right.
The last two stanzas, especially the last, are especially fine. As far as the dashes, I think you could do without the two dashes at the line ends. Very nice work, MJ. Rewarded 6
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