Come please hold my hand and let us talk
She says as we stroll down Bleeker street
Upon the icy cobblestones we walk
Time slips through splayed fingers swift and fleet
I never felt a day so universal
profoundly joyous wide and deep
My heart throws kisses, thumps are felt by all
I ask her if she gives her soul to keep
She whispers words blown softly on my neck
Hold your breath hear the village voices
The Bohemian poets or do we call them Czech
This day was made for whom the poet rejoices
Hear the beat we learned from Kerouac
Fall in love for a night and sleep in a shack
What did you like/not like about this? How would you improve?
Comments
-
This one really paints a picture. Without going into too many physical details, you triggered the mind to generate a complete scene of the couple walking along the street. The ability to understand and identify with the speaker was key in making this image complete, right down to facial expressions and affectionate actions. As far as any commentary on the sonnet form goes, I am no expert there. It certainly does appear a good level of work went into the completion of this one, however, so I am assuming you stayed true to form very successfully. Very nice writing...
. Rewarded 8
Adding your comment:
