11:45
Is what the clock now reads
i sit, awaiting that faithful hour
when all time seems to Stop
only for a moment
11:47
with every change of the numbers
the time draws nearer and still
i'm waiting... and waiting
waiting for something to happen
11:50
even after a few more changes
nothing happens of any significance
"in the Still of the night"
i finally understand the power of that title
11:54
the song itself is about love
but i now understand the saddness of the title
that one fleeting moment when time seems to just Freeze
waiting fojust a moment, when time takes over again
11:56
that brief, Pausing moment is almost here
and still i see no change
nothing that would cause excitement
and still, i'm waiting
11:59
Does this moment always go by unnoticed
It seems that no one is around to enjoy this with me
Everyone has apparently gone without me while i'm
Still waiting, waiting until the moment when everything...
12:00
Reviews
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wow
This was really good I liked how you put the time in your piece, It made it flow very well also when you put the time in each stanza it made each stanza its own, I guess what I am trying to say is that putting time in there. You made it feel like each moment, and each minute you were thinking and making the poem come to life as if I was thinking it. I read your last stanza over and over again lol to try to get your message you were sending and I think that I got it but maybe I still don't so this is what I think you are trying to say " In your life its like time is slipping by you faster the more you think about being alone. Making that each moment your alone its like no one is there to share what you enjoy in life and what you don't. Your waiting for that special someone to be right besides you so that you can share your every moment you spend on this earth with that person but you haven't found that person yet. I think thats what your message is but probably not. You put a lot of emotion into this piece it was of course strong and powerful. I enjoyed reading this piece very much you are a really good writer keep up the good work.
Sincerely your friend,
Chandra
lol
Great piece
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Read the last stanza again, only then read the word that the first letter in the 4 lines spells... try it!
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Something to do with spelling everyone without the y? Not a clue what the message is though.
The poem though, is quite good, i really like the inclusion of the times, works well.
What song were you referring to? And when you mention 'the title' do you mean the title of this poem or the song?
Just reading again i noticed what you mean in the last stanza. I get it now. Good job you hinted on it, would never have noticed that! Well, now i see this meaning behind it, the last stanza is very powerful - "everyone has apparently gone without me" for example (check your spellings/typos!). Also the idea of being alone when you die is a strong, emotional image. Good poem here - nice one!
Matt -
wow now I get it and it is a very powerful piece. Thanks for the little hint I needed it. How you created the piece is very unique I could have never thought of it that way. The emotion in this piece you can tell its there. Anyway very well done.
Sincerely your friend,
Chandra
*HUG*
You deserve some more points since you helped me figure out the message. but they won't let me give you anymore sorry.
I will make my own.
there three points made by me lol.
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I like this layout
I haven't seen a poem layed out like this before. I think it's very unique, and draws the reader in. I love how it's all this build up, just for a moment in time that passes just as quick as it came. perfection on ice. I see your message. very very good.
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very very good!
i really like how the title fits in with the poem. the differnet times and descriptions of what happen during that time was my favorite part. there was a message in the last stanza and i'm proud to say that i can tell you exactly what it is....i think, not really....no i can't tell you exactly but i can take a stab at it right?
lemme try right now....
i think that the last word of that entire stanza would be "ends" but that would make the poem seem oh-so-sad!!!!
i tried
Sachiro ^^
shadow2050
April 15