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[ Are you still happy ]

Are you still happy
about us?
I'm not,
I guess.

I used to feel
tingles
holding your hand
but now it's just

hand.

Is that an
indication?

It scares me to death
to watch the clouds
and see

clouds.

Shouldn't I be seeing
cotton candy?


thoughts, please?

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Comments

  • freefromhiding
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    I like how everything you are saying is real and exactly how it is until you say cotton candy (which I love) it just ends with poem with a playful twist to a nonplayful and serious poem.


  • Windhover silver member
    April 23
    Edit | Reply

    Romantic

    Hey Scribbler!
    Shouldn't you be seeing soaring galleons and mighty towers?
    Shouldn't the petal of each word be contriving a wonderful bouquet
    of scribbledflowers?
    You're such an old Romantic!
    This was nice and concise - but does it mean it's over between us?
    Good to see your face in the place! x >W<


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy silver member
    April 22
    Edit | Reply
    I really like that thought...shouldn't I be seeing cotton candy?

    This was an easy to feel poem.

    I think maybe you should have but now it's just a hand...instead of just hand etc

    I felt the questioning and the emotion and think it's a tight piece.


    Cindy