Gone (a new song lyric)

I've lived my life in coffee cups
since I was just a kid
Wake up and smell the coffee, child:
That's what i did

We lived on the river, and my daddy gave me coffee,
It was more milk than coffee,
Strong and sweet, rich and good
Momma would rise early, sit alone in the kitchen
Drinkin sweet, strong coffee, at the heart of our home

And it's gone, all gone (chorus)
All my childhood on the river
And the years roll on
I can see the ferryman
And his boat is comin'
And my soul is nearly ready
But today I'll drink this coffee
And live life as best I can.

I was seventeen, a rebel, shared a place with my brother
And he tried hard to help me find a little piece of home
So he'd brew strong coffee, then we'd fight like the devil
So it wasn't long before I left to set out on my own.

And it's gone, all gone,
All my youth in the city
And the years roll on
I can see the ferryman
And his boat is comin'
And my soul is nearly ready
But today I'll drink this coffee
And live life as best I can.

Then I met my baby, and we settled down in Ely
And I tried hard to make a home, right there in the sun,
But every single time I brewed coffee in the morning
Longing for the river made me want to cut and run.

And it's gone, all gone,
All that dry time in the desert
And then one day
My baby joined the ferryman
And I see that boat comin'
And my soul is nearly ready
But today I'll drink this coffee
And live life as best I can.

And I look back now at the memories of a lifetime
And I try to recall all the friends I have known
And their names may be gone but I still recall their faces
And that sweet, strong coffee in the heart of their homes.

And it may be gone (chorus)
My childhood on the river
Or my youth in the city
Or my time in the sun
And the ferryman is comin'
And my soul is nearly ready
But today I'll drink this coffee
And live life as best I can.

Today I'll drink this coffee
And live life as best I can.

Author notes

I did it for an exercise.. Song lyrics

Comments

• right now

  Adding your comment:
• 
  oxymoron270
  May 29
  
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  Loving It

  Despite how it talks about missing the childhood, I was smiling the entire time I read it... Just smiling. It was really cute that it had this fond memory of coffee attached to everything. I hope that one day I'll remember something so fondly, somewhere I can "go" when I miss the good old days. I love this totally and completely. It's amazing and cute and I'd love to hear music with it. I like songs for their lyrics usually, and if I looked up a song and found these lyrics, I would absolutely decide to download it. Great job!

  . Rewarded 8
• • 
    riveralex
    August 4
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks, OM - really glad you connected with it...

    ...fills my heart. Best RA
• kittykat9597
  April 25
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  well written

  its a good memories piece
• 
  Dirty and Broken
  April 24
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  i like this, i think it's really good
• 
  Gagiikwe
  April 12
  
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  Add some Chicory to the coffee

  Hello wee bonny lass,
  
  You had me humming a celtic tune to it until you moved to Reno, Nevada. Now I'll have to imagine Dolly Parton singing in the Grand Ole Opry.
  Your song reminded me of two 1950's songs; 'Early Morning Rain'; and another one who's title escapes me, but had the line "so I'll call my dog and take the truck and drive on into town, when those dusty autumn winds begin to blow"; both had a similar tune, and conveyed regret.
  
  1. Could you set the locale of the river more clearly; so as to make the contrast more pronounced? The Avon, the Cam, the Mississippi; or even the Bayous of Louisiana?
  2. Could you choose another desert location besides Reno? West Texas, New Mexico. Were you after someplace arid, desolate, expansive and dry? Lots of drearier and more isolated US places than Reno.
  
  The image of coffee and home works well. The ferryman chorus is clear. [But surely a Brumel can build a bridge to cross a river!]
  3. Why did the father tell stories of the woods, if the singers memories are about childhood on a river? Shouldn't he be telling tales of riverboats and floods, etc?
  
  Corny? Yes, somewhat. However, with the right music and an older voice it should work.
  
  JG

  . Rewarded 8
• 
  marcusmoore
  April 9
  
  Edit | Reply

  Hey RA

  I thought that the words in this song/poem were really good. I say song before poem b/c this is obviously more of a song than it is a poem. But as a lyricist I believe that all songs are poems, just with music behind them that helps them flow. I think this is definately a song that you have to already have the melody or harmony in your head to be able to really wrap yourself around the song aspect of it. I myself have written some songs, alot of them shit probably, but some good ones have popped up in there from time to time. Not being able to play a key instrument myself such as guitar or piano, I'd have to write down my melody's on the paper or write down the name of a song that was close to the harmony or rhythm that I was trying to emulate or use to my advantage. A hard thing to do without making your lyrics feel and look like a parody or remake of another's work, just different words. So that helps give me a more open mind to what this could be with the right music applied to it. I read what you and Lad were talking about and I'd have to agree, some jazzy lounge type composition seems like it would fit best here. I used to play sax in middle school. Couldn't play a note anymore but it sure was fun. But those drums at the back of the room kept calling my name, so it was inevitable that I switch back there where I was farther from the teacher and could make more noise without squealing and squeaking my way through practice at home and at school, especially during concerts HaHa! Anyways, I didn't find the song to be corny at all. I mean there may be some cheesy parts, but that's what love is all about anyways, being silly, sticking yourself out there, doing stuff you normall wouldnt do b/c you are in LOVE. Humility is replaced with desperation, at least when it comes to getting them back or giving them what they want, which is hopefully YOU. Nothing corny in that, as The Beatles once said:
  
  "Well don't you know that its a fool, who plays it cool.
  By making his world a little colder."
  
  Na Na Na Na Na!!
  
  Overall a very fine write indeed. I enjoyed it much, I'd have to say that I enjoyed letting you know about my feelings towards this type of art and your song/poem here as much as I enjoyed reading it again and again. Congrats RA and the best of wishes. If ya don't mind me asking, where is it exactly that you live?? I know it's in Europe correct? LoL I obviously don't want a street address or anything like that, just a country and maybe city, just to give an idea of where you're from and where your ideas and inspiration come from. Those types of things fascinate me. People fascinate me very much as well. I love finding out inspirations to art and what makes that person tick, what their weaknesses are, their strengths, their trials and tribulations, goals and accomplishments, I'm sure you've gotten more than the picture by now, I'd like to become a journalist and travel the world, writing down stories that I think would interest the world and change people's hearts. But those of course are just dreams and have alot of work ahead of them before they become reality. Sorry for talking your ear off on something that was supposed to be a critique on something that you did. Now it seems to be all about me. But it's already written so I won't erase it, you can just get me back or tell me to shut the hell up next time I leave a review and get to the damn point. Ha ha Hope that you seriously didn't mind the long ramblings'. Cya soon.
  
  TTYL
  MM

  . Rewarded 8
• dave ochs
  April 8
  Edit | Reply

  hey RA

  i tend to agree with windover its hard to judge this without hearing it as a song. i have a karoke maching (which is really corny) where the lyrics appear on the screen and without the music they wouldn't be any good.
  
  i do think this is thematically sound with coffee being the constant in the ever changing universe however eventually we come full circle.
  dave

  . Rewarded 6
• • 
    riveralex
    April 9
    Edit | Reply

    Yeah, it's tricky, isn't it

    ... yet what people like you say is important to developing a song with an audience - thanks for taking the time to check it out,, and the comment that is comes full circle and theme is basically sound, lyric is different, isn't it... if I go to the next stage with it I'll let you know so you can hear it - best RA
• Evske
  April 8
  
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  no

  I thought it read well, and I particuarly liked the last three verses. the coffee theme evokes a rich imagery most people can relate to and a musical rhythm that is appealing,although I did find the 5 lined second verse a little awkward

  . Rewarded 4
• • 
    riveralex
    April 9
    Edit | Reply

    Yes, that verse is a bit awkward,

    I think it willscan singing - the 2nd and 3rd lines run topgether, but it's far from perfect. These things have a way of working themselves out when people say useful comments like yours - you know in your bones you need to fix it but it's helpful to have that little constructive push - thanks Evske! Best RA
• 
  Lad
  April 8
  
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  river, I've written many songs over lots of years, lyrics and music - a few of them recorded on demos, one actually put out for sale on an album - and I can easily say that your lyric is a damn good one. Wish I'd written it myself.
  
  As I read it the second time, I began to make up a rather vagrant tune in my head, especially for the chorus. I heard keyboard, tenor sax, guitar and drums in the background, and a plaintive singer - and it all worked beautifully. The lyrics are a dream for a composer; the mostly steady beats along with some very fine slightly off-beats make for an honest and flowing song altogether. It moves! but gently, just right for its theme.
  
  Not only could I hear, yes!, a Tony Bennet do this (softly, with only a piano accompaniment) but I could also hear someone more contemporary, like a Mariah Carey with a small combo.
  
  As to it being a poem as well as a lyric, there I think it works well, too. There's a nostalgic candor about the lines, centered on coffee, that can appeal to people who still FEEL poetry as song - a nicety almost gone today, but one which people, ordinary people, still respond to. So, in my opinion, it works both as a poem on its own and as a lyric, because its sentiments are poetically rendered, and its chorus develops ever so slightly each time, deepening a listener's (or a reader's) connection to it. Now that I think of it, why WOULDN'T it be a good poem as well as a lyric? It uses metaphor in a way that appeals to the emotions, without melodramatic sorrow but with suggestive images; it flows with skill; its lines are disciplined; its rhymes are soft and nicely tucked within lines; and, as a good poem should do, it summons up a unity of feeling by use of poignant details. If that's not a poem, what the hell is?
  
  Nice work, all the way. Hats off!
  
  Later...
  
  Lad

  . Rewarded 8
• • 
    riveralex
    April 9
    Edit | Reply

    Brill, I will be considering a sax

    ..and a jazz feel when it comes to writing the tune - I think it may be a piano tune rather than a guitar one and the idea of akind of distant tinkling appeals a lot - thanks Lad - kind regards
  • • 
      Lad
      April 9
      Edit | Reply
      Sounds good, and I hope it's a tenor sax; I've always felt the tenor, as opposed to a bass, alto or soprano sax, to sound like a moody cup of coffee - or other stronger drink, along with remembrance.
      And I think that when a tunesmith - maybe yourself? - starts notating your lyrics, the two of you will probably agree on some needed changes in the lyrics to fit the music's flow. Your lyrics/poem has enough agreeably flexible spots in it that a composer can work with, with you.
      And, oh yeh, nothing like mellow jazz to go with coffee's nostalgic aroma.
      Later...
      Lad
• 
  Windhover
  April 2
  
  Edit | Reply

  The nature of the beast...

  Hey Alex. I found myself almost totally distracted by the knowledge that this was a song-lyric and not a poem proper. They are subtly different beasts it seems, and without the music I don't know what to make of this except that it doesn't seem to quite make it as a stand-alone poem. Does that make sense? Anyway, hope it doesn't offend. Very Best to you as always. >W<

  . Rewarded 8