She writes poetry
well
casting her wordy spell
like a sorceress
drawing them in
deep
between the lines
where she keeps
her secrets
each poem,
like a beautiful dress
concealing, revealing
her thoughts
her inner being
like a glimpse
of thigh
each soft, sly stroke
of the pen
deepening
the mystery
the words
and the world
spin round -
the swirling dress
rises
spellbound, her readers
feel excalibur shift
in the stone.
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Hey, John. I love this piece because. . . well, I should think it would be rather obvious. You go right for my ego, which is considerable enough because I'm a writer, and double that because I'm an Aries.
I've always quietly wondered what, specifically, makes women poets so different. I mean, it's been instilled in my generation that boys and girls are NOT fundamentally different, everyone's equal, society determines gender roles and blah blah blah, but I think we can be real here. Women poets ARE curiously multi-faceted creatures, Salomes with a hundred veils, not just seven. Speaking for myself, I do fear a little for my sanity when I look over things that I have written, and each one seems to come from a different woman. Whereas men. . . men seem to find a voice, and that's who they are. Straightforward. Unapologetic. What you see is what you get. Perhaps it's because women have always been forced to occupy several roles-- madonna/whore, wife, mother, daughter, etc. A woman can never be the same person to all people.
As for your poem, there is your usual fluid style, your clarity of vision.
My favorite stanza is easily:
"each poem,
like a beautiful dress
concealing, revealing
her thoughts
her inner being
like a glimpse
of thigh"
Yes, we're sexy. Never forget it.
"each soft, sly stroke
of the pen
deepening
the mystery" This also spoke directly to me-- I have come to regard my writing, especially in recent years, as a knife-thrower regards her blades. I know that's a bit of a cliche, but absolutely true. Once my victim is in my sights, I measure the distance carefully, then consider the weight of my weapon, the strength required of my arm. Sometimes a scalpel is needed, sometimes Excalibur.
And the two final stanzas-- simply superb. Excalibur is an excellent choice of allusion-- the devious women of Arthurian legend, Ygraine, the Lady of the Lake, Morgan le Fay, Guinevere, brilliantly underscore your point. None of them are completely friendly, but not completely enemies. They are relegated mostly to the background, yet manage to bring down Camelot.
Well done.
Lauren
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< Getting the point.
Hi C. This is a truly flattering comment, not only because it comes one as accomplished as yourself, or because of the generous quality of it, but because it picks out my own favourite lines with a 'wow'. When the lines about Excalibur shifting in the stone occurred to me I thought pretty much the same thing, if that's not too self-congratulatory. So my sincere thanks here. I looked at the punctuation thing and it's always a bit of quandary for me. I prefer to use line breaks to pace a poem and if I add conventional punctuation marks it becomes confusing for me let alone the reader. I added a dash to emphasize one pregnant pause and left it at that. But everything I read about publishers and editors assures me dashes are a no-no. Of course they would have to be one of my favourites. Many thanks again for the input here. >W< -
One fundamental disagreement I would have with you... I think the subject merits longer, flowing lines as opposed to the short lines that you have used.
Looking beyond that, I thought you treated the theme quite exceptionally. It is a poem that is difficult to end. It is a poem, difficult to get a grip on. I thought you managed it. I think this poem, if you have written about a real woman in your life, would be exceptionally close to you and a complement your girl would remember for life.
. Rewarded 8
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